JP Yogan Yalu & Meidra Sirin — One's only rival is one's own potentialities, Part 1
jkpbem
(( Counselor’s Office, Deck 2, USS Resolution ))
It was late, definitely past the hour when Meidra would have held office hours, but Yogan had tossed and turned in his quarters long enough. He needed to talk. Fortunately, she’d agreed to meet him, and in no more time than it took to change into a uniform, he was walking through the doors into her office.
Yalu: Hello, Meidra. ::points to the replicator, grins:: Are you serving at this hour?
Meidra grinned in reply, she was happy to see her friend at any hour. She motioned towards her replicator, bowing slightly to him in a show of humor.
Sirin: For you, the bar is always open.
Yalu: I’ll have a glurtch, if you don’t mind.
Sirin: Have a seat, I’ll get it for you.
Yogan sat down in his favorite chair in Meidra’s office. She wasn’t a fan of the Tiburonian beverage, so chose some kava juice. Sitting down, she handed him his drink, and took a sip of her own.
Yalu: Thanks for making time for me. I know I could have made an appointment with that junior counselor of yours—what’s his name? Spandex? Shoebox? Smallpox?
Meidra rolled her eyes, Yogan was famously bad with names, although confusing the Bolian counselor with a communicable disease didn’t seem too far off from truth.
Sirin: Sornax.
Yalu: ::chuckles:: Yes. Sornax, of course. ::beat:: But I feel like I would have spent the entire hour filling him in about me and all the things you and I have discussed over the past year. I just wanted to get to the point.
Knowing Sornax, Yogan would be interrogated, diagnosed, and sent on his way without anything being resolved. She settled back into her chair and nodded at him to proceed. There was a trace of something - odd - in the air, and she hoped that she was imagining it.
Sirin: Always a good way to begin.
Yalu: Also, I trust you. I know you’ll tell me the unvarnished truth.
Sirin: ::smirks:: Not everyone admires that about me, but… continue.
Yogan indeed admired that about Meidra. Truth was not always easy to hear, but she had the ability to sense when it was necessary, and give specific, actionable suggestions for how to proceed.
Yalu: I don’t know how much you and Genkos compare notes, but I’m having a medical issue, and it’s starting to cause a psychological one. ::beat:: With Genkos in command and me– ::beat:: well, with responsibilities, it doesn’t feel right to bother him with my problems right now.
Despite his somewhat oblique reference, Yogan’s responsibilities as acting first officer were weighing heavily and centrally on his mind. Primary among them was his duty to carry out the decisions of the captain, to wit: one Lieutenant Commander Genkos Adea, M.D. Sitting next to him in the command chairs at the center of the bridge was exhilarating, but made him realize that the relationship between the two officers was different now, at least for the duration of the mission. Of course, Dr. Morgan was still working in Sickbay, and was a capable and trustworthy physician, but Genkos was Yogan’s GP, the primary instigator of research into his condition, and he was presently occupied with his own, suddenly new responsibilities.
After checking with Yogan for permission, Genkos had shared his notes with the counselor, hoping that Meidra could advise him. She had been planning to invite the Trill helmsman in for a session, but should have realized Yogan’s practical side would compel him to seek her out.
Sirin: I will do my best to assist you. How can I help?
There was so much Yogan wanted to say about the memories and emotions turbulently rolling around inside his head, but they would get to that in short order. Best to start at the beginning.
Yalu: Do you remember our mission to the Briar Patch?
Sirin: ::nods:: A most unforgettable mission.
Yalu: That planet really messed me up, Meidra. Something about the energy field, or the Skarn themselves–– ::beat:: it disrupted the balance between host and symbiont.
This was unexpected. The Joining was orchestrated to bring two beings into a harmonious relationship only broken by death. If something was affecting this bond it could prove dangerous to both parties. She hoped her expression was still neutral, but she was concerned.
Sirin: Disrupted? In what way?
Yogan bit his lip, struggling to find the words to articulate what was happening to him. He wondered whether Meidra’s participation in his zhian’tara ceremony, embodying one of his hosts in the process, might make it easier for her to understand. But zhian’tara was the exception rather than the rule. Drawing out one host to interact with was possible, but neither common nor necessarily encouraged. The whole point of Symbiosis was for the collected knowledge and memories of the past hosts to exceed the sum of their parts. To exist in balance, to the mutual benefit of the new host and the symbiont.
Yalu: It’s hard to explain, but ever since we crash landed there, I’ve been having memory problems. The memories of my past hosts are inconsistent, coming and going. Sometimes, the memories of one overwhelm the others, and me. Sometimes, they’re all just blurry shadows in the back of my mind. ::beat:: It’s disorienting, and it’s not getting better.
Sirin: This has never happened before?
Yalu: No. And, honestly, if the Symbiosis Commission knew about it, they’d want me to come back home. Genkos promised to continue his research and find a more permanent solution, but he’s the captain now.
Meidra pondered this information. Genkos had said Yogan’s isoboramine levels had been fluctuating over the last few months. Regular injections of benzocyatizine had been administered, but it was a temporary fix to a larger problem. She wasn’t a doctor, but her studies in exobiology told her that a better solution would have to be found soon.
Sirin: Do you feel more like the previous hosts are…hiding from you? Or lost?
Yogan sputtered again, words escaping him. It was always hard to explain the nature of Symbiosis to a non-Trill, even one as intellectually and emotionally intelligent as Meidra. He’d once heard a Human describe it as “like being at a party with a bunch of other people, all of whom are talking over each other, and the host must selectively listen and isolate parts of the conversation in turn.” This was a woeful oversimplification. Symbiosis wasn’t just endless dinner party chit-chat, it was a fundamental transformation, a rebirth of the host as a completely new individual.
Yalu: ::nods:: I feel like parts of me are missing. I’m not myself anymore. The longer it goes on, the more— ::beat:: alone I feel. I’ve been Joined for almost seven years, Meidra. Those memories belong to me, they belong within me. Without them, I’m— ::trails off, unsure of what to say::
Meidra didn’t like where this was going. If they couldn’t figure this out soon, her friend would be lost to them, the symbiote removed for its own protection. And Yogan would be….
She would not allow this, not if there was a way to prevent it. She reached out and held his large hands in her own. Looking into his eyes, she willed him to believe her words.
Sirin: We will figure this out. And don’t worry about pulling Genkos into this - he would never allow anything to prevent him from caring for a member of our family.
Yogan was grateful for Meidra’s unfailing support, and he knew she meant it. Her care for the crew of Resolution went beyond professional concern. Calling them a “family” was not an exaggeration.
Yalu: Well, speaking of Genkos— ::beat:: This whole thing couldn’t be more inconveniently timed.
Sirin: What do you mean?
The name of tonight’s game was reluctance. Yogan trusted Meidra as a friend and as a professional counselor. He knew there was nothing he couldn’t tell her; that wasn’t it. But his late-night call to Captain Piruzian when Excalibur was on leave at Bajor still shadowed him. He was embarrassed.
TBC
Lt. Commander Yogan Yalu
Helm Officer
USS Resolution NCC-78145
Justin D238804DS0
and
Lt Meidra SirinCounseling Officer
USS Resolution
R239707MS0