((Deck 499 – Starlight Ballroom - Starbase 118 Ops))
She loathed the way her insecurity started pouring out of her - how pathetic it sounded. But if she didn’t say this now, she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and took a few shuddering breaths before she could speak again.
Voss: ::desperately trying to keep herself steady:: I could take no for an answer. I could. I’m sure I don’t seem strong enough, but I am. If you decide you don’t want this, I would understand.
His eyes widened.
Ross: What makes you feel like I don’t want this? I… I… - you know how I feel, you said it yourself!
Wasn’t that the bright side of dating a Betazoid? She must know about the way he had been clinging onto sanity ever since she had smiled at him for the first time. Even her siblings had known. The whole world seemed to know - except for her.
Voss: I know what you feel, but that isn’t enough. It’s not the feeling - it’s the choice. I’ll always know what you feel - all of it, the beautiful, the ugly, the petty and righteous, ridiculous and profound - but I don’t know what you’ll do with those feelings until you do it. So… ::her voice became small and brittle:: are we something worth mentioning? Or are we not?
For a moment he was lost for words. Ross opened his mouth, only to close it again - he was getting dizzy from all the countless thoughts and feelings spinning inside his head when his gaze found back into hers. Suddenly, it seemed the whole world around them had fallen silent. The laughter and chatter of the crowd died down and all he could see was her.
Ross: ::quietly:: Of course we are. Of course. That’s the whole point.
She’d been holding onto herself so tightly, trying with every fiber of her being to keep herself in check, but when she heard those words… the relief that surged through her was so powerful that she almost burst into tears. But she could tell that he had more to say, so she hung her head for a moment, trying to gather the turmoil and joy and keep them close a little longer. When she looked back up at him, there was a kind of miserable resignation on his face.
He grimaced a desperate smile, knowing he finally had to let go: If he wanted this, properly wanted this, it was time to give her the whole truth. He didn’t want to talk about T’Reyna. But there was no use in running from her anymore - at some point he would think of her anyways, and Lyra would know, she always did, and maybe, instead of hiding again, it was finally time to face this. He took a deep, painful breath.
Ross: You know - this is probably the worst timing to mention my ex, but - I mean, we’ve talked about yours, and… I feel like… anyways. ::he cut himself off:: The thing is, with her, I always kinda knew… there was nothing I could have said or done that would have changed anything. Heck, I have no idea how old she actually was, but you know Vulcans. ::he frowned:: They are always so… stoic. Always the same. She had fought in wars. She even had a child. And lost it. Can you imagine that pain? I certainly couldn’t. I always knew… ::he trailed off:: See, she liked me. But I always knew I would hardly ever be more than a footnote in her life. A chapter, maybe, if we had lasted longer.
Lyra wasn’t entirely sure what he was saying - by this point, both of their minds were a cacophony of racing thoughts and feelings.
Voss: And that’s… what you wanted? Someone… unmoveable? Because I can’t –
Ross: No, no, wait - let me finish. It wasn’t… like that. You know? Looking back, I think it was even pretty comfortable. The easy choice. Because I knew… there was no real responsibility, right? If I hadn’t reached out for a week she probably wouldn’t even have noticed. But you… you notice.
He squeezed her hand a little tighter, desperately hoping that he was getting his point across.
Her brows furrowed. Noticing… surely that was the bare minimum?
Voss: Of course I notice. That… that’s the least I could do..?
Ross: All this… it just feels… like the real deal, you know? It feels important. And that’s… freaking scary. But not because I don’t want this. I want this, Lyra, I really do. But also I’m… ::he stopped:: I’m just so afraid of messing this up. Because this time… it wouldn’t be a footnote. Not for me.
It would be so much more. Every time he looked at her, she mirrored his own feelings back at him. The realization that he had already fallen, head over heels, and that every misstep would inevitably lead to her waking up: For a moment he had to resist the urge to grab her by the shoulders and shake her. Wake up. You don’t want this. You can’t possibly want this. They could laugh and joke about cosmic doughnuts all they wanted - but in the end she had to turn around and face the truth that he was a miserable loner, running from responsibility all his life - that he was no one she should count on, and that in the end, it would always be her leaving him behind in absolute shambles, not the other way around. It wasn’t him that needed to make the choice, not in his world - it was hers, and hers alone, because he had already made his, back when they had shared their first laugh in the Vulcan gallery.
