Lieutenant Commander Lael Rosek: With A Vengence
Lael Rosek
OOC: All thoughts and feelings belong to the character.
((“The Den” Lounge, Caitian Spacedock))
::They’d discussed it before hand and had agreed to limit any public displays of affection in front of everyone. Both had a professional reputation to maintain after all. The only affection she offered as they moved toward the bar to order their drinks was to briefly brush the back of her hand against his. A glance around the room had her tensing. Jansen Orrey. The last person she’d expected to see here. She wasn’t aware that he’d resumed service with Starfleet. Last she’d checked, he’d been on Earth.::
Galven: Is something wrong?
Rosek: ::shakes her head and murmurs:: Old boyfriend is all. ::grimaces:: I had no idea he was even serving aboard the Veritas.
Galven: I doubt anything is going to happen.
Rosek: ::scowls:: I’m not particularly pleased to be sharing the same air, no, so I’d prefer to avoid him as much as reasonably possible tonight.
Galven: Let’s just have a positive evening. It’ll be okay.
::She opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by the approach of two familiar faces. Shaking thoughts of Jansen from her mind, she offered a gentle smile to Roshanara and Tristam. She’d missed both of them dearly. Though she had been a bit uncertain of Tristam the first time she’d worked with him, she’d grown to enjoy his offbeat sense of humor and straightforwardness.::
Rahman: Commander Rosek... ::turns to Galven:: Lieutenant. Good to see you both.
Galven: ::nods and smiles:: It’s always a pleasure, ma’am.
Rosek: ::smiles:: Captain. ::to Core:: Tristam. Good to see you both again.
Core: Response
Rahman: My condolences on the loss of the Montreal, but I read the reports and attended Commander Mei'konda's court martial. The valor of your crew was highlighted throughout.
::Fortunately, she hadn’t been aboard when the ship had been destroyed. She’d been busy aboard the freighter evacuating the captives. She spared a glance at German. It wasn’t surprising that the crew had performed admirably. They were amazing officers and she was proud to serve with each and every one of them. She’d made a few notes of her own with regards to their performance.::
Galven: So many memories on the Montreal in just a few months, but I appreciate your kind words, Captain.
Rosek: ::smiles wanly:: It is sad to lose a home, yes. But from what the crew has told me, they’re excited about our new assignment. A Galaxy-class ship equipped with quantum slipstream drive. It’s a shame I’m not Chief Engineer. ::smirks:: But that won’t stop me from spending some time in the bowels helping Lieutenant Harkrow fine tune her.
::With a smirk, he glanced over at her and shook his head.::
Galven: It seems like my First Officer misses the yellow collar.
Rosek: ::chuckles:: Once an Engineer, always an Engineer I suppose.
Core: Response
Rahman: Lieutenant, I'm sure you must be quite eager to soon be in charge of the science department of a Galaxy class starship.
Galven: I’m more than eager, Captain, and more than ready for this assignment. Especially where we’ll eventually be at. So full of undiscovered country and new places.
::Lael stood silently beside him, offering her support with a brief smile flashed in his direction before returning her attention to the two officers in front of them. His passion for his work was just one of the many things she adored about him. The more she got to know him, the more she appreciated him.::
::Though she doubted she’d ever completely understand him, maybe it was for the best that he remained a bit of a mystery. That was the magic, after all. She fought the temptation to slid her hand through the crook of German’s arm and grasp his elbow. Instead, she just subtly stepped closer. It would have to be enough. She mentally grimaced. This was going to be a long evening.::
Core: Response
Rahman: Response
Rosek: ::smiles wanly:: Well enough. ::smile wavers:: I’ve already had my mandatory counseling appointment. Can’t give Starfleet any excuse not to renew my commission.
::She felt the brush of his hand against hers and the briefest glimpse of his affections. The feelings surprised her, but the corners of her lips lifted just a bit more. Just knowing that he was with her made what would otherwise be an overwhelming social gathering easier to handle. Her social anxiety had only gotten worse, likely the remnants of the trauma Lenik had inflicted on her. But with German, those feelings faded into the background. He made her feel safe and cherished.::
Galven: She’s been a tremendous XO for the crew. Obviously she has my support.
::She blushed at the compliment. If he was anyone else, she would have said he was just biased. But not German. Over the last several months, she’d learned that even if he did make a mistake every so often, he was an honorable man and greatly valued his position with Starfleet. He was able to maintain objectivity, making the compliment even more flattering.::
Rahman/Core: Responses
::She returned to simply listening, not wanting to talk about what had happened with Lenik. Reliving the memories at night through nightmares was more than enough. Though she was still shaken from the mind assault Lenik had performed on her a few different times, it helped to have German beside her. His presence was calming.::
::One night, she’d woken from a nightmare and had been surprised to discover that she could sense his feelings as he slept. It had worried her so much that she’d gone to Sickbay to consult with Doctor Solok. Testing had revealed that her contact with Lenik had somehow increased the sensitivity of her empathic abilities. She’d grimaced when he’d announced her new rating: T2/E4.::
::She no longer needed touch to sense the emotions of others. After Chythar’s departure, she’d been able to come off of the neural suppressants. However, her new rating necessitated that she resume them. The strange thing was that even with the neural suppressants, she was able to sense German’s moods when they were particularly strong. It made her wonder if something about their frequent close proximity hadn’t resulted in her being more sensitive to him.::
::A part of her was happy, seeing that between her empathic abilities and her projection abilities, she had a chance to share a deeper emotional bond with German similar to the one she shared with Chythar. They wouldn’t be able to exchange thoughts, but that was probably for the best.::
Galven: ::nods:: I’m more than excited for Captain Mei’konda. He deserves it. That’s putting it mildly though after all my questions and just putting up with me in general. ::chuckles::
Rahman/Core: Responses
Galven: ::to Rahman:: Which reminds me, did you get my email?
