Lieutenant (J.G.) Etan Iljor - ...In Mysterious Ways

[Michael Meir-Wright]

OOC: I have expanded the story that Iljor relates to Dwich. It’s adds a little more flavour but it does alter the established events whatsoever.

((Molly Malone’s Irish Pub, Deep Space 224))

Iljor listened as Dwich described the crossroads that he had come to on the path laid out for him by The Prophets. Having found himself at one himself, the science officer had not stopped to consider that there might be others struck with indecision. He finally understood why the evening had brought him to Molly Malone’s: to learn that truth. The Prophets truly did work in mysterious ways.

Hamsan: Before I joined Starfleet, I was in training to join the religious order at the Kaiett Monastery in Dakhur Province. But that was a long time ago. ::beat:: In Yurba’s, there’s one verse I can’t get out of my head. “If thou canst love thyself, how canst thou love somebody else?” It’s making me wonder if we’re doing the right thing.

He had not known Dwich for very long, but he felt comfortable in the man’s presence. Yet, now he felt awkward since he was now being made privy to the man’s innermost feelings in regards to Meidra, who had quickly become Iljor’s best friend aboard the Resolution. At the same time, a memory crept to the surface of his thoughts: his grandmother tucking him into bed at night as a small child and telling him his favourite story. As he sat at the table and thought on what Dwich was saying, he belatedly realised that his grandmother’s story could help him.

Etan: Reading prophecy is fundamental. It is part and parcel of our spiritual lives. But there comes a point when sometimes we just have to follow our hearts, rather than the tenets laid out for us. To me, the teachings are a guide but not a roadmap that we must follow to the letter. ::beat:: My grandmother spent some time as a young woman considering the same thing that you did: joining the clergy. But she said it never felt right for her. When she met my grandfather, she was torn about whether to give up the order- something her mother had always wanted for her- or whether to marry my grandfather. The alternative was to spend her life in silent seclusion at the Vadawan Monastery.

His grandmother had told him the story so many times that even decades later, he could recite it word for word. It had become so imprinted upon him that it felt as though he himself had lived through the experience. He could hear the chimes of the monastery, the prayers of the ranjens and the calmness of the air. The details came to him easily and flowed from his mouth like a stream of gently babbling water.

Hamsan: What did she do?

Etan: This was during the early days of the Occupation and the Vedek Assembly was forced to hide the Orbs from the Cardassians- the one’s that were not looted by them, of course. She couldn’t have an Orb Experience. She turned to the scriptures but found them confusing and contradictory. In the end she spoke to Vedek Vehsajj who told her of a passage from Yalar’s New Insights which reads “One must not be sabotaged by the saboteur from within.” At first she didn’t understand, but then it came to her: her indecision was hurting both the Order and my grandfather. She had to make a choice- and wanting to follow her own path, not the one her mother expected her to walk, she left the seminary and married my grandfather.

The irony was not lost on Iljor. Here he sat with Dwich, urging him to make a decision or risk an unhappy future- all the while he himself was unable to bring himself to make his own resolution. He felt like a hypocrite.

Hamsan: But how does one know? How did your grandmother know? I love Meidra, but I still dream about joining a religious order. I don’t know how to reconcile those two things.

Iljor smiled kindly before taking a sip of the Cream Ale. It was not altogether unpleasant- but he likely not order another any time soon. Whatever drew Aine to the beverages of her homeland was clearly lost on the two Bajoran men.

Etan: My point is: ask yourself how you feel about Meidra. I think you’ll find the answer is that which makes you the happiest. oO And yet, here I am trying to make a decision that will result in no happy ending. Either way, I risk upsetting and losing my parents. Oo

Dwich did not reply straight away and Iljor recognised the thoughtful look writ large on the medical technician’s face.

Hamsan: I wonder if she would still want to be with me if I- ::beat:: if I left Starfleet after my four years are up and joined the clergy. ::begins to think out loud.:: Not in a contemplative or cloistered order, one where she could come with me, maybe teaching or caring for the poor. With my medical training, I could do a lot of good in one of the cities. Ashalla, maybe. Or Talmulna.

