JP Lt JG Meidra Sirin & Lt JG Yogan Yalu - The (not so) lonely trip back Part 2
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(( Counselor’s Office, Deck 2, USS Resolution ))
Sirin: I’ll admit that I’m curious why this ritual has you so apprehensive. You’re one of the most level headed people I’ve ever known. And you knew of this ritual long before now.
Yalu: I always knew it was coming, but I just hoped we could do it here on Resolution, or Vulcan, or Ancient Egypt, for all I care. Going back home to do it is what I’m most anxious about. Part of it is my own fault for avoiding my family so shamelessly all these years. It would have been easier if I hadn’t let so much time pass.
Yogan turned his gaze to the ceiling and scratched his beard in a moment of silent contemplation.
Yalu: Do you believe that things happen for a reason, Meidra?
The counselor considered the question, letting the dialogue drift off for a few moments. Philosophical questions were never her strong suit, but she did consider them when asked.
Sirin: ::speaking slowly:: Logic dictates that we may convince ourselves they do, if only to eliminate feelings of powerlessness when things are out of our control. Do you believe there is a reason for all that happens?
Yalu: I never did. It seemed like something people said to comfort themselves when things didn’t go their way. But I feel like all of these different parts of my life are on a converging course toward each other, and it’s hard to imagine it all happening at random.
Sirin: And do you think things would have been easier if you’d gone home sooner to re-establish contact with your family?
It was difficult to discuss, mostly because Yogan carried a fair amount of guilt about his self-imposed absence, but also because the issues within his family weren’t easily fixable, which made talking about them feel somewhat pointless.
Meidra could feel the sadness radiate from the helmsman, and reached over to squeeze his hand briefly. She’d found that he seemed to take comfort in small gestures, and wanted him to remember that though they were in a session, she was still his friend.
Yalu: My mother isn’t well. She needs round-the-clock care. She and my father separated, and he started his life over somewhere else, with someone else. My brother dropped off the face of the planet completely when he became a Guardian, and I’m serving in Starfleet, which leaves my sister at home caring for our mother and dealing with our father.
Sirin: I see. Have you asked your sister how she feels about any of this?
Yalu: I took your advice from a few months back and wrote to her about it. She keeps telling me that I’m worrying over nothing, and that she’s fine. I don’t believe her. I just wish I could do something to make up for everything that went wrong, that she’d forgive me for not being a better brother.
Sirin: There is always the possibility that there is nothing to forgive.
Yogan felt Meidra’s support, both as a professional and as his friend, her gentle gesture of squeezing his hand meant the world to him.
Yalu: I just feel like there’s so much we need to work through, but I worry that we will just avoid it like we always do.
Sirin: Family can be a help or a hindrance, Yogan. Do you want them to avoid this ritual?
Yogan hesitated, even though he knew the answer. More than anything, like any son or daughter, he wanted his family to be proud of him and share in the important moments of his life. It was just difficult to say out loud, because of all the baggage that came with it.
Yalu: I want my family to be involved. This is such an important part of my life, and I don’t want to exclude them from it.
Sirin: Then perhaps you should trust them to be there for you.
Yalu: You’re right. I think it is worth the risk. ::takes a deep breath:: And I hope I might be able to count on the support of some friends when it’s time. Friends like you.
Sirin: Of course I will support you, what would you ask of me?
The formal tone she used was not one Meidra often chose as it reminded her of her years living at her grandfather’s estate. But something in the way he spoke told her how important this conversation was to him.
Yalu: I was hoping you might be willing to embody one of my former hosts during the ritual.
Meidra was speechless. Was he really telling her that he found her worthy to share in such an important event? She felt another wall she had built to keep people out fall to the ground, but she barely noticed as she found her voice. She took a cleansing breath and smiled.
Sirin: That is a very high honor, Yogan. Should it not be extended to those you share a longer history with?
Yalu: You’re not just my counsellor. We’ve become friends, and zhian’tara is an experience best shared with those close to me.
Friends. Meidra wasn’t sure when she’d had anyone describe her as such besides her krei, Alieth. A warm, peaceful feeling came over her, and she realized it was gratitude. She bit her lower lip to keep tears from filling her eyes and nodded at him, letting only a trace of emotion tinge her speech.
Sirin: In that case, I accept the gift you give me with this request.
Yogan stood and stretched, the joints in his knees cracking after being stationary for so long.
Yalu: Thank you, Meidra. I am honoured you want to be a part of this.
Impulsively, she gave the tall Trill a hug, stepping back to let him leave the office before she burst into tears. A voice in her head tried saying the usual dark admonishments, but she ignored them to smile again at her friend.
Sirin: You are most welcome, Yogan. I look forward to learning more of this ritual and sharing it with you.
Lt JG Meidra Sirin
Counseling officer
USS Resolution
R239707MS0
Lieutenant JG Yogan Yalu
Helm Officer
USS Resolution NCC-78145
D238804DS0