JP: Lt. JG Lyra Voss and Lt. Cmdr. Evan Ross: Before the Night is Over, Part I
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Hannah S
Aug 10, 2026, 7:43:24 AM (6 days ago) Aug 10
to sb11...@googlegroups.com
(OOC: We can all take a deep breath now, they made it! Thanks for sticking with us in these challenging times ;) )
((Deck 499 – Starlight Ballroom - Starbase 118 Ops))
Even as the ceremony ended and they mingled with the crowd to say their congratulations after the various ribbons, promotions, and surprises of the evening, Lyra was reluctant to move more than a few paces away from Evan. Actually, both of them were acting like there was some kind of invisible tether between them; like they were the two feet of a drawing compass - each taking turns ranging out and then inevitably returning to center. Finally, the rest of the crew began moving on to other activities - happy drinks and lively discussion at the bar, more trips to the buffet or spins around the dance floor - and it was time to finish their interrupted conversation. Anxiety pricked at the nape of her neck as she returned to him with a small resigned smile on her face and held out her hand.
Voss: ::softly:: Shall we?
He knew he had it coming - maybe there was even one tiny part inside Ross which was looking forward to finally setting things straight. He didn’t want to start a mission with all these unsaid things between them - the thought of Lyra out there, possibly in danger, without having been able to explain himself, was unbearable. Especially now, where their closeness came as naturally as breathing. He was never far from her, or she from him - it suddenly didn’t make a difference anymore, and the realisation was breathtaking.
He took her hand with a small, silent sigh.
Ross: …we shall.
She didn’t have a particular destination in mind - just a desire to get away from the crowd - but they walked quietly until they ended up by the far, empty corner of the ballroom’s enormous panoramic window. So many thoughts swirled through her head that she caught only glimpses of them, like brightly-colored confetti blown around by the wind. Some were his thoughts as well. All were colored by the overwhelming tension building between them with each step. There were so many things she wanted to say, so many she wanted to understand. The woman in her pajamas with her soft, sad eyes and green hair was only part of it. Because, as difficult as that conversation must have been, was it really the only reason he hadn’t spoken to her for a week? Or was there something deeper there too, hiding behind her…
Their steps slowed to a stop and Lyra put a hand on the cool glass of the viewport. It was almost impossible to look away from the wonder beyond it - the silent ships drifting across the dark fabric of the heavens. The endless glittering stars. A deep sigh escaped her lips.
Voss: ::quietly, slowly, eyes still lingering on the expanse in front of them:: Tonight has really made me think about the night we met. How I was too terrified to even say hello to anyone. But you had me rambling about the poetry of event horizons after what, ten minutes? Maybe even less.::finally turning to him with half a grin:: I was so grateful. I’m still grateful.
He mirrored her smile without thinking. Weirdly, it had been the same for him: something about this night felt defining. A crossroad. Maybe a destination.
Ross: Yeah, me too. Imagine I would have spared you that doughnut metaphor. You probably would be out here tonight, worrying about a whole different idiot.
It was a ludicrous excuse for an apology - but it was a start. He didn’t want to fight. He just wanted to get it right.
The thought made the grin on her face grow a little wider - surely it was the doughnut metaphor that had really clinched it. She let her arms cross loosely in front of her waist and leaned back against the glass.
Voss: So. Why don’t you tell me what happened? With your old friend.
She’d seen enough in his thoughts earlier to understand the broad strokes of the conversation, but it was without context - just a fleeting barrage of images and feelings.
Ross took a deep breath. For a moment, his gaze flickered towards the eternal night behind the huge window screen. It was this sight that had united them, ages ago - the wonder for space, the thrilling idea of its vastness. However, as soon as he thought back to the painful conversation in his quarters, the world seemed small and confined. He tensed his jaw and nodded slowly, as if to encourage himself, but still it took him a moment to speak up.
Ross: Her name’s Sasch. She was stationed here with us for years. I… actually went to visit her, the other day, when I travelled to the Gamma Quadrant. She’s on the Thor.
