JP Lieutenant Is'Kah Xiron and Lieutenant (JG) Taj'el - Infinite Diversity, Uneasy Combinations Part 3
Taj'el
((Holodeck 2, USS Thor))
Taj’el: You stated you were raised Vulcan. Does that imply you were raised on Vulcan itself? Were you raised by mixed species?
They considered whether zha understanding came purely from zha reading, or if zhen heritage also played a role. Taj’el had learned a great deal recently about Betazoids, but they had not yet had many opportunities to speak with Vulcans, let alone hybrids who might possess a different relationship with emotional perception.
Still, that assumption carried uncertainty. It was equally possible that someone of mixed heritage struggled more, rather than less, depending on how those influences manifested.
Their gaze drifted briefly downward to their gloved hands as the thought lingered. Is’Kah, they considered, might be a suitable individual with whom to safely practice controlled physical contact, purely in a structured, observational context, of course.
Is’Kah: I was born on Trill, in the city of Mak'ala, to a Trill father and a Vulcan mother. We relocated to Vulcan when I was five years old. I commenced my studies in the way of Surak at the age of twelve.
The Vulcan hybrid glanced at Taj’el’s hands, noting the gloves once more. It left zhen wondering what the reason was. Likely, their telepathy had gone haywire. Fascinatingly enough, this was the second time zha had met a Vulcan who required gloves in the last two years. Unusual that it happened twice, but still fascinating.
Taj’el: Do you believe that made it more difficult, or easier?
Is’Kah: Yes. It is both challenging and manageable. The latter is due to my ability to detach from intense emotions before they pose a threat to myself or others; the former arises from my ongoing process of determining appropriate methods of self-expression. There was considerable secondhand cringe from my friends when I embarked on this journey.
Taj’el: “Cringe”? I am unfamiliar with this term. Who refers to you as such?
Is’Kah: It means embarrassing those with emotions. I am certain that if you ask Lieutenant Commander T’Ama, she’ll say I am still cringe.
They still did not recognize the term, nor who the name referred to, though the name carried a vaguely Vulcan cadence. The tone, however, suggested it was likely derogatory, perhaps implying awkwardness or a lack of skill in expressing oneself.
Taj’el: Well to myself, you seem very proficient at expressing yourself.
Is’Kah: Thank you. ::beat:: If I may inquire, did you also grow up on Vulcan?
Taj’el: Somewhat, yes. I was born there and received my early education on Vulcan. I then spent much of my time aboard a Vulcan ambassadorial vessel, though my formal schooling remained entirely Vulcan.
Is’Kah: Thus, we share the experience of Vulcan schooling.
Taj’el: Correct. I believe a human once referred to me as a “forever student,” given the many years I have spent within the Vulcan academic system.
Is’Kah: That is what my parents expressed when I informed them of my intention to enroll at the Academy, especially for dual majors, once more. My mother was hesitant about my attendance, considering I was already older than most Vulcans enrolled there.
As Is’Kah spoke, Taj’el offered a small, thoughtful nod, recognizing parallels in their experiences. Their own mother had not been particularly supportive of their academic transition, and they had entered certain stages of development later than many of their peers.
They found themselves wondering whether the smaller Vulcan had always possessed a clear sense of direction, or if their path had been shaped through gradual discovery. In contrast, Taj’el remained uncertain about their own trajectory. Starfleet had seemed like the most logical progression at the time, a necessary shift rather than a fully resolved calling, and that uncertainty had yet to be entirely reconciled.
Taj’el: That resonates with me. May I ask what prompted your decision to join Starfleet?
Is’Kah: I was affiliated with a small corporation engaged in developing an innovative faster-than-light transportation method utilizing wormholes for near-instantaneous arrival. Our research was conducted aboard a station orbiting Vulcan; regrettably, the station was destroyed from the top down. I was situated near the power systems at the station's lower section, which enabled my survival of the explosion. Following my recovery, I faced difficulties securing employment, leading me to join Starfleet as a warp core specialist.
Taj’el: Do you find understanding, or passion, here? I have heard the term used frequently, that one discovers a “calling” or passion.
