Lt. Haukea-Willow: Shame.
Aly Drolet
OOC: The quote on shame comes from a show called Call the Midwife, one of my favorites. It’s an emotional ride, a historically accurate medical drama.
((Subspace Cafe - Ashalla District - Starbase 118))
The pair of women fell into quiet repose, Sol drinking her tea, studying the tendrils of leaves, Haukea herself gulping at the cold remains of her coffee. Haukea personally had little to say, waiting for Solaris to speak, believing she wished to continue discussing the incident.
McLaren: I never thanked you... you know... for what you did.
Willow: In some ways I was doing my job.
McLaren: ::Shaking her head, looking up at Haukea:: Maybe you were just doing your job... but you went above and beyond...
Willow: I understood the risk, was willing to take it. I would have done it the exact same for anyone. Though I think knowing you so little, it made me want to comfort you more. Make sure you survived so we could get to know one another.
It was Solaris’s laugh, her nodding understanding, along with her next words that spurred an unknown emotion within Haukea.
McLaren: You weren't scared though?
Willow: I wasn’t scared. I was more ‘scared’ being trapped in the holodeck. Seeing Corey injured made me physically sick.
True that Haukea had little resistance to the use of holodeck technology, such equipment, if not entrapment, not being what particularly ‘scared’ her, more the witnessing of now Chief Corey Wethern being injured in an environment that was factually safe, her mind being turned away from professional thought, it had made her stomach turn. Even now she had little in the way of words to describe her emotions, to her they simply were.
McLaren: I can understand. It didn't sound good from what I had read, but I'm glad he recovered and you all got out ok.
Willow: However, this is about you. How have you been doing since? I notice you have… ::Haukea touched above her eyebrow, indicating Solaris’s implant::
Bobbing her head Sole reached with a hand, touching her implant that lay directly above her eyebrow. She spoke plainly.
McLaren: Wyn and Corey couldn't remove everything... ::she raised her other hand as well, showing off the implants on the back of it:: But that's ok.
Despite a solid source of understanding regarding emotion, Haukea was highly empathetic, reasoning with the difficulties others faced.
Willow: That must have taken a great deal to come to terms with.
Solaris merely shrugged, showing indifference regarding the notion.
McLaren: Right after everything... I kept the bandages on... trying to hide them... but after talking with a counselor and some others... I stopped doing that. Now... I'm actually surprised at how unobtrusive they are.
Willow: Do they hurt?
McLaren: Sometimes they ache... but not enough to actually do anything about. Otherwise... I just accept they are a part of me now... and a reminder of not to be careless…
It was a sure fact that Solaris McLaren was not careless in facing the Borg. Not now, not ever. She had merely been conducting her job, with bravery, ending in the wrong place at the wrong time. Haukea certainly, and would never, blame her for the incident. At the time, sitting next to the woman as she faced a daunting mental battle, fighting the Borg, she had not thought her careless, reckless, or placing herself and the lives of others at risk. The Borg were a senseless race, attacking any at their disposal. If blame was to be placed, it would be on them. Haukea spoke as much to Solaris.
Willow: “Shame is born in public, and lived out secretly. What is not seen cannot be scrubbed away. But so much can be made bearable by love. By cherishing what is, and not condemning fault or flaw. By never locking doors, by keeping hearts open, and holding each other forever in the light.”
Shame likely came about over the fact Solaris had allowed herself to be assimilated. She had lived, likely, with the emotion privately, fearing her implants before seeking professional assistance, the love that mended, the kindness that provided light.
McLaren: Response
Willow: I only mean that there is no need to hide. Our bodies change. Yet you made no mistake that day and neither did I.
McLaren: Response
Willow: You were not careless. ::Haukea spoke the words with conviction, plainly, grasping onto Solars’s hand, touching the implant::
McLaren: Response
