Lieutenant Commander Talia Ohnari ~ The real price of war

[Roxanna Dorion]

((OOC ~ Trigger warning, themes of various family planning decisions during war)) 

(( Sickbay, Deck 6, USS Khitomer ))

Talia Ohnari had dealt with her fair share of unwilling patients. Actually, the majority of her patients, once she put some real thought to it. The fear of doctors and various other medical professionals was extremely common. And something she tried not to take personally. A lot of people assumed doctors only gave bad news, or lectures on how someone wasn't living as healthy as they should, but that came with the mini alphabet of certification letters at the end of her name. 

However, sometimes, she hated it just as much. Giving bad news was the worst part of the job. Giving bad news to someone she had some to care about in an alarmingly short amount of time was akin to torture. Still. It was necessary. 

Ohnari: ::smirking:: I figured you'd be counting down the minutes, so I gave you a lead start. Once it begins, it might feel...a little strange, like you're becoming heavier. The serum is going to be turbo-charging your cells to begin building marrow, as well as some additional medicines to help negate some of the worst of the damage. ::her mood turned to somber, there was another little tidbit of unfun she'd discovered, and wasn't quite sure how to approach.:: There is something...else I need to talk to you about...

The conversation was going to be an uncomfortable one, outside of the fact she was having it with what amounted to her future daughter in law. 

Tori: Is this about my family planning options? :: Beat :: Or rather my lack of options?

A loud buzzing blocked out her thoughts. 

Ohnari: ::blinking rapidly:: Wh-wait. You know?! ::shaking her head:: Of course you know. Why wouldn't you know. ::she collapsed into sitting on the edge of the bed with an exhale:: Well damn. I had this consoling speech all lined up and ready to go and everything. ::smirking, she nudged the woman's legs beside her:: Look at you, being all emotionally stable and well regulated. ::raising an eyebrow:: I am clearly an aunt in name only. ::snorting:: I was an emotional wreck just figuring out how I was going to tell you. ::pausing, there was a wariness to her tone:: Does...Kael know?

As soon as she asked, she wished she hadn't. This was a very private issue, and clearly a private pain. While it was a conversation the two would certainly have...eventually, it was still a very uncomfortable situation. One she felt as if she made it worse by shining a glaring light upon it. 

Ohnari: I'm sorry Tori, I didn't mean to make you feel put on the spot. I completely understand the complexities of that type of conversation...

She could sense how conflicted Tori was, and how much guilt she was carrying. She never should have brought up Kael. He was...sort of possibly her son? But, in a future they were actively trying to prevent...as well as it being not a good look to go all "WHEN WILL YOU GIVE ME GRANDBABIES??!" 

oO Oh Gods. Been a mother for less than a week and I'm already having those kinds of thoughts. Idiot. Oo 

Tori: It's not like a warzone is a place to raise a child, anyway.

Ironically, that very conversation had occurred between her own parents. Although the Gods saw fit to have Talia be created towards the tail end of the conflict. It wasn't lost on her that had it occurred even a few months earlier...she may not have been around to hear the story. 

Ohnari: Certainly not an ideal one...I'll grant you that. 

Tori: Don't sugar-coat it.  If I told him, he probably wouldn't feel like he had to come on this goddess-forsaken mission for me.  :: Beat ::  He never was sure of it...  The time travel, the quantities of Sencha I was playing with, what the Admiral and I wanted to do... :: her throat tightened :: I could have set him free to live whatever pasta-filled life he wanted.  :: Hardening :: Instead, I've probably killed him with my silence.

For a moment, Talia was just stunned at the sudden turn of this conversation. It seemed poor Tori had been riddled with guilt over this and she'd gone and lit a match over the fumes of discomfort. 

Ohnari: Whoa, whoa Tori slow down, I think you're taking on way more responsibility than you should, Kael loves you. I don't think anything could make him stop, and if children is something the two of you wish to explore when the time is right, there are other opti-

Tori: :: Cutting her off. :: Stop!  Just stop!  :: Sitting up. :: I didn't time travel to be preached at, consoled, or "fixed."  Don't you get it?  I know everything I've ever done is probably going to be un-done with this trip.  I will be undone.

The rage and hopelessness radiating off the woman in the biobed was powerful enough to nearly bring the Haliian to her knees. Her intention was to reassure, not lecture, and certainly not preach or say Tori had to be "fixed". In reality, she'd just wanted to give her a chance at a little more hope. Something that seemed to be in very thin supply in her time. 

Tori: This is pointless.

Ohnari: Whoa Tori wha-!!! 

Before her next blink, Tori was up and ripping at the introductory port with a vengeance. Automatically, Talia reacted and moved to stop her. While Tori was hellbent on ripping out the device and essentially giving up, her cry of pain was a stab to her own heart. After a brief struggle, Tori relented. The sobs came in like a monsoon of everything she'd been holding back. Once Talia had a chance to repair the damage Tori's righteous fury had inflicted, she ignored all standard protocol. 

Unable to resist, and still feeling oddly maternal, Talia hopped up into the bed, pulling Tori into her arms. The Haliian rocked gently back and forth, holding her tight. Soothing comforts whispered, assurances that Tori was not alone and Talia had her. At that moment, desperately trying to hold the pieces of a broken heart together, she got it. Why the admiral had been dead set on nuking the site from orbit. 

Tori was only one in a sea of suffering. All because of the Lattice Alliance. It was good she had no access to the weapons array in her current state. She wondered about her future counterpart when she discovered she was with child. Was she ecstatic? Or terrified...? Had she and Connor debated not continuing the pregnancy for the sake of the child...? Talia, in her current place in life could never imagine not following through, but she had no idea of the world Kael and Tori had been born into, and what horrors awaited. She shook off those thoughts, this wasn't the time or place. It wasn't about her, it was about Tori. 

Ohnari: ::speaking softly, she stroked the woman's hair:: Beautiful girl. How strong you are, to have endured all you have in such a short time. I can only imagine. But you need to give yourself some grace, none of what has happened is anything that you could have controlled. 

Tori: Response 

Ohnari: ::soothingly:: You are blaming yourself for so much, none of it is actually your responsibility. ::pausing:: As for Kael, I don't know him in this time, but I know he loves you. And he is here, with you, because he chose to be. 

Tori: Response

A lighthearted chuckle left her. 

Ohnari: That boy is half me, and half Connor, do you really think you could force him to do...well..anything he didn't want to? Or stop him if he felt it was the right thing to do? ::she raised her brow:: Kael loves you for you. Not some promise of future incubation. Otherwise I am sure the Talia in your time would have had a strongly worded conversation with her son....::laying her head against Tori's:: I don't know what is going to happen once we've prevented the attack on the prison...but I do know that you are strong, you are loved, and I am a better person for having met the two of you. 

Tori: Response

TAG/TBC

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Lieutenant Commander Talia Ohnari, MD
Chief Medical Officer
USS Khitomer
C239205ME0