The depth at which Dwich had clearly thought about his choice surprised Iljor and it took a moment to gather his thoughts together. The idea of Meidra not being aboard the Resolution was a strange one- she seemed to be the heart and the soul of the vessel, arrests notwithstanding. Pushing that to the side, something occurred to him.

Etan: Who says that you have to return to Bajor? There are temples and seminaries all over the Alpha Quadrant, ever since the Diaspora during the Occupation. ::beat:: There’s one on Vulcan that I visited shortly after I joined the crew. There are more options than you might think. But this is something, you’d have to work through with Meidra.

Dwich seemed to come back to himself, as though he had taken leave as he thought.

Hamsan: I guess sharing quarters is such a big step, that it’s caused me to rethink everything about my life. I didn’t realise when I asked her that all this would come up.

Etan: The Prophets do move in mysterious ways. ::he replied, with a small smile.::

Hamsan: But I don’t think I’m the only one.

The man stared into his beer and Iljor frowned, unsure of what Dwich meant.

Etan: The only one, what?

Hamsan: I think she’s hiding something from me. Something that she thinks would change the way I feel about her if I found out.

Over the course of their friendship, Iljor had come to realise that Meidra was an intensely private person who didn’t open up about many things. Not that she pushed people away, but there was a guard that she was unwilling to drop. Iljor had never pushed the issue, figuring that when she was ready- she would let others in. Instead, her focus had been to help everyone around her. She had a great deal of compassion and affection for others, but now for the first time, he wondered whether she helped others so she did not need to address something in her own life or her own past.

He remembered the strange and frightening appearance of her grandfather on the station who had brandished a ceremonial knife at her, clearly intent on ending her life. She had brushed it off at the time as the ravings of a senile old man and Iljor had accepted that. Had there been more to it than that?

Etan: What makes you say that? ::he asked after a short silence.::

Hamsan: I don’t know. ::beat, suddenly realises:: And this isn’t me trying to prise it out of you, Iljor. Honestly, I would never want to exploit the confidence between friends. I just wish she believed that nothing could change the way I feel about her and even if the Prophets don’t intend for us to walk the same path forever, she can at least be herself with me in the here and now.

Iljor sat back on the stool and took another sip of ale, nodding to himself as he digested Dwich’s words. From his position as an outsider to their relationship, Dwich and Meidra looked made for one another. They made one another happy. With that said, it was dawning on him that there were secrets on both sides of the relationship that needed to be brought into the light and addressed if they were to continue on the road that the Prophets had laid for them. Meidra might not be a follower or a believer of the Way of the Prophets- but she had her own values and her own beliefs as a child of two worlds.

Etan: Meidra is half El-Aurian, Dwich. She’s from a race of listeners- and she’s also half-Vulcan. She believes in logic and wisdom and all that comes along with it. Take the fact that she’s a counselor out of the equation for the moment. She’s going to listen to you whatever you say and she will approach any challenge with a rational, level head. ::he thought momentarily of her arrest months earlier. She wasn’t level headed then, but alcohol had been involved so Iljor wasn’t sure that counted?::

Hamsan: Response.

Iljor leaned forward, looking over the rim of his pint glass.

Etan: You can’t move forward while all this is left unaddressed and you can’t be sure of what you want until you talk to her about how you feel about joining the clergy. I guess what I’m getting at is that you…. you need to talk to Meidra. ::he repeated himself for emphasis, even if it felt a little redundant.::

Which was exactly what Iljor realised that he also needed to do. She was his best friend- the one person on the Resolution that he trusted above all others. If there was anyone who could help him with his own next step- it was her. The thought frightened him somewhat- still reluctant to confide in others- but he felt a strong sense of clarity from somewhere, as if the Prophets themselves were giving him a sign.

Hamsan: Response.

It occurred to him that there had been another reason for Them leading him to Molly Malone’s that evening: not just to help Dwich, but to help himself.

Yes, the Prophets truly did move in mysterious ways.

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End Scene For Etan

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Lieutenant (J.G.) Etan Iljor

Science Officer

U.S.S. Resolution

C239203TW0