He knew this didn’t really explain anything, but the guilt was already creeping up his sleeve, closing around his throat with cold fingers.
Ross: It’s… she… came by. I had no idea she was back. But she’s assigned to the Academy now, as a lecturer. She’s a great pilot. One of the best.
oO Great. Name more desirable traits of hers. Oo Ross cut himself off and closed his eyes for a moment.
She could feel him struggling against the memories - the way they cut as he tried to pull them back up. How could they not? They were still so fresh. She hated to see pain written across his face like that. And it was obvious that this woman - Sasch - was someone he cared about.
Voss: The two of you must have been good friends.
He knew she already knew half the story. But which half? Heck, he still wasn’t sure what had happened, and even thinking back to that fateful visit gave him a headache. For a moment, Ross just stood there, struggling against an invisible tension, before he finally blurted out:
Ross: Look, you have to believe me - I had no idea.
He locked eyes with Lyra and shook his head in a desperate, a silent plea -
Voss: No, of course, I do be–
There was an almost frantic edge to his voice as the words spilled out.
Ross: There were people… 10 years younger than me which she called older brother. She used to have a boyfriend. A Klingon colleague of ours. They had only just broken up. She’s like… half my age. If there had been any way to know… ::he frowned:: I really thought she was just over for coffee. A chat. Catching up, you know? And then suddenly…
He aimlessly raised both hands, miming something faintly resembling an emotional explosion, a catastrophe, a heartbreak that came out of nowhere and still shook him to the core - then his shoulders sunk down in defeat.
Lyra felt a tense, creeping feeling brush across her thoughts and she unconsciously bit the inside of her lip. Not just a friend and a colleague - a younger woman. “Half his age.” Hadn’t she heard him think the same thing about her? Her eyes fell to the ground for a moment.
The sight of her defeat made his chest tense up. She was hurt, wasn’t she? Oh, she had gotten it all wrong. He had messed up. This was exactly what he had tried to avoid.
Ross: …I didn’t know. I swear, Lyra, I didn’t know.
She almost startled, afraid that she’d given him the wrong impression of what she was thinking. She immediately stood up from the glass to catch his hands in hers.
Voss: I know. I really do.
She squeezed his hands and gave him a little shrugging smile.
Ross frowned, torn between relief and confusion for a moment.
Voss: Betazoid, remember? You don’t need to convince me. You were completely blindsided. I can feel the… ::letting go of his hands and bringing hers together like she was holding some invisible object:: …the way you held onto that mug so tightly, it felt like it might shatter… The shock and confusion, the way you grasped for anything that might make it make sense and found… found nothing. How badly you wanted to run…
In fact, it was too easy to feel it. She’d become so familiar with his mind that it was easy to slip in. Almost instinctual. Her jaw ached like she’d been the one clenching her mouth shut and the threat of tears stung the corners of her eyes. She shuddered, and had to take a deep breath to try to steady herself.
A shiver ran down his spine. It was an eerie feeling to hear his own memories from her lips - and at the same time it felt weirdly freeing: She knew, didn’t she? She knew.
Ross: Yeah, I… I guess you do, huh?
He managed a broken laugh, but it didn’t really reach his eyes. He still didn’t know what to think.
Ross: So you’re not mad?
She looked back at him and gently shook her head.
Voss: No, I… I’m just sorry. So sorry. For both of you. She was brave enough to take the leap and she… And you had to hurt a friend. There’s no… there’s no good way to handle that. It just hurts. An ache that buries itself deep inside you.
An ache she was all too familiar with. She’d experienced a small version of it tonight; a much larger, darker version when she’d told K’Veris she couldn’t marry him.
Ross cringed slightly.
Ross: It was terrible. I really wish I could have… I don’t know. Made it less painful.
She clutched her hands together tightly, betraying her nerves.