Is’Kah: In the field of engineering, I have come to comprehend the passion associated with the discipline. Following my second mission, I kept the Ronin running on sweat, blood, baling wire, and duct tape. During Frontier Day, I successfully initiated a warp core within fifteen minutes rather than the customary four hours. I experienced a profound sense of achievement as a result.
Zha had transitioned from engineering to security, a notable shift. Taj’el found themselves considering the reasoning behind such a change. It was… intriguing to observe someone with a more traditionally Vulcan disposition undergoing a similar evolution to that seen in other crew members. There was a measure of reassurance in that realization. It suggested that their own uncertainty and adjustments were not entirely anomalous.
Taj’el: Fascinating… You have accomplished much during your time here. Perhaps I am simply in need of more experiences myself.
Is’Kah: I was merely in the right place at the right time. There is merit in undertaking multiple missions in which the risk of fatality is nonexistent. I have never participated in a mission with less than a 30% probability of death.
Taj’el’s composed expression softened slightly, the careful “mask” of neutrality slipping as they raised an eyebrow in genuine surprise. They had, in truth, been attempting to avoid away missions whenever possible, yet circumstances had repeatedly placed them in the field. While intellectually stimulating, those missions had also been overwhelming, complex, unpredictable, and often pushing them to the edge of their adaptive capacity.
Taj’el: Why is that? I personally would prefer to remain in the lab and study. While I have gained information on missions that I could not have obtained otherwise, I have also… found myself pushed to my limits.
Is’Kah: Pushing individuals to their limits and beyond is a practice observed in Starfleet. I have discovered I'm more capable than I previously believed, especially in the role of a security officer.
Zha paused, pondering their next words. There were choices to be made in the direction of the conversation. In the end, zha continued speaking.
Is’Kah: However, I did receive assistance with that matter. One year ago, from a different universe, the Organians made contact with ours, resulting in all of the crew members of USS Chin’toka having their katras transferred to a universe where the year was 2264.
Taj’el noted the pause, briefly considering its cause. As Is’Kah spoke with measured care, Taj’el reflected on their own studies, other universes had been covered in theory at the Academy, yet they had never directly encountered such a phenomenon.
They found themselves curious as to how such an experience translated into practical understanding, and in what way it had proven beneficial.
Taj’el: Interesting… what manner of universe was it?
Is’Kah: It was one where the Orions were the dominant power, instead of the Klingons, at the time the Organians enforced their peace between the Federation and the Empire. It also provided an exemplary illustration of how alternative choices during the Academy could have impacted outcomes. I was married to a close friend whom I had rejected their offer of courtship, instead of my primary partner.
That notion registered as genuinely fascinating, prompting a subtle reaction from Taj’el, an almost imperceptible lift of the brow. The ability to observe paths not taken held a certain appeal, particularly given their own lingering uncertainty about whether Starfleet had been the correct choice following their time at the Vulcan Science Academy.
Taj’el: So your decision to change occurred after observing the alternate path you might have taken?
Is’Kah: Partly. Subsequent to the completion of that mission, I awoke with a sincere hope that it was merely a duplicate of my counterpart’s katra. She is a fully trained security officer who offers assistance; however, I face a drawback. She has dyscalculia, and since her arrival, I have experienced difficulties with mathematics that were previously straightforward.
Taj’el raised an eyebrow, the response diverging notably from their expectations. The notion of multiple Katra interwoven within a single individual was… highly complex, particularly within one so physically small. They considered the implications in silence for a moment before preparing to respond.
Taj’el: So, in essence, you are no longer precisely who you once were, rather, a synthesis of your prior self and an alternate iteration, with an added connection to your mate. That is… highly unusual. I am not extensively studied in psychology or parapsychology, so I must ask, how does that manifest subjectively? Is it… overwhelming?
Is’Kah: The response is nuanced. The involvement of my counterpart has enabled me to retain emotional control during duty hours. Prior to her joining as if she were a symbote, I was considerably less prepared. It is possible that my reluctance to transport her to Mount Seleya stems from a greater likelihood of maintaining emotional composure.
Only after speaking did Taj’el fully register the earlier hesitation, the significance of Is’Kah choosing to share something so personal. The realization came a moment too late.
A faint flicker of disappointment surfaced within them; their response had been analytical when a more measured, considerate approach may have been appropriate. They paused, searching for a way to recalibrate, something that might acknowledge the weight of what had been shared without overstepping.
