LtCmdr Connor Dewitt - Family Time
Tim
(( Dry Dock Lookout, Deck 6, Deep Space 33 ))
Connor had almost taken the uniform off. He had gotten as far as the second button, and then he had put the second button back where it had been. The picnic was a picnic. It was also a scheduled item on a duty officer’s calendar, and he had not yet learned how to leave those pips behind when he left his quarters. Ayemet had watched him decide. She had said nothing about it. That, in his experience, might have been worth more than her saying something about it.
Also, Connor had not shaved. Third day running. He had, for the first tim in his life, looked at his reflection this morning and thought: leave it. The small dark stubble along his jaw was on the wrong side of Starfleet regulation by about 72 hours. Ayemet had a running series of jokes about it. He had a running series of doubts.
He tugged the jacket down at the waist and stepped through the lookout doors. It looked like somebody had emptied half the station’s arboretum into this place since Connor had been here the last time. And it smelled almost like a place with weather and soil. Beyond the window, the Khitomer sat in her cradle with the nacelle housings off and one warp coil hanging “mid-air”. The engineer in him got nervous as a workbee was making the slow, precise pass around it. He watched it for a beat before he made himself look at anything else.
When he spotted Amelia, he saw that Talia had just arrived and wondered how he had not seen her on his way here. They hugged. Then Statler Junior got scratched. Statler tolerated it. Probably on the hope that it would be repaid in food. Sometimes that bat reminded him of Nolen.
He walked closer, and before he could say anything, Amelia came for him.
She hugged him tight and long. It meant so much more to Connor than a simple greeting. It was a moment of restoration and of gathering strength without saying a word. He put his arms around her and held on. He had to learn to accept it. And although he was not ready to admit it, she reminded him of Christine.
Semara: Hi, Connor.
Dewitt: It’s good to see you.
Ohnari: Response
He held on until she seemed ready, and just a beat longer so she was the one to let go. Amelia stepped back, and he got a proper look at her, confirming that his choice of uniform had been the wrong one. Connor took the chance and engulfed Talia with his arms. They’ve been through so much together. She was the constant that carried him through life aboard Khitomer and he was glad she did.
Then, they followed her to the nearby picnic table. He caught himself glancing back at the workbee outside the window and pulled his eyes off it deliberately. The Khitomer was not the room he was in, and he was trying to remember that.
Semara: :: A little smirk over her shoulder :: I guess I gotta lotta news for the two a’ you… :: Beat :: But first things first!
The first officer looked at the food and was sure that he was at the right place at the right time. He sat down next to Talia and took a deep breath to take in all the appetizing smells.
Semara: Help yourselves! I made stuffed shells and salad. :: Beat :: And I think I finally got a Toscra recipe I’m happy with for a treat. :: Beat :: ‘Course there’s some uttaberries and cheese as well as tea, and I brought a fresh peach for everyone… And two for Statler.
Connor reached for a plate, started to put food on it, and wondered when he had last eaten. His stomach felt empty. The food was hot where it needed to be, and the water in his glass had been cold. Something in him wanted to examine the rustic basket that had produced this food, but he did his best to tone it down.
Dewitt: I feel like I have not eaten in days. I am going to enjoy this properly. ::beat:: That is both a threat and a promise.
Ohnari: Response
He took a first bite and let his shoulders drop a fraction. The heat and spice were exactly right. He could taste every ingredient that had been carefully selected by Amelia. The peach next to his plate had a small imperfection that told him it came from a real orchard and not a replicator’s imagination. He was, for one full beat, in the same room as the food.
Amelia drew a PADD out. He watched her set it down on the table between them. Connor put down his fork beside his plate. Amelia’s hand hovered over the PADD for a beat to long before she let go of it.
Semara: It’s from Tori. :: A long beat :: Just… read it. It’s addressed to all of us.
He did not pick it up, but moved it a little closer between Talia’s and his plate. Connor had learned to skim through reports over the last month or two. But he knew Tori’s words were worth every second, so he started to read slowly.
—
Dear Connor and Talia and Mom,
I apologize for not writing sooner. Kael and I have been travelling since we parted. It seems the habit of rushing away from one place to the next as if still chased by an enemy out for our blood hasn’t been easy to leave behind. It’s only the last little while we’ve stayed in one place… And now we’re talking about putting down roots for the first time in our lives.
I suppose the news I must tell you first is that Kael and I have spoken to Temporal Investigations. Please don’t be worried! All is well - or as well as can be. We made this decision together. You cannot be forever hiding the truth of us as Starfleet Officers, and we owe you everything for this new chance. Besides, Kael and I can’t run the rest of our lives: not from the Alliance, not from a chronology that doesn’t exist any more, and not from the DTI. The DTI agreed to give us some freedom and peace, especially when they discovered they were unable to contact their counterparts in our future. It’s hard to say if the Alliance prevented the DTI’s formation, or if Sencha radiation permanently disrupted the flow of time there, or if our timeline simply no longer exists… Either way we’re here to stay.
So now we’re living in Ohmallera. I’m sure you’re wondering: why there? Why live somewhere that’s seen so much tragedy?
It’s hard to put into words. It feels familiar, yet the people here give me something I think I need. They’ve seen their whole world destroyed - their coworkers, their friends, their family - all gone in a flash, and they’ve chosen to still live and re-build. They give me courage to do the same, when I still don’t know if I have it for myself. This city doesn’t pretend that it will truly ever be the same, much like Kael and I cannot forget what we’ve done and lived through. But Ohmallera hasn’t given up, not the way I nearly did.
