Lieutenant Ras El'Heem - You forced me to write this, I hope you know that. The blame is on ALL OF YOU
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((Aft Compartment, Shuttlecraft 4, departing Khitomer))
The almost-private compartment in the rear of the small shuttle felt crowded. Crowded because three people was probably one too many. Crowded because the absolute most delightful thorn he’s ever had in his side was a foot away. And most of all, crowded because he had for some reason willingly talked himself into dressing up as a gazelle disguised as a lioness, and walking out into the safari.
The ceiling was only inches from the top of his head, and that exacerbated how crammed it was. Ras stood tall, attempting to concentrate any ounce of dignity and confidence he had left by holding his shoulders back and looking past Talia at Amelia who was busy searching through the replicator database. Talia sized Ras up as if he was a new design for a prosthetic and not a living, breathing thing.
Finally, the silence broke for the first time since takeoff, Talia spoke.
Ohnari: Hmm...I'm thinking with your height, just a slight adjustment to your chest....::tilting her head:: Wow Ras, You have unfairly symmetrical bone structure. You are going to be stunning.
He looked at her with a scowl on his face, unsure whether to take that as a compliment or not. The scrutiny continued.
El'Heem: Ummm…thank you?
Ras cleared his throat and resisted the urge to cross his arms.
El’Heem: Amelia, what uhh, whatcha looking for?
The strange circumstances they found themselves in, somehow washed away the awkwardness he expected to have working with her so soon after their failed dinner, replaced by another kind of awkwardness. Would this further complicate their situation?
Semara: Lera was right. They want a pathogen scan when we come aboard. It ain't gonna be enough to just dress 'em up, and five minutes ain't enough time for anythin' more extensive. I'm tryin' to find somethin' in the database that'll defeat tricorders and biobed scans... :: Beat, hand stilling. :: Like this...
Ras watched from afar as the replicator screen displayed a schematic of some kind used for technological obfuscation.
Ohnari: But...are their systems going to even know the difference between Kressari male and female? What are the chances we need to do more than cosmetic camouflage..?
El'Heem: That’s my first question. We have a number of duplicate organs that other humanoid species do not have. I mean for all they know, the females on Kressari have intromittent organs like Neotrogla.
He was already concerned with the tuck, adding additional camouflage was going to get uncomfortable, and fast.
Semara: I can see it's a box, and that it can only spoof what's inside! :: A long pause, studying Ras, mischievous smile getting bigger the longer she looks :: I know. We ain't gotta fake that much anatomy. Just the parts that need to look female. The black ops database is pretty big, I bet if I search for... :: Trailing off and working the computer again. :: Heavens, who would need that!? Nevermind... : Searching. :: Yup, there we go. Talia, can I get the, uh... dimensions for the uh... concealment zones?
There was that scowl again. This one, more puzzled. There were few times in a mans life where the measurements of his nether region were so accurately measured. Usually, the number needed to be embellished. Usually, it was not measured by two members of the opposite gender, one of which having already seen it. Somehow that did not make him feel any less objectified.
And yet…as strange as it all was, Amelia seemed to be the least bit concerned with the predicament emasculating him and was just happy it was him. He couldn’t put his finger on why he felt that from her, but her demeanor was more relaxed than she’d been around him since the sauna.
Ohnari: What, you didn't get a clear enough metric from the sauna? ::she winked and dropped to her knees in front of the Kressari, sobering as she glanced up:: We're both medical professionals. Or you were. Don't make this weirder than it is. ::tricorder aloft, measurements taken:: Readings coming at you now Amelia. ::standing back up:: Alright Ras, shirt off. We've got a few things to put on your chest.
Ras tensed as Talia dropped to her knees and his eyes widened as he kept his eyes straight ahead.
El'Heem: Me, make this weirder than it is? Oh Talia. I really do think we’ve hit rock bottom. ::long pause before glancing to Amelia, speaking through mildly gritted teeth:: and of course you know about the sauna.
Well, it wasn’t the first time either had seen him shirtless. This was bordering on no longer being PG13 and the FCC would have to classify the situation as educational. His eyes remained on the back of Amelia’s head, relenting to the absurdity and just shaking his head ever so slightly.
Talia went about her measurements in the most professional way she could. Anatomy wasn’t quite the taboo it was when you were a doctor and Talia, being Talia, he knew their friendship would not suffer a modicum of backslide. He appreciated that at least. Amelia’s diligent work paused and a menacingly smile crept across her face and it sent a chill down his spine. These women were enjoying this far too much and in that moment he knew that playing house with Amelia was going to come with a much different appreciation for conventional relationships. Things would always be interesting, to say the least.
The replicator began to churn out whatever diabolic creation she had settled on and the length of time it took spelled doom for Ras. Every moment he thought it would finish, another cycle of whirring would start again, and each time his eyes grew wider and his outlook graver. He watched the betazoid move from her spot of scheming to the replicator receptacle and snatching the creation off just in time. What she held up bloomed a phobia within him he had not realized would ever need to be a phobia.