Taj’el: So… you are implying that this incident pushed you to your limits, yet you emerged from it more resilient. Is that an accurate assessment?
Is’Kah: That is correct.
Feeling a sense of reciprocity in the exchange, Taj’el determined it was appropriate to share something of their own experience. The decision was not made lightly, but rather as a deliberate effort to balance the vulnerability that had been offered to them.
Taj’el: My last mission involved entities within a temple exchanging our minds into different bodies. I was placed within a highly sensitive Betazoid physiology. I had already been experiencing difficulty managing the emotional output of others, and the sudden amplification of that input was… profoundly disorienting, to say the least.
Is’Kah: I can only speculate on the extent of its overwhelming nature. We are trained to regulate our own abilities such that we resist reading surface thoughts unless actively employing them.
Taj’el: It was my first time experiencing emotions so intensely, and even then they were not my own but those of others around me. It was… a weight I was, honestly, overwhelmed by.
Is’Kah: The experience of exchanging bodies is something I identify with well, having experienced it myself. It is rather... jarring. Were you aware of the issue immediately, or did you exist as the other person for some time, as I did?
Taj’el: The total duration was one month; however, there was temporal dilation involved, so it felt closer to only a few weeks. Even so, it remained a highly harrowing period. The situation was further complicated by the fact that basic trials became significantly more complex due to none of us being in our own bodies.
Is’Kah: If I may inquire, are the gloves a by-product of the katra swap? Perhaps the event had overactivated your telepathy center?
Taj’el’s gaze dropped to their gloved hands, the sight briefly anchoring them to a memory they still associated with failure. After a moment, they removed one glove, turning their hand over as though inspecting it for something intangible, something lingering just beyond perception, yet not actually present.
Taj’el: The short answer is no, I began wearing gloves shortly before that mission, actually. My upbringing was somewhat sheltered, primarily among Vulcans, or other species only within formal settings. Since joining Starfleet, I have encountered a significantly higher number of emotionally expressive individuals. Without fully developed mental defenses, I have found myself inadvertently forming telepathic connections with those in heightened emotional states. To protect both them and myself from unwanted mental intrusion while I continue developing control, I began wearing gloves as a stabilizing measure.
The petite Vulcan hybrid felt zhen eyebrow twitch; the story sounded similar to the other Vulcan who wore gloves.
Is’Kah: Wearing gloves is a logical precaution.
Taj’el: I do not consider myself particularly gifted in telepathy, only at present, somewhat at a disadvantage.
Is’Kah: Perhaps you require additional practice, or there may be other obstacles hindering your progress. Your self-perception directly influences your capabilities. If you believe you lack innate talent, you are unlikely to succeed. Conversely, believing in your potential can enable even modest talent to flourish.
Taj’el opened and closed their mouth slightly, the response catching them off guard, not because it was incorrect, but because it was unfamiliar to them in practice. They had to acknowledge their own position: a novice in this discipline. They understood, intellectually, that improvement required practice and exposure, yet there remained a hesitation that had prevented them from fully engaging.
Taj’el: I do believe you are correct.
The petite Vulcan hybrid gave Taj’el a slight smile.
Is’Kah: I look forward to discovering whether my advice proves to be beneficial.
Sitting there for a moment, Taj’el gave a slow, deliberate nod. The assessment was likely correct, developing stronger mental defenses required controlled exposure and deliberate challenge. Even so, the idea remained uncomfortable on a deeply personal level. Their thoughts returned to what Is’Kah had shared earlier: the struggle, the adaptation, and even the hesitation involved in relinquishing the support of the alternate katra. It mirrored, in some ways, their own uncertainty, though expressed differently.
Taj’el glanced down at their ungloved hand. After a brief pause, they extended it toward Is’Kah, a quiet but intentional gesture of trust and willingness to engage with the process.
Taj’el: Shall we be friends?
Raising an eyebrow, Is’Kah paused for a moment before reinforcing zhen shields and grasping Taj’el’s hand.
Is’Kah: I would like that.
Lieutenant Is’Kah Xiron
Chief of Tactical and Security
USS Valkyrie, NCC-76418-A
R240101I14
Pronouns:
She/Her (Player and Character)
Zha/Zhen (Character)
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