[Juneau] Ensign Sera - There is no such thing as a free cinnamon roll
Hope Forster
((Mess Hall, Deck 4, USS Juneau))
A wide, almost cocky grin spread over Motor's features. They weren't really one to be distracted by their uncertainty for long. "New" was almost synonymous with "good" in their book, so long as no one was being hurt. Near as they could tell, Sera being a bit unorthodox was entirely harmless.
Vihn: I know I could do better. It might be a while until I can get actual, not replicated ingredients, don't get me wrong. But when I do, I'll make a thing out of it.
Sera: A thing? I don't recall offering up my highly developed olfactory senses for a thing. Clarify.
The Trill rolled their eyes with mock annoyance, but their body language and the grin they still wore hopefully made it clear it was all in good fun. Of all the thoughts and sensations passing through their mind as the conversation went on, to say they were irritated or displeased couldn't be further from the truth.
Vihn: You know. A thing! An occasion. An event. A quick stop and you'll either see why I was once a famous chef, or you'll be wrong. ::Tilting their head with a sly wink.:: That was a joke. Mostly.
Sera: Why joke? If you have these skills it is not necessary to resort to humor to detract from your accomplishments. :: Takes another bite.::
Now, their jokes have historically never landed with Vulcans. But it was becoming increasingly apparent that the self-deprecation in particular just wasn't going to fly when talking to Sera (not that Motor would likely stop doing it). She had consistently met each attempt, whether it was actually rooted in anything other than good-natured humor or not, with confused perplexity and a counterargument. Not to say her confidence in them was unappreciated or unpleasant. Far from it. The semi-praise left little pockets of warmth in Motor's chest. But it was hardly their intention to seek it out.
Vihn: Well -- to clarify, not me as in Motor. Me as in Vihn. A long time ago, but I was. ::leaning back again.:: It's more of a hobby now. Obviously, right? ::smirking slightly.:: I don't really have time to run a restaurant and a sickbay.
Sera: How fascinating...to be able to build upon so many varied experiences...:looking thoughtful:: Is your joviality innate or is it just like logic?
The Trill blinked at Sera silently for a few seconds before they finally answered.
Vihn: I'm sorry? What do you mean?
Sera: Logic can be a mask, a veneer. It is used to conceal parts that are not considered desirable. It creates uniformity of thought and conformity of action. Is humor your mask to hide the numerous complexities of the lives you have led? It is supposition on my part, but has it set you apart?
Their smile faltered, and then faded. Brown eyes stared back at Sera quietly. They weren't sure what to say. It wasn't that what she said was malicious. On the contrary, it almost seemed genuine and sincere -- like she was relating what he was doing to Vulcan repression. Whether or not Sera was off base for it, the Doctor couldn't say. They lacked the self-awareness to really tell. Maybe that was something to mention on their next visit to a counsellor. But its merit (or lack thereof, Motor remained unsure) didn't negate its genuine nature, or the intention behind it.
Still, despite feeling what could best be described as a pang of sympathy, a desire to help Sera understand, the Trill struggled to find the words to answer her question. It required Motor to say more about themselves than they really knew how. After all, who were they? Motor, Vihn, Motor Vihn -- what was them, and what was the memories and experiences of past hosts?
Unfortunately, Motor hesitated too long. Sera's eyes widened, and she set her fork aside abruptly.
Sera: I beg your forgiveness. My behavior has been most unacceptable, and my line of questioning rude. You have been very...accommodating. ::clenching her jaw.::
Again, almost helplessly, Motor blinked at Sera as she continued.
Sera: I do not wish to monopolize your time, Doctor.
The Vulcan rose to her feet, expression neutral, and Motor's eyes fell to the table for a moment. That'd been going very well only moments before, and now she was back to doing her best to hide what she was thinking. Their hesitation had cost them a moment to greet an attempt at what was almost vulnerability with something in kind. The Doctor stood, picking up their plates and utensils. Again, they met Sera's eyes and smiled. This time, the expression was less jovial, more sad.
Vihn: You have nothing to apologize for, Sera. I'm not trying to dodge your question. You have my word. I'm just not sure how to answer it right now, because... maybe it's right. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me and hope you'll continue to do so.
Sera’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. He actually desired to continue speaking with her? Everyone thought she was…weird. Even her own people. Not logical enough for some, and then too restrained for everyone else…and then now? Why, by Surak, did she not only entertain, but engage in such irrational behavior – it affected someone who had shown sincere regard for her. She would have to make amends…somehow.
Vihn: For what it's worth, I had a wonderful time talking to you. ::hesitating, then continuing.:: You're lovely company. Truly. I'll see you around.
Sera watched Motor turn and leave, and she just stood there, blinking one, twice. Normally it would have been difficult to respond in a manner that would have adequately diffuse the situation and clarified any miscommunication, but tonight? Impossible. She quickly turned, and the world tilted a little causing her normally impeccable sense of direction to falter. Righting herself immediately and glancing around, she was silently relieved that no one seemed to notice. With a peculiarly disagreeable feeling forming in her chest, Sera made her way back to her quarters.
She would meditate. She needed clarity – she needed perspective…
Sitting on the edge of her bunk, Sera covered her face with her hands and closed her eyes. She focused on her breathing and through sheer will alone pulled herself back into equilibrium. With the last focused exhale, she relaxed and sat up straight.
Sera: ::to no one:: It was a singularly gratifying experience to partake in conversation with you too.
END
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Ensign Sera
USS Juneau NX-99801
J239812S14