Ensign Janai Zol - On Joining

[Janai Zol]

((Counselor Strathmore's Office, Deck 5, USS Valkyrie-A))

Strathmore: Of course. Well, I’d like to start with two questions. How are you feeling and what would you like to talk about?

As Counselor Strathmore headed to the replicator for her hot chocolate, Janai pondered the question. How was she feeling? Overwhelmed, mostly - she was far from home, a new ensign only just figuring out her duties. She felt Zol inside her torso, swirling around.  

 

Zol: I'm still getting my bearings aboard the Valkyrie. I'm glad it's shore leave now, and I have some time to get familiar with the place - I still confuse the Decks. And I really must try the Holodeck soon. As for what to talk about, uh, I suppose Zol?

The Counselor was at the replicator by this point.

Strathmore: Hot chocolate.

Hot chocolate materialized in a cup, and the Counselor brought it to the table between them.

Zol: We've been joined for about a year now, and we've gotten over the first hurdles. I don't think all Trill experience Joining the same way, but for me it mostly feels like, whenever I'm nervous, Zol swims around inside my body - he does somersaults when he's stressed.

The Counselor sat back down and placed his PADD in his lap.

Strathmore: Tell me more.

Janai remained silent for a moment, tried to think of the best words to express herself. In the end, she decided to answer with a question.

Zol: Counselor, are there times in your life where you think you are not doing enough?

Strathmore: Response

Zol: There are thousands of Trill who request to be Joined each year. Only a fraction get accepted. Of those, the vast majority have spent years training for the Joining and gaining distinctions in a variety of fields, all to ensure the Symbiont will absorb those memories and skills. I didn't do any of that. I applied for a Symbiont on a dare. I don't regret it, not one bit, but I'm very confused as to why I was chosen.

Strathmore: Response

Janai gathered her thoughts a moment, feeling Zol respond to her anxiety, curling up inside her belly. She should be grateful, she knew, and she was, but she felt so lost sometimes. 

Zol: Zol is a part of me. But sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough for him. It feels like someone made a mistake somewhere. I'm not the first Trill to be in Starfleet, nor the last - what do I have that others did not, that I was selected for the Joining?

Strathmore: Response

--

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Ensign Janai Zol

Science Officer

USS Valkyrie-A, NCC-76418-A
V240304JZ2