JP: Aftershock - Lt. Nera, Lt. JG. Taj’el, Lt. JG Kovacs (Part 3/End)
Taj'el
((Acute Care Biobed, Main Sickbay, Deck 10, USS Thor ))
Eli had come to grips with the news that had been broken to him. He wouldn’t be leaving this sickbay. He wouldn’t be making it past Lieutenant JG. He wouldn’t be making it to his thirties. Nor would he share the rest of his life with someone. The latter being a direct consequence of how he’d ended things with his former partner, Lhandon Nilsen. Elijah was only 27; he was robbed of the rest of his life.
He sobbed again. Perhaps he was still coming to grips with it. In his PADD was a draft for the flyboy ex, with a single character “I” and a blinking cursor following it.
What did he even say? How did he even say it?
He’d debated contacting the other man via video feed over subspace; they were in the same quadrant after all. But could he handle seeing that face again? What if he’d moved on? What if things weren’t alright between them? Could he handle that being the final memory?
So instead, he resolved to craft a letter. One that would, in all likelihood, arrive following his departure.
He wiped his bleary eyes and focused back on the task at hand. It took over an hour, he’d doubted he’d ever be satisfied with the content
///
Attention: Lieutenant Commander Lhandon Nilsen, Second Officer and Senior Diplomatic Officer, USS Octavia E Butler
Sender: Lieutenant Junior Grade Elijah Kovacs, Engineering Officer, USS Thor
Subject: It’s me.
It’s been a long six months; enough for me to realize how foolish I was when I ended things. They say hindsight is everything, and looking back, I can feel the same thing.
Where I felt exposed by your affection, I should have recognized the courage it took to love without armor. Where I saw duty, I should have seen two souls brave enough to love despite the odds and distance. Where I bristled at disagreement, I should have seen two people desperately trying to understand each other, to become something greater than they were alone.You were never too much. You were vibrant, alive, and life itself.
What I did to deserve you in my life, only the gods’ will know. But I cherish the memories we had together, the meals, the picnic, and… yes, even those parties where you dragged me across the room hand in hand.
Now for the hard part.
By the time this reaches you, I won’t be here anymore. I used to speak to you about the dangers of loving in Starfleet, about the inevitability of loss and it materialized into a fatal injury. The doctors did everything they could, but despite that, I only have a few days left.
I can’t undo what I broke between us. But I need you to know this, my heart never left you. Even when I forced myself away, even when I tried to make distance feel like wisdom, it was still you. It was always you.
I don’t have the right to ask anything of you, not after how I acted, but perhaps you could indulge one last wish. When you find someone who loves you the way you loved me, don’t change who you are but hold on to them tightly. Let love be louder than fear, kinder than pride, and stronger than duty. Time prevails.
I’ll carry our memories into the next great unknown. I love you truly and deeply Lhandon Joseph Nilsen.
Yours, now and ultimately forever,
Elijah Ivan Kovacs
///
He debated continuing to fine tune the letter, but he doubted he’d ever be happy with exactly how it read -- more so the contents than the style. And, as he finished this latest round, he felt the weakness creep in.
Darkness started to cloud his vision and even moving his thumb to hit send felt like a struggle. Energy fading, and in his final moment, he was yet again robbed. PADD clattering to the floor, and a steady tone emitting from the bio-bed.
Sequestered away again in his office, Ay was roused from yet more paperwork by the little alarm on his desk. A small panel of lights, with a location listed beneath each. It was ICU room 2, the acute care bed, and with only one current patient….a mad dash out the door and down the short corridor, bursting into the terribly silent room.
Silent apart from the level, flat beep from the bed monitor.
Ay was more than aware of the prognosis and the outcome, but still. It was worth a shot, right?
Cortical and cardio stimulators in place, Ay tried, again and again, increasing the charge time after time in some vain attempt at changing the outcome.
Taj’el: Doctor Ay, the patient is deceased. All biological function has ceased, and life signs have been absent beyond recoverable parameters. No intervention will alter this outcome. You must call it.
The logic cut through the emotion, reminding Ay sadly that sometimes, there wasn’t anything more left to be done.
Nera: You’re right….that’s enough. He’s been through enough. Computer ::pausing to take a breath:: Computer, please add the following to the medical file of Lieutenant Junior Grade Elijah Kovacs. Following exposure to high levels of ultraviolet radiation, Lieutenant Kovacs underwent rapid cellular degeneration. Treatment proved ineffective. Please mark stardate 240323.01 as the official date of his passing; time, 21:55.
Shutting off the biobed alarms, Ay began slowly removing the medical devices and setting them aside, before tucking Eli’s errant arm back onto the bed and arranging the covers. Some degree of dignity, at least.
Taj’el: Forgive the bluntness of my inquiry, but what disposition will be made of their remains? We are a considerable distance from Earth.
It took a moment for the question to register with Ay. Had he been staring into space?
Nera: Yes, he, uh, communicated his final wishes. He wanted his body shot into the sun, as per the teachings of his religion. The body is returned to that which gives us life, thereby contributing to the continued existence of, well, everything and everyone.
There was something bittersweet in the sentiment. A final act of giving, when that chapter closed. Taj’el reached out to give a reassuring touch but withdrew it. They were unsure how to comfort the doctor and they themselves had some meditation to do on the subject. They went to the other side of the biobed picking up the PADD by it.
Taj’el: Is this correspondence intended for his family?
Taking the proffered PADD, Ay glanced at the screen, still open on the final document Eli had accessed. In the rush, he’d missed it entirely until Taj’el had pointed it out. Almost immediately, his gaze locked onto the name at the top, the recipient. Lhandon Nilsen; status, unsent.
The words and emotions within weren’t meant for Ay, yet he read on, hiding himself in a protective cloak that he’d later call “professionalism” and “concern”. It did little to abate the emotions that sat barely contained, roiling away just beneath the surface.
Nera: It’s a letter to a loved one.
Ay hit send, then placed the PADD onto the bed, close to Eli’s hand. One final act, before he left the room.
—-------
Lieutenant Nera Ay
Chief Medical Officer
USS Thor
G240106NA2
He/Him/His (Player/Character)
&
Lt JG. Elijah Kovacs
USS Thor
O240005JH3
he/him/his (player/character)
