Lieutenant (J.G.) Etan Iljor - The Hour Of The Wolf

[Michael Meir-Wright]

((CMO’s Office, Deck 2, U.S.S. Resolution))

Iljor had not realised that he had been so transparent. In the span of seconds, Doctor Adea had picked up on the tenor of his emotions- and not by virtue of his telepathic abilities (of that, Iljor was sure). Evidently, the young science officer had been wandered the corridor of the Resolution with a metaphorical black cloud hanging over his head. He had not realised until that moment that his malaise had been so obvious and it made him wonder whether there were others aboard ship who had noticed just as Adea had done. Had he become neglectful of his duties and unprofessional in his conduct?

Realising that his mouth was hanging open in surprise, he drew a breath in through his nostrils and closed it. While he did not feel that it was yet time to confront the accusations levied against his parents by the Cardassian whistleblower Jirall, he knew that he could not shoulder their burden alone. If his personal life was now beginning to interfere with his professionalism, then the hour of reckoning was drawing closer- much closer than he had previously thought.

He breathed out and with it came a measure of clarity and serenity. He did not know Genkos Adea well enough as he might have liked to, so confiding in him seemed to be out of the question, but there were still ways to ask for advice: he just had to circumspect.

Etan: Do you mind if I ask you a question, Doctor?

The Betazoid leaned back, stretching both arms out behind him till his hands met at the back of his head. The smile that he gave Iljor was warm and pleasant and it served to relax him.

Adea: Of course you can, Iljor.

Iljor took several seconds to choose his words carefully.

Etan: If you were given information about somebody that you held in high regard - and that information had the potential to completely alter your perception of that perception - and not in a good way- what would you do with it?

Iljor saw Adea’s brows knit together into a frown that marred the youthful physician’s visage. As he leaned forward, Adea made an odd sound from the back of his throat and then looked Iljor in the eye. For a moment, the Bajoran wondered if he had crossed a line, but when the reply came he knew that was not the case.

Adea: What are the options we’re discussing here?

Etan: Would you choose to ignore it and put your faith in that person or would you confront them with the information and ask them about it?

The idea of doing the latter terrified Iljor and he suppressed the urge to shudder. Humans, ever a curious species, sometimes referred to the small hours of a morning as ‘the hour of the wolf’- a time when one’s darkest and saddest fears came to the surface of their thoughts, tormenting them over and over until one had no choice but to confront them. Since returning from Trill, Iljor had been living in the hour of the wolf and the time to decide on his next course of action was drawing ever closer.

For several moments, Doctor Adea seemed to be somewhere else. His eyes took on an unfocused and glassy expression as though his mind had travelled to another location entirely. When his expression stretched on into an uncomfortable amount of time he wondered if he should fetch a nurse or call out the CMO’s name- but then, just like that, he seemed to return to reality.

Adea: I know *precisely* what you’re talking about Iljor. For most of my life, I was merely an empath, which is tantamount to a disability on my planet. I found out almost by accident that I wasn’t born that way. I was, and now am, a full telepath. But my father had suppressed my powers to cover a huge mistake that he had made.

Iljor blinked- suddenly alert- straightened in his chair. While the description was somewhat vague, he could tell that there were similarities between their two stories. In both cases, a parent had acted to cover up something from their past to stop their children (and in Iljor’s case, the rest of Bajor) from learning the truth.

Etan: What did you do? ::he asked, perhaps a little more eagerly than he had anticipated.::

Adea: I confronted him, and found something much, much worse in return. But ::he raised a finger::, I don’t regret. In the long run, it all worked out for the best; I am happier and telepathic, my mother is happily ensconced with another man, and my father is rotting in the prison he deserves.

Iljor sat back in the chair and ruminated on the Doctor’s tale. The idea that everything would work out for the best in his case did not seem possible. His parents stood accused of the multiple murders of innocent Cardassian refugees whose only crime had been following a forbidden religion. He could not see a way out of the situation that would ‘work out for the best’. His parents- if it was true- would likely spend the rest of their days in a Cardassian prison and the Vedek Assembly- the guiding light of Bajoran spirituality- would be implicated in a conspiracy to hide the truth. For the first time, Iljor considered that the implications would have ramifications beyond his familal unit. All of Bajor could be affected.

It was Adea’s voice that lifted Iljor from his unpleasant reverie.

Adea: It might be painful, and it is certainly not a feeling I would wish on anyone, but to rob a metaphor from my own profession; you should rip off that bandage as soon as you can. We’ll always be here for you Iljor, so you can count on us to pick up any pieces.

Iljor was touched by the Doctor’s declaration. In the months since his assignment to the Resolution, he had come to realise that the small but close-knit crew operated more as a family than as colleagues. He had already come to regard Meidra as the older sister he had never had and at times, Aine felt the impulsive cousin who got into scrapes with a grin on her face. Now Adea was offering his support- and that of the entire crew- in another gesture of compassion and care. 

He swallowed away the lump that had formed in his throat.

Etan: Thank you, Doct- Genkos. ::he said, with an emotional smile.::

Months earlier, on Vulcan, the CMO had insisted that Iljor call him by his given name when off-duty. While they might have been on duty at that particular moment, the gesture that Genkos had offered Iljor seemed intensely personal.

Adea: Response.

Etan: You’ve given me a great deal to think about.

It was true. There was much he had to consider, but strangely- the burden of those thoughts did not seem quite as black and as heavy as it had done when he had stepped into Sickbay. It occurred to Iljor that perhaps his subconscious had guided him to sickbay when he had been lost in his ruminations to seek out the Doctor.

Adea: Response.

He got to his feet, a grateful smile on his face.

Etan: No thank you. I had better start packing for the symposium. ::beat:: I always leave it till the last minute and then I usually forget something. ::he let out a light chuckle.::

Adea: Response.

He stopped at the threshold of Adea’s office and looked back, full of gratitude and admiration.

Etan: Thank you again, Doctor. You really have helped.

Adea: Response.

The reckoning was closer than ever. It would not be easy and the fire he would walk through would be unquestionably painful- but if he could make it out the other side, he knew he had a family to help him recover.

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End Scene For Etan

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Lieutenant (J.G.) Etan Iljor
Science Officer

U.S.S. Resolution

C239203TW0