The fear in his eyes, the cruel way he thought about himself… it was enough to break her heart. That’s who he thought he was? Someone to be left behind, unnoticed, alone… For a moment, the pain took her breath away. She shook her head, almost in disbelief.
Voss: You deserve to be so much more than a footnote in someone’s life. You’re already more than that to me.
There were no words left. He had used them all. And now Ross just stood there, unable to move or speak or think, let alone breathe.
One of her hands moved to his chest and the other reached up to hold his cheek.
A soft shiver ran down his spine and for a moment he was almost afraid of her touch - but as soon as he felt her hand on his cheek, he couldn’t help but lean into the soft embrace. His hands settled on her waist without thinking and they found each other like two broken pieces of a whole, without thinking, without hesitation.
Voss: So you’ve run before? I don’t care. That doesn’t mean it’s who you are now. And if you’re scared? Then be scared. Just tell me. Just let me be there with you. We will mess this up - I mean, ::a small smile came to her face:: look how well we’ve done so far. But we can survive it. Because it’s real to me too. And it’s important. And I won’t let it go without a fight.
Just tell me. Just let me be there with you. Her words showered him in warmth and it soaked right through him, cupping around his painful, stupid heart like a pair of warm hands - for a few seconds, she held him completely, all the messed up, broken pieces, and he could feel treacherous heat behind his eyes as he blinked for composure. His voice was barely a whisper when he finally spoke up.
Ross: Are you sure you want this…?
She slid her arms around his neck and gently pulled him towards her until their foreheads were pressed together. Her eyes closed - no more stars, no more ballroom, no more music. Just the warmth of their bodies and the beating of their hearts.
Voss: ::barely a whisper:: I want this. I choose this. How could I not? When I’m already so in love with you.
And there it was: The fragile confession they had both fled from, without reason or need - perhaps they were equally afraid, but in that moment, he knew they felt the same courage beating in their chests. Ross let go. For the first time in far too long, he breathed a sigh of relief and let go - tears streamed down his cheeks, and at the same time, a hoarse, broken laugh escaped his lips as he bridged the last few inches between them and pulled her into a kiss. For a few seconds, he was weightless and oblivious to everything except her touch - and when he pulled away from her a little while later, which felt like a sweet eternity, he cupped her beautiful face in both hands and gazed at her, overwhelmed with love and tenderness.
Ross: I love you too. ::he cried and laughed at the same time:: …but you already know that, don’t you.
For a moment, it was like the sun itself had dawned in this ballroom. The tears in her eyes turned each glint of light into a refracted, shimmering halo until all she could see was dazzling, dizzying brilliance. And in front of it all, still wrapped in her arms, was the man she loved. Who loved her too. An elated smile broke out on her face, and she couldn’t help but laugh as all of the overwhelming tension began sliding from her shoulders.
Voss: ::eyes sparkling with laughter and tears:: Maybe. But it’s still incredible to hear you say it.
A kiss wasn’t enough - he pulled her in again, this time as closely as he could, wrapping both arms around her and just holding her for a few heartbeats: He never wanted to let go again. She had almost slipped through, just like that - but now she was back and he would make sure to never lose sight of her again. When they separated and his hands settled back on her waist, he was out of breath and shaky.
She let her hands rest on his chest. The feeling of being in his arms, of tucking her head into the crook of his neck… she had never felt so sure that she was exactly where she was meant to be.
Ross: I made this way harder than it had to be, huh?
He managed a wry smile and straightened his hair, trying to get rid of the tears on his cheeks in one movement - but it was hopeless. Now that he had started, there was no way to stop again, although he couldn’t have been more relieved and overwhelmed with joy. He sniffled and suppressed another laugh, as he pulled her close to place a kiss on her temple. He could have kept on kissing her for ages: Her hair, her forehead, her cheeks. Suddenly he had no idea how he had managed to stay away from her all night. He was buzzing, head to toe, freed from an invisible weight he had been carrying around for longer than he could remember.
