Lieutenant Ras El'Heem - The confines of an aquarium
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((Docking Ports, Deep Space 33))
It hadn’t been long since Ras stood in this very same docking port, being greeted by Ezra and escorted to the cruise they spent the last few weeks on. He never felt any particular way about this space before, but now it marked a threshold. Ras looked around at how the station temporarily fitted this empty dock for their purposes. Like they were in an aquarium looking out into the cold of space. He couldn’t help but feel like Baba Yaga. Couped up, the world shrunk down to only what’s permissible. A mental note was filed away to requisition for a larger habitat for the girl. His experience here was different, though. They all could come and go as they pleased, but that didn’t stop his pessimism for seeing the tank half full. Maybe the days between then and now had introduced a kind of friction he hadn’t anticipated. He was torn about the last few weeks.
On one hand, he had done what shoreleave was intended to do. He had rested. Walked. Perused museums. Gave his mind to slow, rather than driving it relentlessly forward. There had only been one night of drinking with Connor, and even that felt less like indulgence and more like a pressure valve. Given the circumstances, it seemed justified. Still, trading one stress for another did not facilitate relaxation.
On the other hand, or prosthetic rather, an apt metaphor for the premise, the storm under the surface remained unsettled. His thoughts had turned themselves over constantly. A frothy churn of primordial emotions sloshing around as goop and reforming from the precursors of more limited emotions he had prior to that moment in the sauna. It caused the Kressari to be more prickly than ridged and once or twice he caught himself being sharper than he intended to be. Richard had received an edge of that.
He had not seen Amelia since. There was something to be said about confronting a problem directly. Addressing it plainly before it had a chance to distort one’s judgement. A scientist would normally favor that kind of approach. Hypothesis, identifying the variable, isolating it, understanding it. Ras planned to do the opposite. Place the matter outside the bounds of daily thought whenever he could. It wasn’t exactly denial but more like closing a drawer he knew he would have to open again eventually. Ideally after having moved on.
But he would see her again. That much was certain. Here, at the ceremony. After that, every day aboard the Khitomer. She was in his department, and their work would constantly overlap. They would need to talk, hold briefings together, spend late hours in the lab unraveling problems slowly under quiet and intimate observation. They would stand beside each other the way they always had. It would take time, but he suspected they would return to something resembling what they were before. Colleagues, assuredly. Close friends, inevitably given how their lives were in each other’s hands due to the nature of the work. The difference would be subtler than anyone else could notice. It would become just another weight to carry. Ras tried to imagine it with clinical clarity. Sitting beside her at a console while some anomaly vied for their attention. Watching those small hands he held for a fleeting moment move across the screen. Catching the faint scent of the federation standard soap they all used in the sonic showers, and irrationally, recognizing it as something distinct. Mixing with her natural oils and somehow becoming hers. And her eyes. Those deep, glassy eyes turning toward him occasionally while she considered a problem, studying him in the way she sometimes did.
It wouldn’t destroy him, but it would not be easy either. All those words she had told him while they sat in the steam amounted to nothing more than a spell. Putting him into a state he would never have discovered on his own. And now that he’d experienced it, there was no returning entirely to the person who had existed before. Things would be different for him. For her, maybe. For them.
Fortunately, there was one constant that had always grounded him. Work. He’d throw himself into it. The discipline of focus. The pleasure of piecing together a scientific puzzle. That perfect moment where scientific intrigue gives way to discovery. The mission awaited them again and Ras intended to meet it fully.
He’d just have to make it through the ceremony. Ras stood with his hands in his uniform pockets at the edge of the temporary glass panels that kept them from the vacuum. The crew had all assembled and somewhere in that crowd was her. It was best to look away while he could, to avoid searching for that blonde head. To his left was a bearded Vulcan he had not yet met. Ras casually sized up the man before speaking up.
El’Heem: Lieutenant Ras El’Heem, Science Officer. I haven’t seen you around yet. New posting?
Stros: Response
Ras removed his prosthetic from his pocket and outstretched it towards him.
El’Heem: Well met. How are you liking our ship way out here in the aisles?
The Kressari crossed his arms and stared out into the void.
Stros: Response
Before he could respond he caught movement on the stage out of the corner of his eye.
El’Heem: We’ll be seeing more of eachother, I’m sure of it.
Stros: Response
The crook of his mouth curled up as he nodded to Stros before walking beside him to find a seat in front of the stage. Ras settled near the outer edge to avoid the notorious seat shimmy that was necessary to move deeper into the crowd. As his butt found the cold steel, his eyes rose to the stage to the familiar red uniforms. There was something different about the way the fabric fell and as Shayne stepped forward into the light, Connor’s face sat above the color, instead. He raised an eyebrow. What was he doing in command red? He hadn’t mentioned a posting change when they sat at the bar.
C. Dewitt: As a friend of mine used to say on occasions like this… Here we are again.
There was a quiet murmur through the crowd, and it was evident he was not the only officer who had not gotten the memo. Regardless, he was happy to see the man moving up once more. If anyone’s career was the center of their life, it was Connor and he deserved his flowers.
C. Dewitt: Before we get to why we’re all here tonight, there’s something I want to address first. ::beat:: Some of you may already have heard… Others may have guessed, and a few of you probably saw the uniform and figured it out immedieately. Standing here as the First Officer of the USS Khitomer is not something I expected to happen this soon.
There was pause as the new XO scanned the audience.
C. Dewitt: Captain Shayne and Commander Hobart have led this crew through some of the hardest months most of us have ever seen. Through battles we didn’t choose. Through losses none of us wanted. And through the long shadow of the Lattice Alliance.
Ras sat forward in his chair; his eyes fixed on Connor.
C. Dewitt: And through all of that they reminded us what Starfleet is supposed to be. They reminded us of why we are out here with a family of four hundred.
Come to think of it, he had seen neither commanding officers during shoreleave. There was a waiver in Connor’s voice that made Ras tense.
C. Dewitt: Many of us have carried scars from the last year. Some visible. Some not. ::pause:: Tonight is not just about recognition. It is also about turning a page. A new chapter begins for Khitomer today. One where, hopefully, we begin to heal from what countless fights have left behind.
He watched as Connor stepped out form behind the wooden podium.
C. Dewitt: And every new chapter needs someone to lead it. I haven’t known him for very long. But in the short time, his advice has already had a significant impact on my life. ::pause with a smile:: And you can ask my wife, that’s something I don’t say lightly.
Ras almost chuckled if it wasn’t for the XO’s glance off stage to another man he didn’t know. Was this a complete command restructure? Had Hobart gone and gotten his own ship? Shayne retired after all the medical problems he caused himself? Ras hadn’t expected a bombshell like this, and without the opportunity to say goodbye.
C. Dewitt: I look forward to a new chapter and to seeing where he will lead this crew next. It’s my honor to introduce the new commanding officer of the USS Khitomer… ::a small gesture of invitation:: Commander Naxell.
The man practically skipped on stage with the air of a fairy tale character. There was confidence and stature, but something whimsical about him in a way. The clapping the came from the crowd was uncoordinated. It was obvious the confusion over the matter was being felt. Ras clapped anyways and waited for the new captain to introduce himself.
Naxell/Any: Response
TAGS/TBC
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Lieutenant Ras El’Heem
Science Officer
USS Khitomer (NCC-62400)
K240106RE3