A lack lace thong and bra that had more business in the window of a lingerie store than anywhere near a Starfleet shuttle craft. The alluring manner in which Amelia moved towards Talia and Ras only added to fear these women struck in his heart. They were a diabolical pair of sirens, singing sailors to their watery deaths, except they’d be wearing labcoats instead of….whatever sirens wore.
At the same time, Talia approved whatever designs she was working on and retrieved another set of dastardly paraphernalia from the replicator. As least she had the decency to not overindulge in the hip sway.
This could never get back to Hobart.
Semara: :: A tilted smile. :: You'll need to put these on. :: Grinning bigger. :: Think of it as helpin' you with your method actin'. I'll give you two a moment a' privacy. I'll find some makeup, unless you need help with somethin' else, Doc?
oO Oh, so now privacy is important, all of a sudden? Oo
Ras attempted to snatched the underwear from her, with a stone face and stuck his tongue out at her after she walked away with a wicked grin and held onto them. He watched her peak towards the front of the shuttle and return with a much more conspicuous smile.
The silver lining was that this felt like the old Amelia, and he felt like the old Ras before all the complications. Moderately more twisted and underlined with a flirtatious threat, but better than whatever they had been doing before.
He looked back to Talia as she moved in front of him.
Ohnari: Alright Ras arms out, we're going to attach the prosthetics, and then on go the magic spy underwear. Amelia? We need hair and uniform replication. He's going to need a little more room up top...
Ras did as he was instructed and then had to catch himself from letting his arms drop as Talia pressed an anatomically correct Kressari breast against his chest. This had better work, because if he was going to be eaten by an alien species, it was going to be done without all the…attachments and humiliation.
El’Heem: This cup size seems a bit indulgent. ::glancing with annoyed eyes towards Amelia who was working on the last of the ensemble:: What do you think Amelia? Perky enough? ::grumbling:: I hope you’re happy with yourselves.
Semara: Response
He practically sulked while the Haliian applied the second prosthetic and inhaled as soon as she had finished.
Ohnari: And tada!! ::beaming, with a jazz hand flourish:: You wanna do a quick jump and test out the bonding material? ::leaning forward:: Maybe a little shake? ::catching the color his eyes were currently displaying, she straightened and cleared her throat.:: Um..or not. I'm sure it's fine...Now hold still; I'm going to inject some bio-gel that will help soften your angular features. It will dissolve within twelve hours of injection.
A chance to actually put these puppies through the ringer did actually cross his mind. Just how good was her handiwork? He glanced down and gulped before shooting his head straight back up and met Amelia’s stare. Before he could speak, the SFX expert injected something into his face twice and he winced at the pinch. His sharp jar line had been evened off and he touched his face.
Then Talia grabbed a red wig, already styled and bonded it to his scalp. He lifted his hand and ran his fingers through the silky hair atop his head. Something he’s never been able to do, because Kressari don’t grow hair. Anywhere.
Ohnari: ::snorting:: This is so not what I pictured doing today...
Semara: Response
El'Heem: I’m glad you’re proud of what you’ve done to me. I hope this image haunts you forever. Because if I’m doing this ::attempting to raise his voice an octave or two, and failing:: I’m doing this.
Ras popped his hip out and put his hand at the cleft of his thigh. He tried not to laugh, but the cognitive dissonance he was experiencing made him feel giddy, and Amelia’s smile was contributing heavily to that.
His laughter faltered as Michaels called from the front of the shuttle. Time was short.
Michaels: Amelia. Talia. Ras. You are going to want to see this.
Ohnari: Go on, Amelia. We'll finish up and join in a moment.
Semara: Response
El'Heem: Ha Ha. Very funny. I hope you like woman too because this get up is going to stick around an hour longer every time you crack a joke.
He realized the comment normalized what he had started to realize. She did like him. It was just...complicated. And he was going to milk the hell out of it while he could. Before things had to go and get all serious again.
Semara: Response
As Amelia left, his eyes settled back on Talia.
Ohnari: ::pointing to the uniform and concealment garment in his arms:: Time to complete the ensemble, ::grinning wickedly:: Rasha.
Ras waited while Talia stared at him.
El'Heem: ::gesturing for her to spin:: Well! Turn around. Amelia can see whatever she wants, you’re not on that list unless I’m in the morgue….which might be sooner than we think.
Talia turned as she spoke and Ras dropped his pants and pulled on the undergarments.
oO Seriously. This better not awaken anything in me. Oo
Ohnari: Response
He then pulled on the uniform and it fit far snugger than what he was used to.
El’Heem: This…is going to fool everyone. Seriously. ::nodding his head:: good job. We have to do something about the voice now.
Ohnari: Response
El’Heem: Make me sound sultry. Ras El’Her is gonna be hot.
Perhaps he was enjoying this more than he expected. Not the being a girl part, but going undercover and the dynamic duo of trouble had made it fun and far less embarrassing than it should have been.
Ohnari: Response
TAGS/TBC
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Lieutenant Ras El ‘Heem
Chief Science Officer
USS Khitomer (NCC-62400)
K240106RE3