Her laughter became a bright, floating giggle as she felt her own happiness and his combine into a heady kind of bliss.
Voss: Well, I don’t think you can take all the credit. ::grinning: But next time I bring you up to a rooftop to look at the stars, you better kiss me.
Ross: Well, I guess your brother will just have to deal with that, then.
He winked at her.
Didi was definitely the sibling who was going to care the least about this development in her life - he’d be happy for her, but mostly just interested in getting her off the roof if she was planning to do anything other than astronomy up there. She couldn’t have kept a smile off her face if she tried.
Voss: Then I think this’ll all work out just fine.
Lyra sighed with a kind of contentedness she wasn’t sure she’d ever felt before and wrapped her arms around him again as she rested her head on his chest.
Voss: ::softly:: Stupid little lovebirds, right? That Ferengi had us dead to rights.
He chuckled softly and rested his chin on her head for a moment. His gaze drifted out of the window, towards the endless night sky behind it - for a moment he was completely lost in the sight of a million stars and their two glowing, transparent reflections between them. Perfectly wrapped. Perfectly close. Maybe they had always belonged here - and even a Ferengi had been able to see it.
Ross: ::amused murmur:: Yeah, I hope A’Mayri will be proud of us…
That brought a grin to her face. They owed their new friend a great deal - she had all but dragged them across the finish line herself. Lyra was already contemplating what kind of gift you bought for a person whose brain you had unwittingly invaded, who then took it upon herself to ask you probing questions until you basically admitted you were falling in love. It would have to be the mother of all fruit baskets…
The world beyond their perfect little bubble started to filter in bit by bit, and she could suddenly hear music again, gentle and grand, as it swept through the room. She stood back up again and looked over at the band, and then back at Evan with a little grin.
Voss: So… what do you think?
He smiled.
Ross: I think I really owe you a dance.
She couldn’t have agreed more.
((Short Timeskip))
They took another second to catch their breath - and when Ross led Lyra back onto the dance floor, the tears were gone. He couldn’t have cared less about the few heads turning and amused gazes following after them as they settled at the edge of the floor and he put both hands on her waist, not even bothering to strike the official posture by holding one of her hands. His last dance lay three years back - but it felt like a lifetime ago. Back then it had been the night of his graduation from the Academy, and Alora DeVeau had convinced him to dance with gentle coercion; it seemed to be a Betazoid habit, but tonight, there was no need to force him. A wry grin tugged at the corner of his mouth.
Ross: Bear with me, will you.
She couldn’t help giggling. Ever since they’d walked over to the dance floor, she felt effervescent. Those butterflies she’d first noticed at the Ashalla bar seemed to have taken up permanent residence inside her and every step was buoyed by a thousand little wings. They could have been limboing for all she cared - as long as they were doing it together.
Voss: Oh I have every confidence you can handle the step-touch-sway.
They had no need for any “real” ballroom dance - this was really just a socially acceptable excuse to keep her arms wrapped around his neck and listen to beautiful music at the same time. Why had she ever thought she didn’t like dancing?
Slowly, they set into motion - he set every step cautiously, careful not to step onto her toes, even though something told him she wouldn’t even have cared. Finally, the night had turned out like it was supposed to be. The lights far above their heads reflected perfectly in her dark eyes and every time their gazes met, his heart skipped a beat; without hesitance, without remorse.
Ross: I told you before, but… - you really do look amazing. That dress… where do you even get something like that?
His concentration was absolutely adorable. The slightest furrow in his brow, the way his eyes fell down to the floor, just in case. It was as if she were noticing the details of his face all over again - his dark eyelashes, the sharp little bow of his lips, his cleft chin. She wanted to memorize every tiny piece of this moment and write it into her heart. It took her a moment to even realize he’d asked a question.
