Lt. Jg. Geoffrey Teller & Ens. Wil Ukinix - Shore leave Traditions - Part 2

[Danny Lee]

((Numerous Romulan Ales Later))

 

Ukinix: Ah mate, bloody people from Adelaide.  They’re - ::drunk laugh:: they're either chardonnay sipping arse-clowns, or feral bogans... Letsss drink to em anyway, cos they're a losst cause.

Teller:  ::hiccup:: To the boggarts!  ::hiccup::

 

Andorian:  Hey!  What’d you say about people from Adelaide?!

 

::Teller found himself having trouble focusing on the large Andorian fellow with tattoo sleeves on his arms and a purple mohawk who had drawn himself up in front of their table, along with several of his very large friends of different species, including a human.  Everything seems pretty funny, though, especially the way the room kept drifting back and forth.::

 

Ukinix: Nah, I was jussst talking about - about - about people from *Earth* Adelaide, mate.  Not here.

 

::The Andorian’s human friend spoke up.::

 

Human: I’m originally *from* Earth Adelaide before I moved here.  And let’s get one thing clear.  We’re not your mates - ::challenging voice:: mate.

 

Ukinix: ::To human:: So which one *are* you, Earth Adelaide.  ::quiet burp::.  Chardonnay ssssipping arse-clown, or...

 

::Wil pointed at the human male’s mullet hairstyle..::

 

Ukinix: Ah.  Feral bogan.

 

::The Andorian grabbed Wil’s top and yanked him out of his seat.  Wil tried to do the same back to him, but struggled to get past the man’s huge arms.  So instead he kicked him in the ankle, which made him let go of Wil.  He stepped back, as his friends moved closer.::

 

::Teller came to his feet, wobbling slightly, and leaned against the table.  His display of bravado did not impress the locals.::

 

Teller:  Look buddy ::hiccup:: we’re all just having a good time.  How about I buy you and your….::hiccup:: girlfriends here a round?

 

::The Andorian’s human friend pushed Teller on the shoulder.::

 

Teller: ::lopsided grin:: Won’t your ::hiccup:: girlfriends be jealous if we go out dancing?

 

Andorian: Stupid Pinkskin!

 

Teller:  Ugly Smurf!  

 

::The situation quickly deteriorated after that.  The lead Andorian flipped their table out of the way, scattering drinks and other patrons, most of whom looked on the tussle with bemused boredom.  Teller felt himself being lifted off the floor by the Andorian who had at least a half meter on him before sailing over and landing behind the bar.  Wil joined him on the floor a few moments later, ricocheting off the back wall and dislodging several bottles which clattered to the ground.  Undeterred, both men helped each other up as the remainder of the Andorian’s friends pushed their way forward.  With a smile and an incoherent war cry, both men launched themselves back over the bar and collided with the lead Andorian, toppling him to the ground in a fury of poorly aimed blows. ::  

 

::The brawl turned into an impromptu interspecies wrestling match, as Wil, Geoff, the Andorian and his friends all got tangled up on the ground.  Wil continued to taunt the ‘bogans’ as Geoff got lifted into the air on the large Andorians shoulders.  Remembering a tip from his mentor Old Jan, he grabbed both of the Andorians antenna and yanked hard, causing the azure man to cry out in pain and toss Teller off like an angry rodeo bull.  Landing in a heap in a partially occupied booth, Teller apologized to the mildly startled locals, grabbed and finished one of their drinks, then rejoined the fray::

 

::Finally, several security personnel stepped in and pulled the melee apart.  They first bounced Teller and Ukinix out of the bar, followed by the lead Andorian and his burly friends, with stern warnings not to return.  As Teller and Ukinix began laughing and dusting themselves off, Wil felt a large hand on his shoulder.  Wil put his fists up ready to fight again, but the much larger Andorian put his palms up in a sign of friendly surrender..::

 

Andorian: Woah woah woah! Hey.  If we get thrown all out together, we all go to the next bar for a round of drinks.  It’s local tradition!  C’mon pinkskins, whaddya say?

 

Teller: ::rubbing his jaw:: I’d say you got a pretty good right, Papa Smurf.  Who are we to ignore local tradition, right Wil? 

 

::Wil jumped up to put his arm around the Andorians shoulder.::

 

Ukinix: Alright, but it’s your buy first, bogan!

 

Andorian: ::Laughing:: Cheeky bastard! You’re on!