Voss: But at least she… She understood. She still… your friendship is still important to her. With time and space, I’m sure… ::trailing off::
Time and Space. The way Lyra put it, it almost sounded like friendships were a scientific constant, bound to recover. Truth be told, Ross wasn’t sure whether he and Sasch would ever be the same again. They had been through some tough times, but looking back now, there was always the painful pinch of a question. When had things started to shift for her?
He knew he would probably take this question to his grave, but right now there were more important things to consider. Starting with the girl in front of him, whose eyes had turned back to the night sky without ever finishing her sentence. A grave silence had settled between the two of them and it took him a moment to summon the courage to speak up again. In the end he only managed two words.
Ross: I’m sorry.
Her eyes were pulled back to the stars - their steady, unwavering light. A hundred thousand pinpricks shining for them - stars that could be long dead, but here were their final words, traveling untold lightyears to reach them in this strange, magical little ballroom.
She knew that he was sorry. Even if she hadn’t been a telepath, she’d have known. It was etched in his every expression, his every movement. All she really wanted to do was pull him into her arms and kiss away each doubt, each frown, each ache. Put this whole mess behind them - write it off, forget about it, get lost again in the depths of his eyes, but… Even if that would be enough to sustain them tonight, it wouldn’t last forever. And he would never be able to read the questions that haunted the back of her mind, so they would linger and grow larger and uglier until they could no longer be ignored. This… this thing, this relationship they were too scared to name… she didn’t just want it to work tonight. She wanted…
Voss: ::voice low, barely louder than a whisper:: But why didn’t you tell me? You knew I’d see the truth of what happened. Instead, I… I ate myself alive trying to figure out what I’d done to upset you. If I’d somehow ruined everything or…
Tears closed her throat and she stopped. It took all her concentration to hold them back from falling down her cheeks.
It killed him to see her like this. Ross took a careful step towards her, towards the edge of the dark night sky - the stars mixed with the reflections of the chandeliers and for a moment they all looked the same. They all looked like her.
Why didn’t he tell her? It was a good question, one he had asked himself countless times over the course of the last week. There was no good answer. None that made sense.
Ross: I didn’t know how to tell you. But I… knew you’d sense it. I was… scared you’d be upset. I didn’t know how to feel about it. I was afraid to… feel the wrong thing, maybe.
She couldn’t help a sharp, little intake of breath. Afraid to even feel around her. This was what always happened, wasn't it. A few tears escaped her containment.
He frowned slightly, knowing that this was a hard topic for her - she had told him how her fellow cadets had reacted to her ability to read their minds. But this was different… was it? There were things on his mind he didn’t dare to voice yet. A lingering fear of… what exactly?
Slowly, he sunk against the glass to get a better view of her. His hand reached out for hers, barely brushing her skin, unsure whether she needed space -
But the moment she felt his tentative fingertips, she grabbed his hand tightly, as though it were the only thing holding her back from tipping out into that unending night beyond them.
Ross: It’s not your fault. It’s just… sometimes I just… freeze, you know? ::he grimaced at the lack of a better word:: I wanna do all the things. Explain. Apologize. Reach out. And then, in the end I… end up doing nothing at all.
That, or he left. It was an ugly, horrible pattern that had been in control of his life for way too long - but he didn’t want to fall back into it. Most of all, he didn’t want to pull her with him.
Once the first few tears fell, it was difficult to stop the rest. She tried vainly to wipe at her cheeks with the back of her hand that wasn’t in his. It was miserable to cry when what you really needed to do was speak. She shook her head, trying to find her composure, and huffed out the tiniest frail laugh.
Voss: ::weakly:: And I overanalyze. Like every moment is a… new branch in a flow chart, and if I can just trace it back far enough, I’ll figure out where I went wrong, what I should have done, what I could have said, and I get trapped in that… that constant loop… I didn’t… it’s not like I did anything either.
