LtJg Lera Michaels - To sleep, perchance to dream

[steve...@yahoo.com]

((Indulgence of Chocolate-Coated Jama’haron, Deck 47, Room 47166))

((OOC - Just for clarity, this entire sequence takes place before Lera's unfortunate encounter with the Nausicaan. ))

Zerva: ::beat:: Say hello to Ezra Lyr.

Michaels: Hello, Ezra Lyr.

Zera: ::concerned:: Are you okay?

Lera folded her arms across her chest and leaned back. She ignored Foxy Lady as the dog jumped onto her lap. She covered her mouth with her right hand as she sat silently staring at the picture.

Michaels: I am fine. But I have one observation that I have made before and one question. :: She sighed. :: First, that Ezra Zerva is a different version of you in a different future that can no longer be our future. We are not going to that world. We are not going to crash on that world. The Dex host is not going to die when our version of Khitomer does not crash on that world.

Zerva: Yes, that would seem to be the case. What’s your question?

Michaels: Before we go much further down this path, there is one thing I want to understand. One thing I need to understand better. You do not need to go into details, but... :: Lera frowned. :: When a Trill becomes the host of a symbiont, it is not just a physical joining. It is not just a matter of carrying another sentient being in your body. It is also... a joining of minds as well.

Zerva: That’s my understanding based on my research. The symbiont takes the memories it has from each of its previous hosts, and those memories are transferred to the new host.

Michaels: Does that not mean that the overall memory and personality change?

Zerva: My understanding is the personalities and memories of previous hosts are added to those of the current host. It gives the new host all their past shared experience in one person.

Michaels: If and/or when you become joined, does that mean your personality... that your thoughts toward... certain people will change? oO Like me, for example? Oo

What was that look in his eyes? Did he understand her concern that he might become someone different, someone she would not love? Or worse, someone who would not love her?

Lera held her breath.

Zevra: In a way there is some change, but my understanding is the bond between the current host and those they love is only strengthened and deepened. I don’t quite understand how it all works :: reaches up to place a hand on her cheek :: but just know that I would never, could never change how I feel about you.

oO "those they love?" Does that mean what I hope it means? Oo

Michaels: Like a pie crust promise; easily made, easily broken. :: she knew instantly those words had hurt him :: I want to believe that, but we can not know that. People change. oO Especially people who get sentient personalities added to their own. Oo No one knows how they will change.

Zerva: I… I care about you. A lot. To be honest, Lera, I couldn’t imagine a world in which I didn’t feel this way about you. A world in which you’re not a part of it. I would hope that if I ever became joined, you’d still be there at my side to help me through the process.

He said all the right words, all the pretty words, all the words she had longed to hear him say. Yet, there was the lingering uncertainty that had plagued her ever since they had started to show an interest in each other. Were the words genuine, or were they just the words of someone who simply wanted to take advantage of her? How could she know? Could she know? Was this a question of taking the risk?

He looked away. She put out her right hand and traced the spots on the side of his face with her fingertips. She had not thought about trying a mind-meld. She was not trained to do that, and yet, she felt something. Lera lacked the knowledge to interpret what she had sensed. But there was genuineness there. Perhaps a little fear. Certainly a sense of the foundation of someone's life falling away. His words were true. Could his feelings be false?

Michaels: Ezra.

He looked back up, and for a moment, they stared at each other in silence.

Zerva: Please, Lera ::leaning forward:: let me stay here with you. ::whispering:: Just for tonight.

Michaels: Why just for tonight?

oO This is it. This is how I will know. If we sleep, then this has not just been a long maneuver. If not... Oo

He leaned closer. Lera could feel his breath on her face. She could hear her heart pounding. A kiss was coming. Not one like she had stolen earlier.

She closed her eyes and leaned toward him. Suddenly, the moment was gone, vanished like the bright sunlight on a desert flower when a sudden storm began. She opened her eyes and looked at him. Ezra was crying. His body shook almost imperceptibly.

Michaels: Ezra. What is it?

Zerva: The dream I had was about one Falazi. Falazi Lyr. The third host of the Lyr Symbiont, but he’s been dead for over 50 years. I don’t understand how that’s possible to have a dream about someone I’ve met or will never meet. ::tears falling from his eyes:: He was an opera singer and apparently one of the best. ::body shaking:: I’m scared, Lera. It scared me in a way I can’t quite describe. I don’t know what to do or how I’m supposed to feel. I… ::beat:: I need you like I’ve never had before.

Ezra continued to weep, and Lera found that oddly assuring. She had read romance novels and seen the vids. If this were a ploy, it was unlike anything she had seen in any telenovela. He held his face in his hands, and while she did not understand why the dream had affected him so strongly, she could not deny its power. She could not deny her desire to comfort him. She pulled his head closer, his tears rolling off her shoulder.

Michaels: Ezra. I will be here for you as long as you need me. :: She stroked his head with one hand. :: It is the middle of the night. There is nothing that can be done now but to rest.

Lera hesitated for a moment. oO Roll the dice, girl. Take the chance. What is the worst that can happen? Oo

Michaels: It is time to go to bed and get some sleep. :: Lera stood and tugged at Ezra, encouraging him to stand as well. :: Come now. Get your pillow and get in the bed.

Zerva: Response.

Michaels: No. You are not sleeping on the floor. If you sleep on the floor, you will be in a bad mood tomorrow. That is something I do not wish to happen.

Zerva: Response.

Michaels: Yes. I am certain. Get in the bed. Now. And face that wall.

Lera waited as Ezra got into the bed facing away from the center. Lera followed him into the bed facing the opposite direction. Her back was comfortably pressed against his back as she pulled the covers over her shoulder. And a small dog settled herself on the pillow between Lera and Ezra's heads.

Lera smiled as she listened to the soft rhythm of his breathing. Her mother might approve of this arrangement, but while it may not have been the logical course of action. It definitely felt right.

Zerva: Response

Tags/TBC

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LtJg Lera Michaels

Engineering Officer
USS Khitomer
K240106LM2