Voss: Oh! Thank you… ::a tiny blush:: The dress… Azi convinced me to buy it actually. We were at this designer’s studio in Idridi and I just fell in love with it. It’s a little bolder than what I normally gravitate towards, at least for non-Betazoid events ::she playfully swished the dress to show off the high slit in the side of the skirt:: so I’ve never worked up the courage to wear it before. But tonight… I don’t know. It’s almost like I wanted to impress somebody.
She shrugged and tossed a loose curl out of her face with a smirk.
Another warm wave of excitement washed through his insides - it was laughable, but she really made him feel like a teen again. Only that none of his high school girlfriends had ever put so much effort into impressing him - it had usually been the other way around. There definitely were some nice sides to dating someone from a matriarchal society - but at the same time he was incredibly eager to make it up to her.
Ross: I guess I’ll have to rethink my wardrobe for these kinds of events from now on.
And that was probably more commitment than anyone had ever gotten from him in the last 10 years. Maybe even since his graduation from high school.
Voss: ::with a bright, teasing grin:: I fell in love with you in a plain black button down. If you turn up in a suit or something, I might not survive it! What if I faint?
He threw his head back and laughed in a way no one could make him besides her - for a moment, he moved without thinking, leading them further across the dance floor and when they locked eyes again, he was beaming with amusement, not even questioning anymore how he put his steps. They were simply floating.
Ross: You’re lucky you didn’t catch me at the beach party with my sleeves all rolled up.
Voss: Well I suppose that does sound rather romantic. I guess we’ll just have to see. It’ll depend on where the next award ceremony is! I mean, how many ballrooms can one starbase have squirreled away?
He shook his head with a grin.
Ross: You’d be surprised…
Voss: I look forward to finding out.
The music continued to wind gracefully through the room as dancers came and went from the beautiful parquet wood floor. Through every song, no matter the style or rhythm, they stayed in each other’s arms - dancing, chatting, laughing, sometimes just holding each other close in warm, effortless silence. So many times, Lyra had told herself that this could never be. That she needed to forget the way her pulse raced when he smiled, the way her cheeks flushed when he joked with her, how unbelievably simple it was to talk to him about anything under the sun… That, no matter what he felt about her, there would always be some invisible, insurmountable barrier between them. To feel that barrier finally crumble… her poor, overwhelmed heart ached with joy. She never wanted this night to end.
((Short Timeskip))
But all nights did, eventually. As the clock continued to tick past midnight, the ballroom’s crowd slowly began to thin. Groups left together, some couples peeled off, a few struck out on their own, and soon, Lyra and Evan were two of the only souls left on the dance floor. She let her steps slow, but didn’t step out of his embrace.
Voss: Well. Looks like the party’s winding down…
He hadn’t even noticed how the room had cleared - when Ross raised his head, he realised that they were the last ones left, turning around their own axis all on their own. Somehow it felt like they had stepped onto the dance floor ages ago - and at the same time, it could have been minutes since they had embraced each other. He didn’t want this night to end yet. Not in the hazy, drunken way he had lost himself in her eyes a few weeks ago - his mind was clear and his emotions carried him steadily through the night.
Ross: Yeah… I guess it’s pretty late…
She let her hand wander into his hair, gently brushing it back. A million little sparks went flying through his chest as he smiled down at her.
Voss: Funny thing is… I’m not tired at all.
Ross: ::with an amused spark in his eyes:: Not at all, huh…?
A smile slowly bloomed across her face as she looked up into his eyes. For a moment, she was back in the hallway outside her quarters, with her breath stolen by that first kiss.
Voss: ::softly:: I think… you should take me home. And not make me ask twice.
His smile grew brighter - they were almost on their own, and that fuelled his bravery as he gently reached for her face and pulled her into a tender kiss. He barely separated an inch from her as he whispered a soft promise against her lips:
Ross: …I won’t.
End of Scene.
—
Lt. JG Lyra Voss
Assistant Chief Science Officer
Starbase 118 Ops
O240208LV1
and
Lt. Commander Evan Ross
Intelligence Officer
StarBase 118 Ops
O240009ER2