((Twenty one hours earlier - S'th'gee Clan Household, Grand Oasis, outskirts of Chi-ree, Xial, Vulcan))
T’Mihn: You should drink some tea. I shall get you more.
She left the room and Meidra hurriedly showed Ikaia the proof that T’Mihn had been mentally ill for at least a decade, signed by the matriarch’s personal physician. There was also a file sent to Meidra’s PADD showing that the healer had disappeared soon after the prognosis, with T’Vel’s assertion that he’d been silenced.
Sirin: We need to find that scroll. A copy on my PADD will not hold up in a court of Vulcan law. T’Mihn is a danger to herself and others. We need to get her to tell us where that proof is….and I think Commander Teller is going to help us do it.
Ikaia was trying really hard to track on. This was important. Really important. He had to at least TRY to sober up.
Wong: Hold…. ::Hic!:: hold on.
Sirin: What are you going to….
The next thing Ikaia did was both comedic and shocking. He slapped himself as hard as he drunkenly could. The sound of skin slapping against skin reverberated throughout the room. Ikaia yelped at slapping himself. He rubbed his cheek.
Wong: Ugh…. that hurt. ::Hic!:: Okay…. Okay…. So what do you want me to…. To do?
Sirin: Turn Teller’s head on.
Wong: I… I can do that. Just point me in the right spot.
Sirin: You’re already here, Ikaia.
Wong: No…. I meant…. ::Hic!:: ughh…. I meant literally point me in the right spot. Everything is soooo wobbly….. ::Hic!::
Meidra may have sworn under her breath.
Sirin: Alieth, you owe me much for this mess.
Ikaia stumbled around for a moment until he was in the right direction. He fell to the floor with a drunken flop.
Wong: Wow….. even the…. The floors are comfy.
Sirin: I’m sure T’Mihn will be pleased you think so.
Ikaia lazily pulled the PADD from his back. Without getting up from the floor, he started uploading the Flying Head program into the nearest holographic emitter.
Wong: Pff-ha! This is… ::Hic!:: going to be soooo hilarious. What effect will…. Will this have?
Sirin: We’re going to scare her into telling us where that medical report is.
Wong: Oh…. is this…. ethical?
Sirin: The Vulcan High Council decides what is ethical. We’re just helping them by giving them something to debate.
Wong: Vulcan rules are ::Hic! Uggh…..:: weird. And I sooo… ::Hic!:: need a cure for these hiccups….
Sirin: Imagine T’Mihn finding us before we get Teller up and running. Now hurry.
Ikaia finally finished uploading his Flying Head program before shoving the PADD back in his bag. He drunkenly rolled on his back on the floor. He held his arm up and gave a VERY wobbly thumbs up.
Wong: Tell….. Teller is…. Activated. Ha! Pfffffff…. This is going to be soooo much fuuuunn….! The Flying Head should come up any minute now…..
Meidra could hear T’Mihn coming back.
Sirin: Get up off the floor, Ikaia.
Wong: Ugh… do I have to get up….? ::Hic!::
Wong: She’s coming back… ::Hic!:: is… isn’t she?
Sirin: She is. Make sure you get that head to say what we agreed upon.
Ikaia pushed himself up off the floor as best as he could. He wobbled his way back to his seat and flopped down.
Wong: Whooooa….. The room is spinning. Is this a… a …. A… trick room?
Sirin: It will be, if you get that head to work.
Horrifying sounds began to emanate from the holographic projectors. Ikaia was grinning like an idiot. This was already amusing for him in his inebriated state. The sound was getting louder and eventually it became a voice.
Teller the Flying Head: My nawme iws Commandew Tewwer awnd I wove uwu!
Ikaia was grinning some more.
Wong: It’s…. It’s like the bestest…. Right?
Sirin: It’s like being with the actual human. Well done.
Ikaia laughed-snorted as he flopped back in his seat. Oh he was so ready for this show!
Wong: I had to…. ::Hic!:: had to do this for effect. Oh…. sounds like she…. She’s on her way back….
Sirin: Stand up straight and try not to vomit.
Well…. He was TRYING to stand up straight. The poor Klingon was still just far too tipsy and sloshed to be able to do ANYTHING straight.
Wong: I’m not…. Not gonna throw up again…. I already did… did…. Did that once. Made my mouth taste weird….. Not fun….
And yet when he did that, he was STILL attempting to drink that Vulcan guard under the table as if his drunken self learned exactly NOTHING from the experience.
Sirin: ::innocently:: You seem tired. Perhaps we should take our leave.
T’Mihn: We have much more to discuss.
As if on cue, the room began to fill with an eerie mist. It filtered out into the air and poured itself over every surface. Meidra tried to not roll her eyes at the theatrics.
T’Mihn: What is happening?
Wong: Whaaat….? I see nothing…..
Of course, it was EASY to play stupid when he was drunk out of his mind.
Sirin: Have you slept lately? You’re looking a bit pale.
T’Mihn: I tell you there is something in this room with us!
As if on cue, something began forming in the mist. Bright glowing yellow eyes cut through it like a knife. There was the sound of ominous giggling.
Wong: I…. I…. ::Hic!:: … don’t hear anything….
Sirin: There is nothing to hear.
