JP Lieutenant Is'Kah Xiron and Lieutenant (JG) Taj'el - Infinite Diversity, Uneasy Combinations Part 2
Kaitlyn Kalor
Leading the way in silence, Taj’el considered that they might use the opportunity to gain some insight into relationships from the other Vulcan. After a moment, they decided a question might be appropriate, careful not to intrude, but curious enough to risk it.
Taj’el: You mentioned your partner is Andorian. Does that mean you find it easy to connect with other species aboard your crew?
Is’Kah: I would say it is easier, though not exactly easy.
Taj’el: I see. I have encountered certain difficulties since joining Starfleet that I had not previously experienced.
Is’Kah: I did as well; however, I’ve come to learn that most emotions stem from a logical source, even if you haven’t seen the reason for it.
Taj’el: I disagree. While there may be logic involved at times, in other instances it is simply a reaction, and the presence of emotion does not alter the situation.
Is’Kah: Everyone is shaped by the sum of their experiences, most notably their childhood. Their reactions may not be directly related to your words or actions but may stem from something deeply ingrained from their early years. That often leads to what seems illogical to us but is perfectly logical to them.
They paused, giving a small nod. They could follow the reasoning, yet it still did not fully align in practice. Even if a response had a logical origin, that did not make it logical in the moment. If fear carried from childhood into adulthood when triggered by a stimulus, the reaction itself would not alter the immediate situation.
They reflected briefly on their own recent difficulties with others, fingers adjusting at their gloves in a subtle, uncertain gesture.
Taj’el: I would not deny others their emotions; not everyone can be Vulcan. However, a degree of control over them would be beneficial.
Is’Kah: Emotions are confusing; it took me over a year to learn how to deal with the appropriately. Yet, humans would say I have the emotional control of a 15-year-old. It is why I put on what I call the Vulcan mask on duty.
Taj’el: Vulcan mask on duty?
Is’Kah: When I am off duty, I explore my emotions. However, when on duty, I try to behave more like a Vulcan.
Stopping just outside Holodeck 2, the source of their recent emotional discomfort, Taj’el hesitated. Their trust in the system had been compromised after the culinary incident, yet it remained the environment they were most familiar with.
Taj’el: So faking somewhat being Vulcan… but you are Vulcan to some degree.
Is’Kah: I was raised in the primary way of Vulcan.
Taj’el: Forgive me, I do not understand. Why do you choose to do this?
Is’Kah: I experienced an overwhelming surge of emotion after committing an error during a mind meld with my partner. I mixed our katra’s while in an altered state, akin to dropping them into a blender and then reintegrating them into our bodies. Because of that, it took more than a year to recover some degree of shielding. Currently, the situation is exceedingly overwhelming, not only because my PTSD and emotions are intensified, but also because I can perceive Ghee’looth’s feelings and her trauma. I have discovered that when I release these feelings while off duty, it prevents a complete feedback loop that will shatter my mental landscape, again.
Taj’el raised an eyebrow at the statement. That was… concerning information. They had never mind-melded with anyone who was not Vulcan, and they had no intention of doing so in the foreseeable future. They studied the smaller officer carefully, searching their expression for any underlying implication or unspoken meaning.
Taj’el: Have you consulted with Vulcan mind-healers?
Is’Kah: We have consulted with Vulcan Mind Healers, who presented us with two options: to remain with them for the next ten years in the hope that they might untangle us, or to accept the condition as it is and live with it. We have made the decision to accept and live with the the connection.
Taj’el: I do not believe I could make the same choice. My own experience with open emotional pathways was… highly distressing, and I would prefer to take the time to resolve such matters properly. However, you understand your own control and circumstances better than I do. If you are able to function effectively, then I will not question your decision.
Is’Kah: Interestingly, Ghee’looth exhibited a marked increase in Vulcan-like characteristics subsequent to the bonding.
Taj’el: That is logical. If you underwent such changes, it follows that your partner’s thoughts and psyche would also be affected.
They felt they should say something further, perhaps an attempt at comfort, or some form of guidance. Yet their still-developing understanding of emotion left them uncertain how to proceed. The situation felt complex, and they were aware of their own limitations in navigating it.
If anything, the other officer seemed more adept than they were. They had formed a partnership with someone outside their own species, while Taj’el still found themself hesitant even with simple physical contact.
Taj’el: Do you still wish to proceed with target practice, or would you prefer to continue this discussion? I am finding both options educational and insightful. As I mentioned, Starfleet has been my first exposure to casual interaction with more emotionally expressive species. Your experience appears… notably different, and complex.
Is’Kah: The conversation is enjoyable. Considering we are currently next to the holodeck, it might be appropriate to load a typical Vulcan main room to continue our discussion. I believe this would be an appropriate forum to discuss the nature of emotions
Zha gestured to the panel, suggesting that Taj’el select the program.
