Ensign Reine'X - The panic

[Reine'X]

((Valhalla Lounge, Approaching Deck 4, USS Valkyrie))

Reine'X: I’m wondering...what was that interview again, the one you wanted to do with me?

Is’Kah: Oh yes. A security interview. Could you tell me a little about yourself while I compare it to your records?

Reine'X: Indeed. I grew up in the First City with my family. Well, with my parents and two brothers. The rest of my family lives on Orion, ::she raised one eyebrow:: I think.

Is'Kah nodded, satisfied with the answer. 

Is’Kah: If my memory is correct, that city is on Qo’noS. What led you to Starfleet instead of the Imperial Fleet?

oO My mother ...She didn’t choose Starfleet over the Imperial Fleet for me. But she did insist I do something… worthwhile with my life. Starfleet just happened to fit that definition.Oo

Partially, it was indeed her mother’s “fault” that she applied to Starfleet Academy. Her mother was always on her back about not having a proper life, a stable job (do Orions even have stable jobs?), and just gallivanting across the galaxy. Reine’X thought her decision would please her, at least for a while. Whether Reine’X wanted to stick with Starfleet, she wasn’t sure yet. It wasn’t her childhood dream or anything. And she had met a lot of cadets on Earth who were absolutely crazy about Starfleet. Reine’X wasn’t even that enthusiastic about the whole Federation. But because she had friends in the Federation and had visited ESD and Earth a few times (and she liked the "vibe"), she thought it would be easy. However, Is’Kah didn’t need to hear all of this ranting. Hence Reine’X kept it simple:

Reine'X: I was able to join Starfleet thanks to the Klingon-Federation exchange program , as I'm a Klingon citizen. Though I’m not sure why it’s called an exchange program, since I wasn’t really exchanged for anyone. The numbers of cadets from each side vary every year. I also needed letters of recommendation, which my friends in Starfleet were able to provide.

Is’Kah: Do you enjoy being in Starfleet?

Reine'X: I suppose so. I mean, do I enjoy being on the ship so far? I didn’t have any expectations when I came onboard, if I’m being honest. ::And she was being honest.:: The first thing that happened was that I materialized straight into the middle of Sickbay, with no prior briefing about the current mission. So I just went with the flow::beat::an Earth expression.

Is'Kah: At least a planet didn’t burn down as I did on my first mission.

Reine’X looked at Is’Kah with a deep, intent gaze.

oOTell... Don't be afraid... to share with me...Oo

She had always been drawn to people: their emotions, their contradictions, the things they hid beneath the surface. There was something endlessly compelling about the way a person could fracture, adapt, or unravel. And this was the very reason why she pursued counselling. 

On her scout ship, she had been everything; engineer, pilot, navigator, tactical. Not because she was exceptional, far from it,  but because she had to do it. She kept it from falling apart. The ship needed maintenance. So Starfleet Academy was an easy choice. And why did she choose counselling as major? Despite her cold exterior, she understood people. She knew how to earn their trust. Her experience wasn’t the kind Starfleet advertised; she's met criminals, drifters, the broken. She knew how they thought, and could talk to them. Beneath it all was her curiosity: a need to understand what shapes a mind, what pushes it to the edge. 

Reine'X could sometimes be mean, even rude. But when she wanted someone to open up, she could become exactly what they needed. And Starfleet would give her the chance to explore that.

Reine’X: I'm listening, Lieutenant.. ::she said kindly, with warm voice. 

Is'Kah: To be honest, the horror of watching a planet being consumed by fire has been the least of what I’ve seen. My second, third, and fourth missions were far more intense. ::beat::I am guessing I can’t exactly drop that on you and then deflect back to my side of the interview, correct?

Reine’X: Mm-hmm.. ::she nodded, eyes still locked on Is'Kah, encouraging zhen to continue.

