BACKSIM: LtCmdr Connor Dewitt - Deal
Tim
((Corridor en route to Conference Room, Deck 1))
Ohnari: ::brittle smile:: Like a part of you has left your being and is now walking and talking all on its own...?
His voice cracked slightly. He paused, forcing himself to meet her eyes, even though shame made him want to look away.
Dewitt: How the hell are we supposed to walk forward knowing we might already be living a future we didn’t choose? ::pause:: How are we supposed to look Nolen and Ayemet in the eyes, tell them we love them, when we might already be accepting a path that ends with losing them?
Ohnari: We don't have any other choice. I love you Connor, but not in that way. And I know your feelings, ::placing her hand over her heart:: I feel them. I know Ayemet is your love. We still don't have answers, but I don't see any future where you willingly walk away from Ayemet, ever. She's my best friend, and I know I would never purposefully cause her pain in such a way.
Her words stung, but not in a way that hurt. More like a truth that needed to be spoken. And even as it settled in his chest, heavy and real, part of him mourned a version of the future he had never imagined until this very day.
Dewitt: I know. And I don’t want to. Walk away, I mean. I can’t picture it either. But… clearly, we did something. Or didn’t do something. Or survived something we weren’t supposed to. And somehow that led to… him.
He swallowed again, throat burning. He wasn’t ready to think about what kind of hell Kael had survived.
Ohnari: ::quietly:: I haven't said out loud to Nolen that I love him. ::laughing without humor:: Isn't that pathetic? He has met my future son, with you and I have never said those words to him. ::chewing her lip, her eyes became unfocused in thought:: All three of them, they have a shadow to them. Connor, ::her voice began to wobble:: I think something truly terrible happened in their timeline...they've been living in survival mode. Did you see his clothes...? They are patched in places and too short in others. Tori's was the same.
Dewitt: Yeah. They looked like they’d just stepped off a battlefield. Like they never stopped running from one. And if this, if he is the result of that kind of survival? Then I think you’re right. Something terrible did happen. Something we’re still blind to.
The words hung between them. Connor’s gaze dropped briefly to the floor before flicking back up to Talia’s face, her features drawn but steady.
What she’d said about Nolen stuck in his mind like a burr: I haven't said out loud to Nolen that I love him. It echoed there, unshakable. Had Nolen said it to her? He didn’t know. And somehow, that made the question worse. Nolen wasn’t like other people. His love, his loyalty, they ran deep but surfaced rarely. He did not always name things. He showed them. Or at least tried to.
So maybe he had said it, just not with words. But so had Talia.
Ohnari: Here is what we are going to do. We are going into that conference room, we're going to meet our son and his companions, and we're going to listen to what they have to say. We are not going to freak out until we have all the information. Then we can freak out...deal?
He hesitated, then gave her a sideways glance, one corner of his mouth twitching in a weary half-smile.
Dewitt: Deal. But I make no promises about the freaking out part.
NT/END
LtCmdr Connor Dewitt
Chief Engineer & Second Officer
USS Khitomer
A239901CD3