 

::The group of them began shambling down the street together, nursing their wounds and supporting one another while continuing to trade crude jokes and laughing insults.::

 

((A lot of Romulan Ale Later))

 

::Teller became aware of the sound of raucous laughter.   Pushing against the drunken haze, he looked around to see what appeared to be the interior of a poorly lit and questionably hygienic tattoo parlor.  Across the room, several of the locals they had previously tussled with were drinking and laughing happily while Wil flipped slowly through a catalogue of images for his own tattoo.  An ill tempered Bolian holding a laser etcher approached Teller.::

 

Bolian:  I’ve got the burner all heated up for you if you’re done trying to teach me how to sing old human songs.  You sure about the image?

 

::Teller had no memory of the singing lesson or choosing an image, but nodded dreamily and rested his head back in the chair.  He dimly realized he still had a bottle of something in his right hand and took a long pull on the cold, bitter beverage as awareness pleasantly faded..::  

 

((Quite a few more drinks later, Engineering Lab, USS Veritas))

 

::Teller awoke to a pounding sound that he at first imagined was only in his head.  Taking stock of himself, he found that he was propped precariously on a worktable in the Engineering lab, back aboard the Veritas, and that Wil was snoring loudly a few feet away, draped boneless over a stool.  The pounding grew more distinct and seemed to be accompanied by impossibly loud, angry yelling.  Angry Klingon yelling, Teller’s addled brain eventually worked out.  Blearily taking in the room, his eyes finally settled on a shiny crimson prosthetic arm sitting on the workbench, connected to several diagnostic and charging panels.  Reeling, Teller stumbled his way across several empty beverage containers and half-consumed food packs to Wil, who he had to shake awake.::

 

Teller:  Uh..Wil...did we...borrow G’var’s new arm last night?  

 

::Wil could hear Teller talking in his dream.  Which made him realise that he was in a dream.  Which made him snap awake.  He sat up quickly, which made him grab his head - he had a throbbing headache, and still felt a little drunk.  He eventually squinted his eyes, to look at Geoffrey, before what his Chief had said sunk in.  His eyes snapped open, and his head turned to look at G’var’s arm.  Without G’var attached to it.::

 

Ukinix:  ::Covering his mouth::  Mate, we need to get this back to her-

 

Teller:  Well I’m pretty sure she’s on the other side of that door and she doesn’t sound happy.  

 

::Wil’s eyes and mouth opened wide as he stood up.  He could hear G’var yelling.::

 

Ukinix: ::Quietly:: I’m a dead man.

 

Teller:  Ungh my head.  What the hell did we do to it?  And why does my arm hurt? 

 

::Teller rolled up his sleeve and his eyes went wide at the image on his bicep.  A stylized rendition of the Veritas, similar to the one printed on the coffee cups for his cafe, but with one very notable and very naked addition.::

 

Ukinix: What the hell is… hang on, is that-

 

Teller:  Uh...I think it’s supposed to be...you can kinda tell by the...perkiness.  

 

::Wi’s jaw dropped, before looking away.::

 

Ukinix:  That creeps me out.

 

Teller:  I know I know, I guess the guy took some artistic license.  She’d need a back brace! 

 

Ukinix: Mate, you need to get that off.  I’d hate to think if-

 

::Wil grimaced for effect.  Then he jumped when there was another bang on the door from G’var.  Wil looked at Teller in horror.::

 

Teller:  Ungh, one problem at a time.  Look around for a tricorder, we need to figure out what we did to this thing ::Teller gestured to the prosthetic:: and quick, cause I’m pretty sure she’s going to break through that door soon.

 

::Teller rummaged around the debris on the floor and tables, finding several more empty beverage containers, one partially dismantled phaser emitter, a half-eaten hasperat, one large cowboy hat, a brochure from someplace called ‘Pegasus Pallox’s Spare Parts Emporium,” and several components that could’ve been a holo-emitter before being torn apart by a pack of wild targs. His head was pounding.::

 

::Wil’s ankle felt sore, and he didn’t know why.  But he ignored it as best he could, as he spotted a tricorder in the corner - next to several empty bottles of beer.::

 

Ukinix: Looks like we got a replicator working after all.  I don’t even remember doing that.

 

::Amid the mess, Teller found and opened the compartments med kit.  Digging around for a capsule of inaprovaline, he set the dosage and pressed the hypo against his neck.  The injector hissed and Teller’s headache immediately began to clear.  He attempted to toss the hypo to Wil but his aim was wildly off and the hypo bounced off a console before landing on the floor.::  

 

::Just then, the door slid open to admit a furious one armed Klingon tactical officer.::

 

((Continued in ‘Shore Leave Traditions - Supplemental, with special guest star Lt. JG G’var!))

 

=========================================================================

 

Lieutenant JG Geoffrey Teller

Chief Engineer

USS Veritas - NCC 95035

Capt. R. Rahman, Commanding

V239509GT0

 

&

Ensign Wil Ukinix
Engineering Officer
USS Veritas
V239511WU0