JP Lt. JG Yogan Yalu & Lt. JG Meidra Sirin — The (not-so) lonely trip back, part I
jkpbem
(( Counselor’s Office, Deck 2, USS Resolution ))
Yogan had arrived at the Counselor’s office feeling a mixture of emotions, which he hoped she could help him sort through. Their conversation thus far had touched on a range of topics–his career, the recent mission and its denouement, even a couple of his former hosts’ experiences that he felt he wanted to work through–all of which helped prepare him to discuss the one thing that weighed most on his mind.
Meidra wouldn’t say it aloud, but she enjoyed her sessions with Yogan, they had become friends, and had many things in common. He was one of the few members of the crew who she felt a rapport with, and valued his insight on things ranging from medical studies to books that they both enjoyed.
She leaned back in her chair, enjoying the story he was now relating.
Yalu: And I remember saying to my son Rajim, “I may have taught you how to weave, but I’m also your mother, and I’m not going to let you sell the first thing you’ve ever made at a street market.” We argued about it for days. ::chuckling:: I never thought much about children, but with all of these memories of fatherhood and motherhood, it’s something I can’t help daydreaming about from time to time.
Meidra looked up from the notes she was taking to stare at her friend. A bit of surprise colored her words as she paused to gather her thoughts.
Sirin: Have you been thinking it’s time to start a family? I mean, there isn’t anything wrong if you are, of course.
Yalu: ::shaking his head:: I don’t know if I’m cut out for it. ::beat:: But it is a convenient way of bringing up another thing I wanted to discuss with you. I’ll be going home soon to participate in that ritual ceremony I told you about, zhian’tara. Some of my family will be involved, and it will be the first time we’ve all been together for a long time.
The counselor knew all about contentious reunions with family. She bit her lip to keep herself from expounding on the many reasons one should keep them at arm's length. She cleared her throat, focused now on her next question.
Sirin: Do you expect confrontations with your relatives?
Yalu: Not exactly. I am just worried that some of our unfinished business will end up overshadowing what is supposed to be a powerful, transformative experience in the life of a Joined Trill.
Sirin: I recall you mentioned your brother had become a Guardian. Is this some of the unfinished business you are referring to?
Meidra sensed some hesitation in him, and smiled encouragingly at Yogan as he thought about his answer. He usually couldn’t stop talking, so to see him take such care with his words made her pay more attention to his overall mood.
Yalu: That is a big part of it. The Guardian who will perform the ritual contacted me. Turns out my brother is his apprentice, and now it looks like Neddo will be involved in my zhian’tara, too. ::sighs:: I had hoped I could keep these two areas of my life separate, but that doesn’t seem possible anymore.
Sirin: May I ask why you would want to keep parts of your life separate from one another? ::pause:: I’m not an expert on joining, but I would think that you’d have integrated both worlds into one by now.
Yalu: That’s a good point. It’s hard to explain to a non-Trill. ::pauses to take a deep breath:: Being Joined is a privilege and an honour that really has no parallel in my society. Thousands of people apply every year, only a handful make it through the Initiate Program and are joined to a symbiont, and I did. When I was an Initiate, my supervisors warned me about how families sometimes react after a relative is Joined: envy, resentment, even grief that their loved one is no longer the same person.
Yogan bit his lip as he thought about his experiences with his family shortly after being joined. He had been the recipient of all three.
Yalu: They were never happy for me, not really. I wanted to be Joined more than anything, and if I could go back and do it all again, I would. ::beat:: I always said I would have sacrificed anything to be Joined. I just didn’t realize that, at least as far as my family is concerned, I did.
Meidra thought about it. As a hybrid, she often slid into being more in tune with her Vulcan heritage while in a professional capacity, then more relaxed when around people she trusted. Still, Yogan was a very strong person, not prone to self doubt. She sipped her tea and her lips twisted into a wry grin.
Yalu: My father applied when he was younger and was rejected. My mother was kept from senior positions in the Diplomatic Corps because she was unjoined. My brother is a brilliant poet, but feels that his accomplishments are diminished because of me. And my sister got the worst of my family’s dysfunction because I wasn’t around to protect her. ::beat:: And now, I have to go back and face all of that just to do zhian’tara.
TBC
Lieutenant JG Yogan Yalu
Helm Officer
USS Resolution NCC-78145
Justin
D238804DS0
Lt JG Meidra Sirin
Counseling officer
USS Resolution
R239707MS0