Is'Kah: My second mission was the most traumatic out of my first four, even if my fourth has been the closest to death I’ve come to while in Starfleet. We answered a distress call only to find the ship had been stripped and holes cut into it from the outside. We only rescued a child. A few hours later, we attempted to rescue another ship in a quasar solar system. There was a flare from the star, and I assumed the metaphasic shields should have protected us. They didn’t, and the Ronin was shoved into the ship we meant to rescue.

Is’Kah was starting to panic. She showed typical signs: a breaking voice, elevated heart rate, trembling, thirst… Reine’X recognized the symptoms, because of her training. 

The Trill hybrid asked for water.

Reine’X: I am so sorry to hear that you had to go through this. I'm listening. 

And Reine’X was genuinely interested in learning what triggered the panic response. But she also didn’t want to be pushy. PTSD patients needed to open up on their own, and Reine’X was glad that, despite her demeanor, Is’Kah had opened up to her so quickly. (Her hard demeanor was something many instructors had commented on during Reine’X’s Starfleet years. Simply put, they didn't believe in her)

 Is’Kah drank most of the water, then continued.

Is'Kah: It was a trap, one set for Commander Raga. The rest of us just happened to be in the way. A Brikar named Wrath sent spider-like robots to strip the ship. They were supported by a few Robotic Life Forms, or RoLFs for short, covered in Brikar metal, making them nearly impervious to phaser fire. During the fight on the bridge, several people were going hand-to-hand with the shiny robot while I was trying to take out the little metal buggers w-when C-cr-crewman…

The panic attack was getting worse now. 

Reine’X: Thank you for sharing that with me. Take a slow, deep breath....., yes, that's it::she smiled warmly. 

Is’Kah took the advice and drew a deep breath, centering herself. Then her voice and poise changed completely.

.

Is'Kah: Crewman Baker was fatally stabbed by the mechanical spiders and succumbed almost immediately. An officer under my command was abducted and subjected to torture, resulting in their death. In total, fifty-seven individuals lost their lives that day. I spent the subsequent five days awake as we were towed back to Deep Space 31, maintaining the integrity of the ship with blood, sweat, baling wire, and duct tape. When I finally managed to rest, I experienced a severe PTSD episode, during which I shattered both my hands and forearms while confronting what I believed to be a RoLF. It was not. Instead, it was the bulkhead in my quarters. Had it not been for my bond with Ghee’looth, I would have bled to death on the floor of my quarters. She reached out to me through our bond from Denali Station and rescued me from being trapped in my dream.

...  𐊖𐊕𐊄𐊎𐊗 ...

(A swear word in Orion language) 

oOThat's absolutely terrible. Poor Is'Kah.. Oo

Reine’X had experienced a lot of fights in her life; she had seen blood and dead bodies around her. But it was always a quick in-and-out kind of situation. She never cared to check on her opponents. Additionaly, none of her crew had ever died while they were bounty hunting. And so Reine'X had never experienced a horror like what Is'Kah had just described. 

Reine’X: It was not your fault.. :: she paused, making sure Is’Kah was paying attention to her..::You are safe right now. Right here 

After just a brief pause, she continued.

Reinex: Lieutenant… Is’Kah:: she decided to call zhen by zhen name without first checking if it was alright. Reine’X assumed the hybrid could actually benefit from it, since the situation required dropping ranks. Besides, they were off duty anyway.:: Is’Kah, you are not your trauma. Your trauma::she articulated the next words:: DOES NOT define you. 

Is'Kah: Response

Reine'X: May I offer you my help? My services, so to speak? ::She let that sink in::.As you know, my role is as a counselor. Would you consider regular counseling sessions? That is, if you are not currently seeing another counselor. This could be in an unofficial capacity for now, as I would first have to clear it with my superiors, of course.

She was still listed as Medical Officer , after all. 

Is'Kah: Response

Reine'X : But of course, please continue talking if you wish to. If you want to take a break, that is also fine.

My first patient? Yes, that would be my first patient, if Is'Kah agreed… The realization suddenly hit Reine’X. 

Is'Kah: Response

Ensign Reine'X
Medical Officer
USS Valkyrie-A
V240302R14