There it was: another woman crying because of him. This time it was even more gut-wrenching, because Ross knew it had been entirely preventable. He had messed up. All this time he had been so afraid of making the wrong move - only to make the worst of them all. The urge to pull Lyra into his arms and kiss the tears away was overwhelming, but he knew he still owed her an explanation - something more than a simple apology.
Ross: I thought if I just processed it… understood what happened - you’d understand it better. Also, I… ::he pressed his lips together, his heartbeat speeding up at the thought:: I kinda… mentioned you to her. And I didn’t want to pressure you, or think you owe me something now. I know it was stupid. I’m sorry.
His fingers hesitantly intertwined with hers - a wordless question.
That caught her by surprise. Now she could hear it more clearly in his thoughts - that moment when he’d told Sasch about her. His anxiety had pushed past it so quickly before that it had hardly registered. She couldn’t help the confusion that fell over her face.
Voss: That’s what you were afraid I’d see? That you told her there was someone else?
Ross shrugged helplessly. Suddenly it was hard to breathe.
Ross: I don’t know, I… didn’t want you to feel pressured. Just in case you aren’t ready yet, or… I don’t know.
She reached for his other hand, stepping close enough that the skirt of her dress brushed against his legs.
Voss: Evan, you’re not pressuring me. How could you think… I want this to be something worth mentioning. I want it so badly, I… ::shaking her head and cutting herself off:: If anything, I feel like I’m the one who’s pressuring you. I mean, I turn up on your doorstep with gifts, drag you up to that rooftop, nearly go to pieces because you lent someone a jacket, I… ::the tears started again:: And with every tender thought, it was like this… this shadow of fear would come over you and I just…
The jacket. Suddenly it all made sense. It was true, wasn’t it? She had romanced him big time, the old school way, and maybe he had been too blinded by his own insecurities to see. For a moment the realization almost made him smile. But then there it was again: her shattered, desperate expression. Fear. Never in a million years had he intended to make her feel this way. Maybe he hadn’t even realised he was able to. Now it was him, putting her hands in both of his, as if he could protect her this way - from all of this, maybe even from himself.
(tbc)
—
Lt. JG Lyra Voss
Assistant Chief Science Officer
Starbase 118 Ops
O240208LV1
and
Lt. Commander Evan Ross
Intelligence Officer
StarBase 118 Ops
O240009ER2
Even as the ceremony ended and they mingled with the crowd to say their congratulations after the various ribbons, promotions, and surprises of the evening, Lyra was reluctant to move more than a few paces away from Evan. Actually, both of them were acting like there was some kind of invisible tether between them; like they were the two feet of a drawing compass - each taking turns ranging out and then inevitably returning to center. Finally, the rest of the crew began moving on to other activities - happy drinks and lively discussion at the bar, more trips to the buffet or spins around the dance floor - and it was time to finish their interrupted conversation. Anxiety pricked at the nape of her neck as she returned to him with a small resigned smile on her face and held out her hand.
Voss: ::softly:: Shall we?
He knew he had it coming - maybe there was even one tiny part inside Ross which was looking forward to finally setting things straight. He didn’t want to start a mission with all these unsaid things between them - the thought of Lyra out there, possibly in danger, without having been able to explain himself, was unbearable. Especially now, where their closeness came as naturally as breathing. He was never far from her, or she from him - it suddenly didn’t make a difference anymore, and the realisation was breathtaking.
He took her hand with a small, silent sigh.
Ross: …we shall.
She didn’t have a particular destination in mind - just a desire to get away from the crowd - but they walked quietly until they ended up by the far, empty corner of the ballroom’s enormous panoramic window. So many thoughts swirled through her head that she caught only glimpses of them, like brightly-colored confetti blown around by the wind. Some were his thoughts as well. All were colored by the overwhelming tension building between them with each step. There were so many things she wanted to say, so many she wanted to understand. The woman in her pajamas with her soft, sad eyes and green hair was only part of it. Because, as difficult as that conversation must have been, was it really the only reason he hadn’t spoken to her for a week? Or was there something deeper there too, hiding behind her…
Their steps slowed to a stop and Lyra put a hand on the cool glass of the viewport. It was almost impossible to look away from the wonder beyond it - the silent ships drifting across the dark fabric of the heavens. The endless glittering stars. A deep sigh escaped her lips.
