Ensign Lyra Voss: Little Hermit Vacations
Sarah Terry
((Evan Ross’s Quarters; Upper Habitat Section, StarBase 118))
Fun at parties, self-deprecating, and apparently unable to stop apologizing or asking for reassurance. Where was her brain tonight? But Ross was right: there was a reason you did hard things with a crew - with a group of people you could trust, who you could turn to when you needed to laugh your way through something, or to wail and scream. People who understood, and could make you feel a little less ridiculous when you were standing in their kitchen, crying into their garlic. She found a bit of a real smile again.
Voss: Yeah… I guess it just… I’m trying to feel proud of the good bits, instead of dragging myself over the coals about the bad bits too much. It’s just easier said than done. Commander McLaren told me I did a good job though, and I feel like she’s not very easy to impress so… yay? What about your first mission? What was it like?
He gave an impressed nod.
Ross: Oh, McLaren's commendation doesn't come easy. You should be proud! ::he laughed and shook his head:: I certainly didn't get any after my first rodeo.
She raised an eyebrow, as she stepped back to the island and ran her knife through the garlic one more time for good measure.
Voss: Oh no? Just how bad was it?
He grimaced as he recounted the story.
Ross: It got a little messy. I came in mid-mission. They sent me off straight from the Academy - graduation night on Friday, USS Narendra on Saturday. First assignment, new crew ::he gave a little dramatic pause:: and half of the officers body-swapped. Can you imagine? ::he chuckled:: You should ask Wethern after a drink or two, I'm sure he can tell you a lot about walking Lieutenant Marsh's shoes.
Four above… bad enough to get dropped in in the middle of a mission, but body swapping? When you hardly knew anyone anyway? How were you supposed to have any idea what was going on? She found herself extremely grateful that she’d been assigned here during a shore leave.
Voss: That’s wild. I don’t know how you could keep any of that straight.
Ross: Ugh. Yeah, it's a bit... I messed up. They sent me in to fix the body swap, but nobody had told me the natives on the planet didn't know about it - and during a comm call with the Commodore - Commodore Taybrim himself, he was still our CO back then - I just... said it. Out loud. Going like - "Oh yeah, about the body swap issue..." - For everyone in the room to hear. Disclosing crucial information to a potential enemy. On my first day as an INTELLIGENCE OFFICER.
Lyra could feel her stomach drop just imagining it. She was certainly no stranger to saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. That dead silence that sucked all the air out of the room the moment it came out of your mouth. His cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but at least he was able to laugh about it now. She giggled as she shook her head.
Voss: I mean, there is a kind of incredible poetic irony to spilling secrets as an intel officer. It’s a bold move.
Ross: I know, I know. It's just a stupid little story compared to what you've been through. But that day - believe me, I was mortified. Convinced they would kick me out again - but here I am, still doing jazz hands and all.
Voss: No, it’s not stupid! I can only imagine - I would have been praying for death. ::grinning:: I’m glad you’re still here. And curious how many drinks it takes to see jazz hands come out.
He pushed the chopping board with basil over the kitchen island, waiting for new instructions.
Ross: I never really thought I'd last long. Let alone get through the Academy. But somehow it all worked out in the end. How about you? Did you always want to do this?
Before she answered, she looked around the kitchen for another pan. It seemed a little forward to just start going through someone’s kitchen cabinets.
Voss: Well… some version of this, yes. Also, small sauce pans?
He found one for her and she scooped in the basil and garlic, and then grabbed the bottle of olive oil near the stove and poured in enough to cover the herbs inside.
Voss: I knew I wanted to study the stars for… almost as long as I can remember, really. To study the world in general. I was the type of kid who couldn’t stop asking questions - I used to drive my parents up the wall. I wanted to know everything, and if I couldn’t learn it fast enough, I was inconsolable. It made me this kind of… I don’t know. This insatiable ball of excitement and anxiety. There was this bewildering, mysterious, magical universe out there and I just wanted to be in it. But honestly, ::laughing softly:: for a long time, I guess I pictured myself as some… some crazed hermit out in a remote outpost with nothing but telescopes to keep me company.
Ross: ?
Voss: I felt a little strangled growing up. Big family, even bigger expectations. I just wanted to get away from all of it. My initial plan was to go right from the Academy to the Daystrom Institute and live out my hermit dreams, but… the Academy was rough. The adjustment to life on Earth and trying to navigate how to be one of the only telepaths in the room… I didn’t handle it well.
Ross: ?
She moved the pan to the stove and put it over a low heat to infuse while they worked on the rest of the recipe.
Voss: It just… I dealt with it by not dealing with it. I pulled back from everyone. Did nothing but go to class, study, and barely sleep. After a year and a half of that, I… I broke down. Took a leave of absence, went back home, convinced myself that I’d failed at the only thing I’d ever really wanted. It was all very dramatic.
She laughed, but it was still a painful memory. She’d left mid-second trimester of her sophomore year, and had basically gone back to Bellonphain and refused to come out of her room for a month.
Ross: ?
Voss: Amusingly… well, I guess not amusingly, but it was my mother who convinced me to go back. Even though she hated that I wanted to be a scientist. For all our issues, she… she wants me to be happy. Took about a year of therapy to actually make it back, but by the time I did, I was in a much better place. And I realized that I don’t want to be a hermit. Well, only a little. Little hermit vacations. ::smiling:: With pasta nights in between.
Ross: ?
Voss: You said you were in cargo before you joined Starfleet, right? What made you want to switch? Oh and also speaking of the pasta… ::she looked with trepidation at the sticky, floury mass on the counter:: I think we might be better off restarting the pasta from scratch. Do you have a kitchen scale?
Ross: ?