Ensign Renaie Shortrith - Living On The Razor's Edge, Trying To Touch The Sun

[Renaie Shortrith]

((Counselling Suites, Deck 10, USS Ronin))

Evinrude: No, sorry, I'm just rambling. How was...the community aboard the Astraeus, at the end?

Renaie's eyes widened slightly at the unexpected question.

Shortrith: I'd like to think it was relatively tight-knit, but I think I noticed some tension toward the end when nobody knew where they were going.

Lieutenant Evinrude leaned forward, listening as Renaie replied.

Evinrude: I see, that's...that makes sense. Has the Ronin been treating you any differently?

Shortrith: What do you mean? They treat me like a person, but I don't think that's what you're referencing.

Evinrude: Er no, counselor. I was referring to that tension - are you feeling any less...tense, here?

Shortrith: Not that I'm aware of, no.

Renaie paused for a moment. oO This session isn't about me, you booked it, it's a counselling session. Oo

Shortrith: While we're here, may I ask some questions about how you're going with things?

Evinrude: ::Tess blinked, and then gave a friendly nod of agreement.:: Certainly.

Shortrith: We can continue the Astraeus conversation for a while, I was just planning ahead for this session.

Evinrude: I...didn't plan at all. Another disadvantage, you have me at. ::He smiled again, but this time his brow was also furrowed, showing some confusion.::

Shortrith: Go on, I'm listening.

Renaie tried to be encouraging.

Evinrude: Well, I know that we've had some stressful missions lately. And the one you joined...it was no different. I guess I was just waxing philosophical about growing up on a starship. I don't remember, as a child, things being so...razor's edge.

Shortrith: … Razor's edge?

oO And he's been livin' on the razor's edge / And tryin' to touch the sun / And he won't fall for that same old trick again… Oo An old Australian song, from 1983 if they recalled correctly, crossed Renaie's mind as they listened to Evinrude.

Evinrude: Sorry, uh...I mean that thin line between "everything is fine" and "nothing will be the same ever again."

The Junior Lieutenant gestured across two sides of an imaginary line as he spoke each phrase. Renaie nodded, finally understanding what he meant.

Evinrude: As a kid, sure...I remember red alert klaxons, stressed adults running about...I remember moments when my parents were clearly hiding something. But, when those moments were over...things felt normal again.

Shortrith: How are you coping now?

Evinrude: Now? I'm forced to adjust to a new normal after every mission. I go to bed and my DNA is the same, but the electrochemical signals in my head are immutably changed! I am aware of who's dead, what's gone, how many years it will take for some place or some intangible quality to recover...if it can be restored at all.

He looked up at Renaie, and Renaie noticed a semi-embarrassed flush crossing his face.

Evinrude: I'm sorry. I...seem to be grappling with change. I feel a bit silly for expecting you to help me connect with a childhood home that's likely bound for the scrapyard.

That last part of the last sentence hit Renaie like a punch in the gut. oO Commodore Mei'konda said the Astraeus wasn't going to be decommissioned… What? Oo

Renaie wasn't aware of how expressive their face was of their emotions.

Shortrith: It's not going to be decommissioned. At least, not that I'm aware of. Our commanding officer told us that before he returned to Earth.

Evinrude: Response

Shortrith: I don't know if I can guarantee that, but I can try? I'm not usually one to open up about this type of thing.

oO I don't wanna disappoint him with how things ended. Oo

Evinrude: Response

Shortrith: I should be fine. I mean, I'm here now, aren't I?

Evinrude: Response

[Tags/TBC]

==

Ensign Renaie Shortrith

Assistant Counsellor

USS Ronin

They/Them (Player) They/She (Character)

A240204RS3