Voss: ::quietly, slowly, eyes still lingering on the expanse in front of them:: Tonight has really made me think about the night we met. How I was too terrified to even say hello to anyone. But you had me rambling about the poetry of event horizons after what, ten minutes? Maybe even less.::finally turning to him with half a grin:: I was so grateful. I’m still grateful.
He mirrored her smile without thinking. Weirdly, it had been the same for him: something about this night felt defining. A crossroad. Maybe a destination.
Ross: Yeah, me too. Imagine I would have spared you that doughnut metaphor. You probably would be out here tonight, worrying about a whole different idiot.
It was a ludicrous excuse for an apology - but it was a start. He didn’t want to fight. He just wanted to get it right.
The thought made the grin on her face grow a little wider - surely it was the doughnut metaphor that had really clinched it. She let her arms cross loosely in front of her waist and leaned back against the glass.
Voss: So. Why don’t you tell me what happened? With your old friend.
She’d seen enough in his thoughts earlier to understand the broad strokes of the conversation, but it was without context - just a fleeting barrage of images and feelings.
Ross took a deep breath. For a moment, his gaze flickered towards the eternal night behind the huge window screen. It was this sight that had united them, ages ago - the wonder for space, the thrilling idea of its vastness. However, as soon as he thought back to the painful conversation in his quarters, the world seemed small and confined. He tensed his jaw and nodded slowly, as if to encourage himself, but still it took him a moment to speak up.
Ross: Her name’s Sasch. She was stationed here with us for years. I… actually went to visit her, the other day, when I travelled to the Gamma Quadrant. She’s on the Thor.
He knew this didn’t really explain anything, but the guilt was already creeping up his sleeve, closing around his throat with cold fingers.
Ross: It’s… she… came by. I had no idea she was back. But she’s assigned to the Academy now, as a lecturer. She’s a great pilot. One of the best.
oO Great. Name more desirable traits of hers. Oo Ross cut himself off and closed his eyes for a moment.
She could feel him struggling against the memories - the way they cut as he tried to pull them back up. How could they not? They were still so fresh. She hated to see pain written across his face like that. And it was obvious that this woman - Sasch - was someone he cared about.
Voss: The two of you must have been good friends.
He knew she already knew half the story. But which half? Heck, he still wasn’t sure what had happened, and even thinking back to that fateful visit gave him a headache. For a moment, Ross just stood there, struggling against an invisible tension, before he finally blurted out:
Ross: Look, you have to believe me - I had no idea.
He locked eyes with Lyra and shook his head in a desperate, a silent plea -
Voss: No, of course, I do be–
There was an almost frantic edge to his voice as the words spilled out.
Ross: There were people… 10 years younger than me which she called older brother. She used to have a boyfriend. A Klingon colleague of ours. They had only just broken up. She’s like… half my age. If there had been any way to know… ::he frowned:: I really thought she was just over for coffee. A chat. Catching up, you know? And then suddenly…
He aimlessly raised both hands, miming something faintly resembling an emotional explosion, a catastrophe, a heartbreak that came out of nowhere and still shook him to the core - then his shoulders sunk down in defeat.
Lyra felt a tense, creeping feeling brush across her thoughts and she unconsciously bit the inside of her lip. Not just a friend and a colleague - a younger woman. “Half his age.” Hadn’t she heard him think the same thing about her? Her eyes fell to the ground for a moment.
The sight of her defeat made his chest tense up. She was hurt, wasn’t she? Oh, she had gotten it all wrong. He had messed up. This was exactly what he had tried to avoid.
Ross: …I didn’t know. I swear, Lyra, I didn’t know.
She almost startled, afraid that she’d given him the wrong impression of what she was thinking. She immediately stood up from the glass to catch his hands in hers.