Rahman/Core: Responses
Any: Response
((OOC: Will continue here as needed.))
::Reluctantly, Lael watched German move to interact with a familiar face or two across the room and she suddenly felt awkward standing there alone with Roshanara and Tristam. She worried her lower lip a little before taking a long drink of her tea. The person mixing the drinks for the affair had been happy to stir a bit of brandy into the tea.::
::It was mostly to calm her nerves and to still the shaking in her hands that had started up just a couple of days after the incident with Lenik. She hoped it was only temporary. The last thing she needed was to be removed from duty because her hands prevented her from doing her job.::
::She opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by an unfamiliar voice.::
G'var:::Standing at rigid attention::-Captain Rahman, with your permission Lieutenant Ukinix have a request we would like to ask of you.
Rahman: Response
Ukinix: Response
::Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jansen with a little girl on his hip. She tensed, fighting to keep her breathing even as memories of Jansen’s alternate counterpart tossing Jax up into the air flickered across her mind’s eye. This was twice in two months that she’d been forced to recall a painful time that she’d much rather forget. Her gaze dropped from Jansen’s face, doing her best to pretend he wasn’t there. Her gaze flickered to German, who was conversing with Teller. She would give anything to have him beside her right now.::
G'var:::Taking a deep breath::-We have thought it through Captain, and we just need your approval for the move.
Ukinix: Response
Rahman: Response
::When Jansen stepped in closer, Lael took what she hoped was a subtle step away from the group, distancing herself from the memories and from him. She kept her gaze steadily on a viewport, pretending to be staring out it. As he spoke, she mentally grimaced at the slight catch in her breath, praying no one else noticed. Why the hell did the man make her so nervous?::
::No. It wasn’t Jansen. It was the memories that came along with his presence nearby. She’d spent the last couple of years trying to pretend that Over There hadn’t happened and yet, he stood within her sight, a reminder of the hell and loss she’d endured during that time.::
Orrey: Well from an official, counselor’s perspective,I think it would be helpful for both of them to at least try it out for a bit.
::The sound of his voice elicited more flashbacks.::
((Flashback))
((Rosek and Orrey Shared Quarters, USS Gorkon))
{{Time Index: 239304}}
::Lael laid in her bed staring at the wall, her eyes red and puffy from the tears. She pulled her knees up to her chest, closing her eyes as she rocked in an attempt to soothe herself. It had been endless days of hell and fear. She was nowhere without the comfort and support her younger brother so often provided.::
::There had been another close call today and it had been more than she could bear. They still weren’t safe, but she’d been awake for nearly two days and she needed to sleep and to eat. But she wasn’t hungry and the solace that sleep usually offered was now plagued by nightmarish visions of an unknown future.::
ORREY: ::Jansen entered the bedroom of their shared quarters with a tray of food and drink. Simple fruits and some light meat with a nice relaxing tea.:: Here now love. ::He sat the food down on the bedside table and sat down beside her pulling her into his arms and holding her while rubbing her back.:: I am here. I have you. It is all safe.
ROSEK: ::chokes:: But we’re not! Any minute a Dominion ship could blow us to pieces or the Jem’Hadar could storm the ship and-- ::chokes on a sob:: I almost died, Jansen. What’s going to happen if you can’t bring me back next time?
ORREY: I will try harder. ::His voice was still strong and confident. He purposefully chose to not think about her laying on the biobed.::
ROSEK: ::swallows:: What if it’s not enough?
ORREY: Then I WILL try HARDER. ::Jansen got his eyes on hers and kept them locked there.:: I won’t lose you to this hellish landscape. Period.
::Lael wished that she had his conviction. Home was a distant memory now, replaced by the hell that was her life. She couldn’t remember what it was like to be happy...what it was like to WANT to get up out of bed in the morning. The day was infinite darkness and the night offered no more security. She went through the motions if for no other reason than Jansen pushed her to do so. If it wasn’t for him, she’d have succumbed long ago.::
ORREY: Come on now. Please eat a little and let’s get you to get some rest, yes?
ROSEK: ::murmurs:: My stomach hurts.
ORREY: What kind of hurt? ::His hand immediately slid down to cradle her stomach.::
ROSEK: ::murmurs:: Pressure. ::moves his hand to where it hurts:: Like somebody’s twisting my insides.
ORREY: ::Jansen made her lay back and felt around the area she put his hand.:: Hold on.
