Lieutenant JG Amelia Semara - The Beauty of Taking a Chance

[Max]

(( Turbolift, A system of tubes, USS Khitomer ))

A daughter...

A daughter...

A daughter...

A daughter... 

A daughter...

The word, and the woman from the future she'd met who bore the title, seemed to keep turning around and around in Amelia's mind no matter what she did.  No amount of running, no amount of hang time or even pull-ups or leg lifts on her hang board had managed to make the never-ending refrain stop.  At least fatigue in her muscles matched the dull ache in her heart and mind now.

Now Ras had orders that included talking with Tori.  Amelia's daughter.

Artificial gravity pulled Amelia's head back down from its upward angle to Ras to a downward angle at the floor.  The lurch of the turbolift shifting to horizontal motion made her stomach churn a little.  Or maybe that was guilt.

Semara: I didn't want to disrupt the conference.  It was bad 'nough as it was...  But I felt like I had to go to her, at least telepathically.  I still ain't sure if it was a good idea.  :: Beat, shaking her head. :: So much hurt, Ras...  I want to believe we can change for her sake, but...

She trailed off and looked back up to Ras once more.  He'd made it pretty clear what he'd believed in the conference.  Or maybe he had - her thoughts had been swirling and all the emotions were kicking up so much dust it was hard to see anything beyond her own nose clearly.

Semara: You really think we can't change things?

A Betazoid lady was expected to keep her composure in any situation, but time-traveling daughters were well outside the training milieu for Betazoid matriarchs.  What a way for the Semara name to go down in the history books.  Assuming those history books still existed in another few decades.

El'Heem: I…I don’t know. I don’t want to believe that. Not being able to change things leads us to oblivion…but…the science isn’t there. Maybe the Admiral was right, maybe the Hobart Hole can do things only a Q can, I don’t know. But my expectations are lower than you can imagine.

She sucked in the cold air between them, and nodded.  Better realism now than regret and grief later.  The universe didn't run on the wishes of a single Betazoid, after all.  That didn't mean she was out of hope, though.  There was always something to hope for.

Semara: Then maybe our best hope is findin' some way of helpin' 'em change what happens when they go back...  Help 'em find a solution for their future, if not ours...

She swallowed down the light rasp in her voice, but there was a rough, low grit to her tone she couldn't hide even if she wanted to.

Semara: I hate this.  I have a daughter, and we don't know how to talk to each other 'cause she thinks she needs vengeance to have peace, and I can't imagine how I raised her to have that in her heart...

Even though Amelia wasn't a mother yet, it felt like she'd already failed Tori.

Semara: When you talk to her... :: Softly :: Will you try to help her?

El’Heem: I’ll do my best. Maybe Tori has the answers we need to fix this. Because if she doesn’t Amelia ::finally turning back to her:: nothing we say or do from now until that lattice raid matters.

A heavy sigh passed her lips as she nodded again.  It was something.  If nothing else, their deaths would take on a new meaning by whatever wisdom they could pass on to the time-travellers before they went wherever it was time-travellers went after failing to change the past.

Semara: Tori said I discovered the basic principles sometime in the future, and shelved the research.  Why would I do that if it couldn't change anything?   There must be somethin'...  Some piece of information, some choice...

As she said the words, she could almost feel the embers of her own belief still there.  Maybe it was old Betazoid philosophy that let her cling by a single finger to the foolish hope that their choices mattered, or maybe there was a way to keep the crew alive and together after all.

El’Heem: I can’t fathom a world where we don’t do everything in our power to stop this.

Amelia nodded, a bizarre little twisting smile forming at her lips.  Her voice seemed to come at her from another place.  Or another time.

Semara: Aleatoranna...  :: A pause :: Such an old-fashioned Semizadi name.  Makes her sound eighty.  I can't get over how ridiculous it is.  :: A little chuckle. :: It's like Humans namin' their kid Prudence or Faith. Or Hope... Or Chance.  :: Her smile slipped :: Translation's actually more like "The Beauty of Taking a Chance..."

Taking a chance on what?

A chance on life.  A chance on love.  A chance on family.

Or a chance on the future.

The turbolift doors opened, but Amelia couldn't find the willpower to move or say anything else.  This wasn't even her deck.  Deck two had passed long ago.  She was rooted there, simply going over the ridges and bumps above Ras' eyes over and over, watching the subtle color changes of his eyes harmonize with the flickerings she felt inside of him.  Her tongue felt as stuck inside her mouth as her feet were to the floor - as if trapped by some sort of invisible amber.

The doors closed again, his long arms opened, and she rushed in to press herself against his absurd frame, holding herself tightly to him as a single high, shuddering gasp escaped her throat.  Some piece of her let go in the embrace, the constant requirement to present herself as a Lieutenant and a Lady giving way for just a moment, giving her space to just be.  But only for a moment - in the space of two more breaths she found her feet steadfastly under her once again, and she let go of him.  Lieutenant and Lady it was going to be.  There was work for both of them if they were going to stop this fate.

She nodded again, and Ras opened the doors and stepped out.

El’Heem: For what it’s worth, I think you’re going to be a wonderful mom.

Semara: :: A squinty grin :: Flatterer...

She couldn't help the little giggle or the jest.

Semara: :: Quieter :: Thank you.

The doors closed again, and she was alone.  Yet not alone.  Tori was still there, just the barest of pressure in her mind even now.

There was still a chance...

NT / END

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Lieutenant Junior Grade Amelia Magnolia Semara

Science Officer - Special Projects

USS Khitomer - NCC-62400

A239710MA0