Finally, the shape got clearer. It looked more like a giant head. It moved through the mist towards T’Mihn. By the time it finally sliced through the mist, the head and its identity was fully revealed. Sitting in front of T’Mihn was an 8 foot head of Commander Teller. The ginger haired officer was grinning from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat. His eyes continued to glow as he continued moving forward.
Teller the Flying Head: Hewwo, T'Mihn. I missed uwu. Did uwu miss me? Youw favouwite?
Ikaia took all his will power just to avoid laughing. Instead, what came out was a barely concealed snort. Meidra looked over at the matriarch with a bland expression learned from numerous diplomatic meetings she’d attended on Resolution.
Sirin: Is something wrong?
There was a sudden shift in tone from the Flying Head. Something far more ominous sounding.
Teller the Flying Head: You’ve been a bad girl, Minnie! You know your head isn’t on straight and that’s why you stole mine!
T’Mihn:What do you want, demon?
Teller the Flying Head: Confess. Give these children the scroll you hide. Write out a confession that you tried to kill these officers. Do it now…. or your head might be pulled off like mine!
Ikaia’s hands flew up to his mouth. He was grinning from ear to ear.
Wong: Ooooo… Meidra, she thinks she… she sees a demon.
Sirin: If she means you, I might agree.
T’Mihn: Leave this place, demon!
Teller the Flying Head: Give them their proof!
Wong: Pfff! I don’t see a….. demon. Do you see….. One?
Sirin: I see a very agitated old woman, and a drunk ::hiccup:: Klingon.
T’Mihn: Can’t you both see it? It’s a demon.
Wong: There’s…. There’s no such things as…. Ghosts or demons…. Or supernatural boogie woogie….. It’s all in your head the whole time! ::Hic!:: So…. so…. So….. what are you talking about, Mrs. T’Mihn…..?
T’Mihn: You brought this… creature into my home. ::jumps on Ikaia’s back attempting a nerve pinch::
Sirin: Let him go!
She jumped to the Klingon’s defense as the spry old woman was spun around on her friend’s back. Ikaia was screaming and Meidra had had quite enough. She reached for T’Mihn, pulling her hand back when she realized she’d felt sharp teeth. The old woman screamed as the giant head came closer, opening his large jaws to show hundreds of rows of teeth.
T’Mihn: Fine! ::runs to desk, writing a confession:: Take it, just get out of my home.
Both scrolls were thrust into Meidra’s hands as the head started to sputter. The old woman glared, realization dawning. She advanced on our heroes, malice in every step.
T’Mihn: Was this a trick? Guards!
Sirin:: :: pulls Ikaia to the door:: And this…::hiccup:: is where we leave you, old girl!
Ikaia may have had talent in holographic programming. But that talent only went so far while he was drunk. His ability to catch and squash bugs in the code was at best a bit dodgy. So it came as no shock that the Giant Flying Head was starting to give out. He felt himself being yanked to the door by Sirin.
Wong: The tea was lovely…. By the…. By the way! Thank you…..! ::Waving at T’Mihn::
Sirin: Run, Ikaia.
Ikaia was further dragged outside towards well… a destination to say the least. He really wasn’t sure what was up and what was down at this point. He just knew he was running SOMEWHERE with Sirin.
Wong: Awww…. She was batty and…. Mean…. We should sooooo visit again. She cured my hiccups……!
Sirin: Alieth owes me a thousand debts for this.
Ikaia was still running. It looked like they were heading towards a building of some sort. The sound of Vulcan guards running behind them was unsettling. Their feet pounding against the sand. Ikaia started to get the vague idea that they were…
Wong: Oh…. we’re in a lot of trouble, aren’t we…..?
Sirin: Only if they catch us.
Wong: Where are we going…. What are we doing…..?
Sirin: Less questions, more running!
Somewhere, in Ikaia’s mind, he felt like Meidra wasn’t running fast enough. They needed to get inside that building for some reason. So Ikaia did only the most logical thing his drunken mind could come up with. He scooped up Sirin bridal style and hoofed it towards the building.
Wong: See….? MUCH FASTER!
Regrettably, his breath reeked of alcohol from a night’ s worth of drinking. But he was, at least, light on his feet still when a fire was lit under him. He moved quickly across the yard.
Sirin:.I swear if you vomit on me, I will hurt you.
Wong: Aaah! Please don’t… don’t hurt me…!
Ikaia busted through the door to the building only to discover that it was a garage with a yellow racer parked in the middle of it. A getaway car.
Wong: I…. I don’t…. I don’t think I can drive…. I see two of you in my arms…. And I sooooo know there’s not two of you…. Otherwise I’d have to admit I have…. Four arms…..!
Ikaia finally put Sirin down. He unsteadily made his way over to the passenger’s side and slumped in the seat. Meidra checked the mirrors and revved the engine. Hopefully her cousin had corrected the passenger door adequately. She didn’t need Ikaia flying out of the yellow demon car.
Sirin: Hang on, this is going to be a bumpy ride.
Ikaia held up a finger as if he were trying to mimic a starship captain. It was a terrible mimic as he wobbled around with a stupid grin on his face. He pointed to the garage door.
Wong: Yellow car…. Engage! Maximum warp….!
His arms flopped down in front of him as he sat back in his seat.
Sirin: The things I do for family.
And with that, the garage door was flung open and the bright yellow racer peeled out of there as if it were chased by the Borg. It wasn’t long before the clan household was nothing but an angry speck in the distance.
((End of flashback))
Lieutenant JG Ikaia Wong