::Jansen got up and moved out to the living area to retrieve his tricorder and had it open starting a scan before he got back on the bed.::
::Lael sighed, trying to lay as still as possible. It seemed to help at least a little.::
ORREY: ::Jansen turned the tricorder toward her.:: See here? ::He showed her the readout.:: It says I am scanning a very attractive very normal woman who needs a good supper prepared by loving hands and a good night’s rest being protected by those same hands.
ROSEK: ::smiles wanly:: Really? I didn’t know a tricorder could tell you all that.
ORREY: At this point I think I heard my cupboard talk in my office so….
ROSEK: ::presses a kiss against the palm of his hand:: How do you always know what to say to make me feel better?
ORREY: ::Jansen flexes the scarred up hand against her soft cheek and smiles at her.:: Love is blind…...and at least a T4..::He gives her a wink and leans down to steal a kiss.::
ROSEK: ::murmurs:: Lay with me?
::Jansen laid his tricorder off to the side and laid down stretching across the bed putting an arm around her.::
ROSEK: I miss home.
ORREY: I know. But at least we have each other.
{{END FLASHBACK}}
::She could feel the tightness in her chest worsening and she was sure by now that those around her could tell something was wrong. She definitely couldn’t hide it from the two strong telepath/empaths present. She’d be an open book to Tristam and to Raissa. A panic attack. Now. Hell. This was the worst time for one.::
::Most of the time she was able to keep a tight lid on them. But this one...it had come literally out of nowhere and so she wasn’t ready for the freight train that had come barreling down the tracks. She heard the conversation around her as though it were miles away, barely registering what was being said.::
Moonsong/Rahman: Response
Natalia: ::offering her grasping wave:: Wee! Gee! Rara!
::The little girl’s sudden exclamation made Lael jump and her gaze flew to the little face, delight clear in the girl’s features. She’d never be able to explain it, but the innocence there was a balm, bringing her back into the present moment. Raissa had been pregnant when she’d left the Veritas and Lael had been sad that she’d never get the opportunity to hold the little girl. As she studied the little girl’s features more closely, she was struck with a realization. Her gaze flickered to Jansen’s face and a pained grimace crossed her features.::
Rosek: ::murmurs:: I--Excuse me.
::She was barely able to get the words out as she left the group, not waiting for a response. As much as she wanted to leave, she couldn’t. It was her duty as first officer and she had an obligation to her crew. She blinked back the tears that were gleaming in her eyes as she worked to find a safe corner of the room well away from Jansen and well away from anyone else who might be curious enough to pry. Moving toward where the drinks were being made, she traded her tea for a glass of brandy over ice and took a large drink. After a few moments, she was able to pull herself together enough that she wasn’t going to crumble to pieces, but not enough that she was going to actively seek out any social experiences at the moment.::
::The sound of someone beside her made her jump and she forced a smile onto her lips, hoping that it was convincing.::
Teller: Good to see you again, 'Chief.' I'm glad you're alright.
Rosek: ::smiles wanly:: Thank you, Lieutenant. It’s good to see you, too. ::pauses:: Congratulations on your promotion.
::Though she didn’t feel remotely like joking around with Teller, she knew it was what he expected. After all, it had been the norm for their interactions aboard the Veritas. She had no desire for him especially to have the remotest idea of her connection to Jansen. The only person who might have had the slightest clue was on a sabbatical at the moment. It really was better that way. There wouldn’t be near the level of awkward with a stranger.::
Teller: Don't worry, I've been taking good care of her since you left. Barely any major explosions.
Rosek: ::laughs softly and bumps his shoulder with hers:: Barely any, huh? Here I thought the Fleet standard was no explosions.
Teller: Funny you mention that, I was talking to your Chief Cob about explosions just a few minutes ago.
Rosek: ::smiles:: Well, I take no responsibility for that one as I was aboard a freighter at the time trying to get hostages to safety.
Teller: Response
Rosek: ::takes a long drink of her brandy and smirks:: Well, I can’t let you department chiefs have all the fun. Gotta have my own glory.
::It hadn’t been glorious at all, but she suspected her reports conveyed that well enough if a person paid enough attention to the details. The last thing she wanted to think about was Lenik or the little girl that Jansen had situated on his hip. She especially didn’t want to think about a little boy with blue eyes and blonde hair that she’d most likely never see again. Her gaze flickered to German and she felt a different sort of tug in her chest, one that dulled the shock of someone she’d hoped never to see again suddenly coming back into her life.::
Teller: Response
::Her gaze flickered to German, who was still busy talking with others. One couldn’t hurt, could it? It would be a soothing balm to the kick her ego and her heart had taken a few moments ago and might actually be a good distraction. No doubt they’d look silly together with her towering a good six inches over him. But that didn’t bother her right then. She needed a way not to think about the world around her.::
Rosek: ::smiles wanly:: Have you had a chance to review the message I sent over about the Reskari?
Teller: Response
Rosek: ::smiles and nods:: It really does have fascinating applications across a variety of fields.
Teller/Anyone: Response
---
Lieutenant Commander Lael Rosek
Executive Officer
USS Astraeus, NCC-64927
I238110RH0