Voss: I know. I really do.
She squeezed his hands and gave him a little shrugging smile.
Ross frowned, torn between relief and confusion for a moment.
Voss: Betazoid, remember? You don’t need to convince me. You were completely blindsided. I can feel the… ::letting go of his hands and bringing hers together like she was holding some invisible object:: …the way you held onto that mug so tightly, it felt like it might shatter… The shock and confusion, the way you grasped for anything that might make it make sense and found… found nothing. How badly you wanted to run…
In fact, it was too easy to feel it. She’d become so familiar with his mind that it was easy to slip in. Almost instinctual. Her jaw ached like she’d been the one clenching her mouth shut and the threat of tears stung the corners of her eyes. She shuddered, and had to take a deep breath to try to steady herself.
A shiver ran down his spine. It was an eerie feeling to hear his own memories from her lips - and at the same time it felt weirdly freeing: She knew, didn’t she? She knew.
Ross: Yeah, I… I guess you do, huh?
He managed a broken laugh, but it didn’t really reach his eyes. He still didn’t know what to think.
Ross: So you’re not mad?
She looked back at him and gently shook her head.
Voss: No, I… I’m just sorry. So sorry. For both of you. She was brave enough to take the leap and she… And you had to hurt a friend. There’s no… there’s no good way to handle that. It just hurts. An ache that buries itself deep inside you.
An ache she was all too familiar with. She’d experienced a small version of it tonight; a much larger, darker version when she’d told K’Veris she couldn’t marry him.
Ross cringed slightly.
Ross: It was terrible. I really wish I could have… I don’t know. Made it less painful.
She clutched her hands together tightly, betraying her nerves.
Voss: But at least she… She understood. She still… your friendship is still important to her. With time and space, I’m sure… ::trailing off::
Time and Space. The way Lyra put it, it almost sounded like friendships were a scientific constant, bound to recover. Truth be told, Ross wasn’t sure whether he and Sasch would ever be the same again. They had been through some tough times, but looking back now, there was always the painful pinch of a question. When had things started to shift for her?
He knew he would probably take this question to his grave, but right now there were more important things to consider. Starting with the girl in front of him, whose eyes had turned back to the night sky without ever finishing her sentence. A grave silence had settled between the two of them and it took him a moment to summon the courage to speak up again. In the end he only managed two words.
Ross: I’m sorry.
Her eyes were pulled back to the stars - their steady, unwavering light. A hundred thousand pinpricks shining for them - stars that could be long dead, but here were their final words, traveling untold lightyears to reach them in this strange, magical little ballroom.
She knew that he was sorry. Even if she hadn’t been a telepath, she’d have known. It was etched in his every expression, his every movement. All she really wanted to do was pull him into her arms and kiss away each doubt, each frown, each ache. Put this whole mess behind them - write it off, forget about it, get lost again in the depths of his eyes, but… Even if that would be enough to sustain them tonight, it wouldn’t last forever. And he would never be able to read the questions that haunted the back of her mind, so they would linger and grow larger and uglier until they could no longer be ignored. This… this thing, this relationship they were too scared to name… she didn’t just want it to work tonight. She wanted…
Voss: ::voice low, barely louder than a whisper:: But why didn’t you tell me? You knew I’d see the truth of what happened. Instead, I… I ate myself alive trying to figure out what I’d done to upset you. If I’d somehow ruined everything or…
Tears closed her throat and she stopped. It took all her concentration to hold them back from falling down her cheeks.
It killed him to see her like this. Ross took a careful step towards her, towards the edge of the dark night sky - the stars mixed with the reflections of the chandeliers and for a moment they all looked the same. They all looked like her.
Why didn’t he tell her? It was a good question, one he had asked himself countless times over the course of the last week. There was no good answer. None that made sense.
Ross: I didn’t know how to tell you. But I… knew you’d sense it. I was… scared you’d be upset. I didn’t know how to feel about it. I was afraid to… feel the wrong thing, maybe.
