Haukea-Willow: Obscure Sorrows
Aly Drolet
OOC: Haukea-Willow Family Tree , The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows
((Starbase 118, Command Center, Deck 7, Commanding Officer’s Ready Room))
Yet, The Risan was encapsulated in a feedback loop; personal protection versus personal autonomy. To intervene, how, and when, or step back, swimming in unknown guilt.
Then to layer, like sedimentary rock, decidedly invasive, inexpert emotional sensations, she imagined indecision.
Willow: What then?
Fairhug: Well, then you would have to deal with the consequences. But by acknowledging your feelings and confronting them, you're doing the right thing. Nobody can help if you don't speak up.
Willow: I am here. Even then I’m struggling with the specific assistance with which to request.
Subconsciously, Haukea surmised, due to her Risian heritage, she had a greater sensitivity and longing towards individual touch. Therefore, as Gogigobo swung around the furniture, placing himself horizontal to her own figure, next to, rather than across from, she may have practically, largely internally, felt the intensity and weight within herself loosen.
Fairhug: You have a lot of people here that you care about. Madison and Amar, for a start. On top of that, you find yourself in a position as Chief of Security where you may feel like it's your responsibility to keep them and everyone else safe. But you're not alone and it's not all on you.
Willow: I have family…I still though feel…I don’t know…. ::Maybe she was still trying to somehow fit in?::
In an acknowledgement towards their personal and professional relationship, Gogigo placed a gentle yet firm hand upon her shoulder, prompting Haukea to press her palms to her face, attempting to erase the tear stains. Then he stood.
Fairhug: Do you want something to drink? I'm going to have a gunpowder tea.
Haukea considered her choice for a moment. Her tears, now dry, had made her considerably thirsty, which she had not previously realized. A warm sweetened, spicier version of her favorite would provide comfort.
Willow: A Mexican mocha with cinnamon and nutmeg, please.
Gogigobo called for the requested beverages from the ready room’s personal replicator, returning with two steaming mugs, placing one in front of Haukea as he retook his seat next to her.
Fairhug: I don't know too much about Risian culture. Is family a big thing there?
Romantic endeavors, even those of the less committal form, were, in a sense, highly sought after within the Risian community. Yet Haukea could hardly distinguish what she perceived as common Risian family values from those of her own family. A family which blended biological and found relationships into one enormous tree.
Therefore, the Willow Tree provided a representation of familial commitment, cementing the concept beyond merely genetics decades before she was born. To Haukea, having siblings and cousins scientifically unrelated, yet indistinguishable from traditional definition, was natural.
Willow: I don’t want to provide a blanket statement, but for my family it was. We have a unique blend of biological relatives and those not related by biological or genetic means listed in the family tree.
Yet, to provide a generalized statement describing Risian familial principles, arguably devalued the fluidity of jamaharon - a practice characterized by a horga'hn statue signifying an announcement and participation in pleasurable sexual practices.
Fairhug: So you consider even those not related by blood to still be a part of your family?
Platonic - (of love or friendship) intimate and affectionate but not sexual - interwove the foundation of Willow tree roots, providing structure, stability, and support. When collective intentions faithfully migrated into passing social spheres, additional branches evolved, providing a resting lurch for genetically independent individuals.
Willow: I have three siblings though only the sisters are related to each other. My brother holds no relation to them. And they likewise hold no relation to me. Not scientifically anyway. Yet, that doesn’t matter. They have been my siblings, each with a unique and complete family of their own.
Fairhug: That's fascinating and a great way of looking at things.
While Gogigobo drank his tea, warm liquid flowing down his throat, Haukea simply allowed her hands to be warmed by her mug.
Willow: Same for my paternal cousin’s boyfriend’s siblings, whom I consider cousins respectively.
Despite the unconventional nature of familiar connections, Haukea personally preferred such a perception to a universally acknowledged concept.
Fairhug: And again, without wanting to be too general, is this a usual way of thinking for a lot of Risians?
Willow: ::Considering:: My perception on the matter is skewed due to my own family dynamics. However, I don’t believe so. ::The statement provided room for false perception::
Fairhug: Well, I think it's fantastic. Where I come from, we are very family-orientated. We have big families and those families make even bigger communities who all come together often for celebrations of various types. I find comfort in that. Would you say you have a similar experience?
Willow: Yes, I agree, even though your own experience can’t personally match what I am struggling to define by a single word. I view many individuals as family, if not, in a platonic bond, due to an intense and intimate acknowledgement towards each other.
Fairhug: What you're describing sounds a lot like how I feel about our crew.
Gogigobo shifted, appearing to be finding a more comfortable position upon the couch, turning his mug absentmindedly. Haukea respectfully watched, contemplating. Through honest acknowledgement, on several occasions, by virtue of internal monologue, there was a deep consideration of several Starbase 118 crew as family. Though none were actively defined, or labeled by the terms siblings, cousin etc.
Willow: I do, being honest, have to admit I find myself replacing words such as colleague or crew with family on a number of occasions. But why do you, personally, consider us that way?
Fairhug: Sure. None of you are related to me by blood, but we have all bonded over time and through shared experiences. I consider you all to be my extended family and this base to be my home away from home. I think it would be harder to *not* think that way, wouldn't you agree?
Willow: Wholeheartedly.
Fairhug: So, do you think that makes it harder for you to control your emotions? If so, how can we try to address that?
The preceding incidence that defined her current range of undefinable emotional turmoil, sat on the precipice, in part, of an illusive construction of familiar bondage. The Starbase 118 crew developed connection due, partially, because of a sequence of events representing pivotal elements in individually intertwined lives.
Willow: While I acknowledge I do often view the crew as family, it is a separate emotional state from that of my Risian tree. The crew have planted, perhaps a completely separate tree for me to grow attached to.
Fairhug: Response
Willow: How I emotionally manage it? That, I’m unafraid to say, I don’t know.
Fairhug: Response
Willow: I’ve never developed emotional coping strategies before.
Fairhug: Response
Lt. Haukea-Willow
Chief of Security - Crisis Response
Starbase 118 Ops
M239512BG0
Ad Astra Per Aspera/To The Stars With Difficulty - Una Chin-Riley
