BACKSIM- Set at the end of shore leave, after Yael’s surgery but before the masquerade ball.
((Main Sickbay - Starbase 118))
Sheila had hardly left Yael’s side since he went to sleep; the rest would provide him with a great deal of healing. Yet for herself she couldn’t. As a doctor she could have called in relief, backup, however rest on her part wasn’t going to be possible so she stayed by the Ensign’s side the whole time. Once and only once did she leave back to her office in order to settle into her wheelchair.
Now Sheila had been awake for hours, each passing by slowly, sifting through the raw uncomfortable pain. Like before a double mindedness was noticed. Half was a relief at Yael being on the mend. The other half stiff, a constant look over her shoulder, a shift of her eyes to the very corners in order to keep track of the shadows her mind externally had her preserving. Shadows of her past telling her to run back to what made her hurt. Frankly that’s why she stayed by Yael’s side. A positive affect in the middle of a mind numbing fork in the road. A detour not a set back.
Bailey: Hey, morning. How you feeling?
The Denobulan hybrid rubbed his face, moving somewhat gingerly, and yawned as we woke. He wondered how his sleep cycle was going to survive all these unscheduled twists.
Yael: Good morning… is it morning?
He’d slept all night.
She’d not slept all night.
Bailey: Morning yes.
Yael: You look tired. Have you been here all night?
He was still a bit foggy, but much more coherent than he’d been when he initially woke the night before.
Maybe it was the fact that her neck still hurt or maybe the fact that she had not slept in the slightest as to why she was a tad irritated. Irritated at nothing in particular.
Bailey: I haven’t slept so yes. How are you feeling?
Currently she was trying with all her might to avoid her pain. Yes she would have to address the emotions with Yael. Yael was the only person as of now that she wanted to discuss it with. Maybe German too but he was off dealing with his own turmoil; it would be rude to contact him about something he knew little about.
Yael: I feel… ::he stopped to consider the hurt fleshy bits::... alright. There’s no pain.
Bailey: Mind if I? ::She waved around the medical tricorder she had previously had sitting in her lap::
Laying still, which wasn’t hard for him at the moment, he let her sweep the medical tricorder across him.
Sheila unlocked the wheels on her chair so that she could roll up parallel to Yael’s bedside. Here she waved her tricorder over his body. What came up on the tricorder screen was to be expected. Yael was healing even if after his sleep his system was being slow to wake up.
Bailey: All systems are healing nicely. Might take a couple more hours for everything to come up to speed but that’s to be expected after being under anesthesia.
Yael: Thank you.
Now that Yael was awake it should have been standard to leave him to rest. Sheila on the other hand even with how exhausted she felt couldn’t. Just couldn’t. She had left her sisters. German had left too. In the current moment abandoning folks was not a goal of her’s. She would likely end up crying if any of the other current crew members left the station. Panic likely to set in if they got injured without her being there to stitch them back up.
Bailey: I’m sorry. Can I get you anything? Water, something to read? Eat?
There was something egging at him, something he couldn’t put his finger on, but she was off her game somehow. Was it lack of sleep? Was he seeing things from being under anesthesia?
Yael: Perhaps… some company? If you’re not busy?
Sheila nodded. Again she wasn’t going anywhere.
Maybe it was obvious too that she was in pain despite her attempts to make the twinges in her neck minimal. Maybe too the twitches were a sign of extreme anxiety, a step beyond her normal controlled head shakes. At the thought her head shook violently and only semi painlessly. What embarrassed her most was how obvious the movement was. Yael was bound to notice.
Bailey: I’m sorry. Sorry, my neck is stiff. ::That was a lie which she hoped wasn’t obvious. But if it was noticed perhaps a positive topic would come out of it::
Yael: It seems to be more than physical fatigue.
Bailey: I...ummm…::For the first time it seemed she was truly at a loss for words::
Yael: It’s not about my injury, is it? I think a little more sleep and I’ll be good.
Bailey: Sleep always does the body good. And no it’s not your injury. I stand by the fact you're healing well; above and beyond. ::Sigh:: I’ve got a lot weighing on me.
Yael: Well… you’ve got my undivided attention here for a while. ::it wasn’t as if he was going anywhere soon:: Why not tell me what’s bothering you?
If the ache in her neck was anything to go by then Sheila did have something. The need, the willingness, to speak about it almost ate her up inside. Yet she easily could walk away, give in to that little voice of her uncle. Go crawling back to what hurt her. Or she could even change the subject.
Bailey: You should rest.
Yael: I know you’re not one to complain about the little things, so if something is eating at you, I imagine it’s important.
Bailey: Can past trauma cause dissociation?
Yael: Oh, yes. It definitely can.
It seemed that now the floodgates were opening right on up and wide.
Bailey: I don’t know if you’ve read my file yet.
Yael: When I first came aboard, yes.
Bailey: I well happen to know a bad man. He hurt me. I know who and what he’s done. But the disconnect. How do I….I feel so out of step.
Ashley thought on it for a moment. If she was dwelling on a past injury caused by a person she trusted, she could be experiencing an assortment of issues. Some form of PTSD was possible, or Betrayal Trauma. Narcissistic Abuse was keen to leave a sharp mark on any of their victims.
Yael: Have you ever been counseled for this before? Specifically?
Lieutenant Sheila Bailey
Chief Medical Officer
Starbase 118 Ops
No woman should ever suffer at the hands of men - Sara Lance; Legends Of Tomorrow
Ensign Ashley Yael
Starbase 118 Ops