She couldn’t help a sharp, little intake of breath. Afraid to even feel around her. This was what always happened, wasn't it. A few tears escaped her containment.
He frowned slightly, knowing that this was a hard topic for her - she had told him how her fellow cadets had reacted to her ability to read their minds. But this was different… was it? There were things on his mind he didn’t dare to voice yet. A lingering fear of… what exactly?
Slowly, he sunk against the glass to get a better view of her. His hand reached out for hers, barely brushing her skin, unsure whether she needed space -
But the moment she felt his tentative fingertips, she grabbed his hand tightly, as though it were the only thing holding her back from tipping out into that unending night beyond them.
Ross: It’s not your fault. It’s just… sometimes I just… freeze, you know? ::he grimaced at the lack of a better word:: I wanna do all the things. Explain. Apologize. Reach out. And then, in the end I… end up doing nothing at all.
That, or he left. It was an ugly, horrible pattern that had been in control of his life for way too long - but he didn’t want to fall back into it. Most of all, he didn’t want to pull her with him.
Once the first few tears fell, it was difficult to stop the rest. She tried vainly to wipe at her cheeks with the back of her hand that wasn’t in his. It was miserable to cry when what you really needed to do was speak. She shook her head, trying to find her composure, and huffed out the tiniest frail laugh.
Voss: ::weakly:: And I overanalyze. Like every moment is a… new branch in a flow chart, and if I can just trace it back far enough, I’ll figure out where I went wrong, what I should have done, what I could have said, and I get trapped in that… that constant loop… I didn’t… it’s not like I did anything either.
There it was: another woman crying because of him. This time it was even more gut-wrenching, because Ross knew it had been entirely preventable. He had messed up. All this time he had been so afraid of making the wrong move - only to make the worst of them all. The urge to pull Lyra into his arms and kiss the tears away was overwhelming, but he knew he still owed her an explanation - something more than a simple apology.
Ross: I thought if I just processed it… understood what happened - you’d understand it better. Also, I… ::he pressed his lips together, his heartbeat speeding up at the thought:: I kinda… mentioned you to her. And I didn’t want to pressure you, or think you owe me something now. I know it was stupid. I’m sorry.
His fingers hesitantly intertwined with hers - a wordless question.
That caught her by surprise. Now she could hear it more clearly in his thoughts - that moment when he’d told Sasch about her. His anxiety had pushed past it so quickly before that it had hardly registered. She couldn’t help the confusion that fell over her face.
Voss: That’s what you were afraid I’d see? That you told her there was someone else?
Ross shrugged helplessly. Suddenly it was hard to breathe.
Ross: I don’t know, I… didn’t want you to feel pressured. Just in case you aren’t ready yet, or… I don’t know.
She reached for his other hand, stepping close enough that the skirt of her dress brushed against his legs.
Voss: Evan, you’re not pressuring me. How could you think… I want this to be something worth mentioning. I want it so badly, I… ::shaking her head and cutting herself off:: If anything, I feel like I’m the one who’s pressuring you. I mean, I turn up on your doorstep with gifts, drag you up to that rooftop, nearly go to pieces because you lent someone a jacket, I… ::the tears started again:: And with every tender thought, it was like this… this shadow of fear would come over you and I just…
The jacket. Suddenly it all made sense. It was true, wasn’t it? She had romanced him big time, the old school way, and maybe he had been too blinded by his own insecurities to see. For a moment the realization almost made him smile. But then there it was again: her shattered, desperate expression. Fear. Never in a million years had he intended to make her feel this way. Maybe he hadn’t even realised he was able to. Now it was him, putting her hands in both of his, as if he could protect her this way - from all of this, maybe even from himself.
(tbc)
—
Lt. JG Lyra Voss
Assistant Chief Science Officer
Starbase 118 Ops
O240208LV1
and
Lt. Commander Evan Ross
Intelligence Officer
StarBase 118 Ops
O240009ER2
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