I won’t lie: living here started out hard. I’m not used to being around so many other people, let alone so many other telepaths. The city has a lot of people in not a lot of space, and the noise inside and outside my head is a lot more than I expected. I still don’t know how you lived around so many other people. The lessons you taught me as a child have helped, and I’m getting better at not just blocking it all out until I’m exhausted and crying… But I still have a long way to go. Kael has also been my pillar of strength. He comes with me almost every day to Lake Etriluna - it’s not far, and lets me have a break from the crowds. It’s beautiful. The Plorinna blooms are everywhere around me as I write this.
We have a small place in town. Not so long ago, I met a neighbor. It’s the first place we’ve been somewhere long enough for that to happen. I was nervous. Every Betazoid alive can feel what’s inside of me bleeding out into everywhere around me, and sense the way I hide things I don’t want seen or felt. Only this may be the only place in existence where that’s not unusual for a Betazoid. When I met her, she knew right away, of course, that I nurse my dark places. But… I knew she was the same. I’ve never had that before. Later, I learned she’s the same age as me and grew up in Ohmallera, so she was only 14 when the attack happened. We still haven’t spoken about it, but I think we both prefer it that way for now. We didn’t talk long that first time, but she invited me to come to her painting class. I don’t know why - I’ve never painted, and honestly I’m terrible - but I guess I was curious about her so I went.
Now I’m going every week. It’s strange, having a Betazoid friend for the first time. We’ve met almost every day this week on some excuse. She says I’m strange - I clearly practice Casperian tea customs, but I don’t have the accent. (She says I sound Human.) I know far too much science, but I’m not like any academic, researcher, or star-weirdo (as she calls you sort) she’s ever met. I’ve never had those things about me really noticed that way or thrown into relief like that before… and I like it. We even talked about therapists the other day. I didn’t hate it.
Not that everything is perfect. I’ve been encouraging Kael to find his people too - I worry he frets over me too much and struggles to go out on his own because of that. Not that I can blame him. I’ve never been even remotely “well” before. Luckily, Ohmallera is a very modern city by Betazoid standards, and has lots of other off-worlders I know he’ll fit in with. I’ve been telling him to join some of the remaining reconstruction and expansion efforts - I know he's itching to build something again. I keep saying: this is a chance to build something that will last, not just take us to the next star system. I think, deep down, he knows I’m right (I’m always right). But I’m giving him time. I think he likes the city, but he’s never been around so many people for so long either. It’s a big change for both of us.
Still, it feels foreign somehow. For the first time, I feel like I fit somewhere. I feel inspired. I feel like I understand the people around me, and they understand me. I want to be a part of this community, to help these people, to build something new and beautiful and add something to the universe for a change instead of taking it away. Some days I still struggle to get out of bed. Some days I think I still see faces of the dead. Some days I still cry for an hour for no reason. And some days I make terrible paintings of Nantahala, other days even worse ones of Lake Etriluna. (They’re truly childish and bad.) More and more days, I simply spend time with Kael (he’s very good about keeping that promise he made me in your sickbay), laugh with new friends, explore the markets, or visit the university library… And sit by the lake.
The things that happened in our timeline will always be with us. It’s hard to not feel guilty about everyone Kael and I left behind and how lucky we are compared to them. I’m not sure if that will ever go away, so I try to focus on the things I can change.
You and the short time we spent together, changing history, will be with us forever, too. We owe this new life - this new chance - to you, and we both mean to make the most of it.
Know that our love for all of you endures for all time, in all times.
Your daughter,
Aleatoranna Violet Semara,
Daughter of the Stars,
Heiress to the Golden Leaf of Semizad
—
When he finished, he stared at the text for a moment longer. He had not thought about Kael and Tori for at least a week. Connor cleared his throat and wiped his eyes. He had been busy with a first officer’s chair and the attempt to reclaim part of his private life. He had been busy worrying about a warp coil hanging in mid-air. He had been busy, in his defense, with the ship. A defense that was not very much of one.
Kael’s grandpa had died a few months ago. He wondered if he should write to Kael and tell him. He wondered whether Kael would know the man he was writing about. In his timeline, he had probably only been a story Connor had told him. And then a feeling of deep regret crept up on him. He had never told his father that he somehow had a grandson.
He looked up at Amelia and just then felt the tear leaving his eye as he wondered if it was just blurred sight or if her makeup was starting to go.
Ohnari: Response
Dewitt: ::a little unsteady:: I have not thought of them for at least a week. ::a beat:: Thanks for showing this to us. I am so glad they are well. I…
He felt his voice failing and cleared his throat again and put on a thin smile.
Dewitt: The shells are the best thing I have eaten in a long time. Thank you.
Ohnari/Semara: Response
He took his fork back into his hand because he needed something to do with it. He nodded at both of them without looking up at once. Then, Connor took another bite of food to remove the bitter metallic taste from his mouth.
Dewitt: Can we write them back? It sounds like we don’t need to keep up radio silence?
Connor took another bite and noticed the food’s effect on his mood. The gravity of the latter slowly disappeared and gave way to something that felt like hope to him.
Ohnari/Semara: Response
Connor’s eyes scanned the letter again. It almost amused him that his son might have found solace in a lake the same way he did. They were so different and yet so much alike. He looked at Amelia, then at Talia.
Dewitt: Do any of you know the place they’re staying? What is it like?
Ohnari/Semara: Response
Tag / TBC...
Executive Officer
USS Khitomer
A239901CD3