Ensign Ivalyan Keros - Black and Blue

[Ivalyan Keros]

((Sickbay – USS Aurora-A))

She sensed some kind of agitation from him. At her? At the surroundings? Had she messed up again?

oO Projection of irrational insecurities, coupled with... Just shut up! Oo

Ivalyan shook her head. She was overthinking as always. Ryden was a nice guy! And not the trademarked kind. He was genuinely a good man. He also seemed a hair taken aback by her question. Well, the train of thought made sense in her head, but she had sprung it on him like a vreelo falling from the branches. No one wanted a vreelo on their head.

Sylvax: Missions? I have served on 6 missions since being posted to StarBase 118 ::He considered the second question for another moment.:: But nervous? Absolutely.

Ivalyan: You seem so c-calm. you were such a good leader on D-drakos, sir. ::blushing:: I mean, you're always a g-good leader. But you g-got an award! ::sighing:: Let me try again? How d-do you handle the nerves? How d-do you stay on t-top of th-th-... of it all. 

She set the pack of gel she was holding down and turned to look at him. He was reclining against the bed. She was struck by how... elegant he looked. His black eyes in particular were striking as he turned them to her.

Sylvax: Being nervous doesn't mean you aren't prepared. And it definitely doesn't mean you can't do what needs to be done. ::He offered her a small smile.:: Most of the time, I think it just means you understand that what you're doing matters.

Ivalyan: ::nodding:: I see...

That's what scared her though. She thought Starfleet would be a nice change of pace from the constant partying and socializing of her homeworld, and it was, but... But now the things she did mattered. The words she said, the actions she took... And that "mattering: scared her almost as much as disappointing her boss did

oO Is he my boss? You should really know Keros...Oo

She fidgeted with her comm badge while she thought.

Sylvax: And for what it's worth, Counselor, you don't need to be nervous around me.

Oh gods. Had she messed up? Why would he say that? Was he about to say something? She panicked, trying her best to swallow the internal turmoil. Nothing made her more nervous than someone telling her not to be nervous. Even when it was Ryden.they were (probably) going to be working closely together in the future again. Maybe it was time to just... talk.

Ivalyan: Thank you d-doctor.

A beat passed.

Sylvax: What about you? How do you think you did on Drakos Prime? ::He gave her a small, encouraging smile.:: Because from where I was standing, you were a valuable part of our team.

Well, he had to say that didn't he? 

oO Blandishment? Sycophantic flourishing? Or just being nice? Oo

Ivalyan: Well sir. I... I'm not proud of my performance. 

She stood straight, hands behind her back, eyes dim. Work mode.

Ivalyan: I exhibited textbook signs of acute stress response consistent with first-exposure combat trauma. The subject froze, had impaired motor initiation, and relied on external intervention for functional recovery. To be blunt sir? Willow acted. You adapted. I stood there. That's the facts. I say this not to garner sympathy or seek vapid praise. 

Ryden: ?

Ivalyan bit her lip and crumpled a little. She knew she was being hard on herself. That had never changed.

Ivalyan: You all just l-look like h-heroes. 

Ryden: ?

Ivalyan turned her back to him, rummaging through some more cabinets that she had already checked and hiding her tears.

Ivalyan: Thank you sir. I m-mean it. You all have d-done so much for me. I p-promise to not let you down..

Ryden: ?

--

Ensign Ivalyan Keros

Counselor

SB 118 Ops

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