Taj’el had not used the holodeck extensively, so they did not have a preexisting program prepared. However, it was simple enough to construct a quiet, scenic Vulcan interior, it merely required a few extra moments to configure.
Taj’el: Would a tea room be sufficient?
Is’Kah: That is acceptable.
((Holodeck 2, USS Thor))
The pair entered the holodeck, the warmth washing over the petite hybrid instantly. The dry air currents carried scents that reminded Is’Kah of the years growing up on Vulcan. The noon sun filtered through the modern windows, while the rest of the room had several seats, a table, and a few plants.
Taj’el: Emotions persist. As Vulcans, we often feel them intensely, we simply do not allow them to dictate our actions. For example, I do not enjoy being on the bridge; the chaos of the viewscreen is… unsettling. However, yielding to that fear serves no purpose in the moment. Instead, we apply logic to the situation so that we may act effectively and continue to function.
Is’Kah: It is a sentiment that I share with you; however, the only rational course of action is to refuse to succumb to it. Are you aware if these emotions originate from within you or are prompted by an external stimulus?
Zha took a seat, noting a teapot of already-boiling water while a brewing device had red-leaf. Taking the pot in zhen bare hands, zha poured them both a cup of tea.
Taj’el: Those are my own emotions. I find others’ to be far more chaotic and unpredictable, hence my difficulties. Understanding your background, however, has been… genuinely enlightening for me.
Is’Kah: I find our conversation enjoyable. ::Beat:: I believe I have identified a method to assist you in managing the emotions of others. Kindly pardon the historical overview; it remains relevant. According to historical records, our ancestors endeavored to regress to the Stone Age through nuclear means. As a result of this collective traumatic event, our species came to perceive emotions as the root of all evil and believed they must be eradicated, as Surak taught.
The Trill hybrid sipped zhen cup of tea, the flavor nearly perfect. Zha had poured slightly too fast, but it was acceptable.
Raising an eyebrow, Taj’el found themself curious what insight the hybrid might offer. They held the tea carefully in their hands, allowing it to settle slightly as they waited before taking a measured sip.
Taj’el: I disagree. I do not believe our people perceive emotion as the root of all evil. Rather, they recognized our capacity for violence and impulsivity as something that required discipline and therefore a solution.
Is’Kah: Have you taken the time to review the psychologists' hypotheses regarding Surak available online?
Taj’el: I have not, most of my studies have been in the scientific field.
Is’Kah: Numerous individuals theorize that he was what humans refer to as autistic. Are you aware of the implications of that diagnosis?
Taj’el: I have not. Most of my studies have been within the scientific disciplines.
Is’Kah: Generally, individuals exhibiting these characteristics demonstrate a high level of logical reasoning, possess a limited comprehension of emotional responses, and encounter challenges in interpreting social cues. Does this description resonate with you?
Taking a moment to comprehend zhen’s words, Taj’el considered them carefully. They analyzed the phrasing, weighing examples both for and against the argument before arriving at what they believed to be the most accurate response.
Taj’el: I believe it does, up to a point, when applied to non-Vulcans.
Is’Kah: Indeed, it resembles a Vulcan attempting to engage with an emotional species.
Taj’el: I agree. What, then, are you implying?
Is’Kah: Humans have conducted extensive research into methodologies aimed at assisting individuals with autism in comprehending emotions. I have observed that studying these materials has enhanced my understanding of how to effectively achieve the goal of understanding and regulating emotions.
The description caught the older Vulcan slightly off guard. Taj’el took a moment to consider the insight, lifting their tea for a measured sip as they processed it.
Logically, the comparison held some validity. An understanding of the challenges associated with autism could, in certain respects, parallel a Vulcan’s difficulty in interpreting and navigating emotional expression. Taj’el reflected on their own experience. Even when presented with a face, they often found it difficult to accurately discern the underlying emotion.
Taj’el: I believe that has merit, and it is something I think would be helpful.
Is’Kah: I believe it will, as well.
Taj’el: Do you have any specific texts that may be helpful?
Is’Kah: I can send you a list of suggested reading.
Closing their eyes, Taj’el processed the idea more fully. It seemed potentially useful if not for strengthening mental defenses directly, then at least for improving their understanding of what others might be experiencing. That understanding, in turn, could prove indirectly beneficial in maintaining composure during telepathic or emotional contact.
They opened their eyes again, taking in the holodeck’s representation of a Vulcan cityscape, familiar, orderly, and quietly comforting in its simplicity.
After a moment, Taj’el glanced back toward the lieutenant, studying him briefly before turning their gaze once more to the skyline. They took another measured sip of tea, allowing the thought to settle without immediate response.
Lieutenant Is’Kah Xiron
Chief of Tactical and Security
USS Valkyrie, NCC-76418-A
R240101I14
Pronouns:
She/Her (Player and Character)
Zha/Zhen (Character)
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