Ensign Marcus Forza: Ashamed
Jason
((Counseling Suite, Deck 6, USS Khitomer))
Forza: Whether you think or not, I assume seeing a random ensign outside your office so late is uh, ::pause:: well reacting the way I was is-
Marcus stopped to take another sip of this lovely hot chocolate. The warmth of the beverage began to slow his breathing down.
Jacin: Is nothing out of the ordinary. You’re talking to the girl who was almost killed by a sentient planet, connected to a station that allowed her vast knowledge of the universe and was…
Marcus saw Jacin stop talking for a moment, as if she was trying to stop herself from revealing too much information. Not that he could blame her, for he was also trying not to give up too much information about his past. Though you could certainly look into it, he didn’t want it known he was looking for his father. That may bring unnecessary attention to him.
Jacin: What I mean to say is that whatever happened it obviously had an actual physical effect on you regardless of whether it was a vision or dream.
Forza: Of course. I simply had a uh, a bad dream. Just, it was really, ::emphasizing:: really vivid. When I woke up, it was like I was still there.
Jacin: Okay so tell me what it was about. Was it something from your past or something that felt like an omen?
Looking back at his hot chocolate, he couldn’t help but feel this overwhelming sense of pressure in his chest. It was like someone or something was pushing on his diaphragm, and he had no immediate solution. Should he tell her? Should he tell this stranger, whom he had never met before? The only other person who knew about this was his friend, and even he didn’t know the details of what happened to Marcus.
Forza: It ::pause:: it was a dream-well nightmare. It was uh, the day I lost my father.
Jacin: That must have been tough to deal with.
Forza: Yeah something like that.
He decided he shouldn’t tell her the details, he couldn’t. He barely wanted to remember, why would he want someone else to relish in the details of what happened that day? Maybe relish wasn’t the right word for this situation, he did come to her office after all.
Jacin: So how did you?
Forza: How did I what? Deal with it? ::sitting back on the couch:: I never accepted it.
Jacin: Response?
Shit! He slipped up and he knew it. How could he have been so absent minded?! He just got done telling himself that he wasn’t going to say anything, and in a moment of half-truths, he gave her a way to find out that his old man wasn’t missing. Was she going to exploit this?
Jacin: Response?
He should just come out with it. He knows it. What’s the harm with someone knowing something that they could just as easily look up in the Federation database should they be so inclined?
Forza: My father is not dead! His file reads, ::emphasizing the words with his hand:: Missing. In. Action.
Jacin: Response?
In a moment of a rage-like grief that he hadn’t felt since he was a teenager, he snapped.
Forza: ::shooting up to his feet:: Because I saw him get shot! In the back, by those Vaadwaur bastards! ::pacing around the room:: He took one, tiny, simple moment, to grab the rifle from my hands and push me towards the shuttle. I resisted. He- ::his breath escapes him for a moment as he falls back on the couch:: He wasn't dead when I was taken by one of the officers.
Marcus looked down, ashamed he had allowed himself to lose his temper this way. Sure he quickly got it back, but the fact that he lost it at all is what shamed him. A Starfleet Officer keeps their cool, always.
Forza: ::not looking at Jacin:: I’m sorry ma’am. I shouldn’t have acted that way.
Jacin: Response?
TAGS/TBC
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Ensign Marcus Forza
Tactical Officer
USS Khitomer (NCC-62400)
K240201MF3