[JP] Commander Valen Carys & Mikali sh'Shar - Uglier Ways (Part V)

[David Adams]

((Counselling Suite, Iana Station))

sh'Shar: I didn't tell her. I told her I was sick. Which was true, but not the whole truth. She's not old enough. But I will in time. ::Wistfully,:: She'll probably just figure it out anyway.

Carys remained quiet, the pads of her fingertips soft against her PADD as she tapped out a note for later. Mikali's eyes flicked to the PADD. That... couldn't be good. The notes. Always during the bad stuff.

A sudden spike of panic rose up in Mikali's chest. It took all her dwindling effort to tear her eyes away and look at something else, the ceiling in this case, to try not to think about what might be going into those notes. Some part of her implored that this was all for her own good, that the notes were just to help her and nothing more, but that voice was practically a whisper now.

sh'Shar: So I'm telling you, it's not about me. It's true that I want her to think highly of me, but that's not my primary goal, and I'll prove it by calling her up and telling her that the thing is off. I just want her to have the kind of life that I never had. Give her the opportunity to make better choices. Better than me.

It boiled down to this simple, blunt statement, one that summed up everything she had felt for the last six years. Everything since The Big Day. Everything since Benna's teacher had sent her that letter telling her she was in trouble for yelling in class.

sh'Shar: I'll do anything you ask, Carys. Anything. To the best of my ability. That's all I'm trying to do, all I've been trying to do this whole time. The best thing I know how. I'll... I'll even cut off contact with her. I'll tell her she's better off without me. I'll hate it but I'll do it. I'll do anything. Anything. Just... just...

Mikali's voice pitched up and cracked. Her composure faltered.

sh'Shar: Please help me make sure Benna sh'Shar turns out better than her mother.

Carys drew in a slow breath before she answered. She didn't doubt the Andorian's conviction or motivation, but her approach seemed bound up in her own personal struggles. Fears amplified by her traumatic history, methods twisted by her flaws, solutions influenced by her reverences. Talking through fears with an objective eye could sometimes bring them down from irrational heights, making them—and everything they influenced—easier to work through.

Valen: Can you tell me why you're so afraid she won't? 

sh'Shar: Because— because I used to be good, and despite being like her I left my family home too, because my home life was intolerable, and I want to make sure that Benna never has to make the kind of choices that I had to make. She hates where she's living. I want to give her a safe place to go, a better place, one that can enrich and reward her, make her feel like she's welcome and safe and where she can flourish. Not where she... feels like she has to merely survive.

Valen: All right. ::She held up a hand, patting the air.:: I have to stop you there. If you have concerns about her safety at home, I need you to tell me.

Concerns about her safety.

((Mikali's Flashback: DS-17 Promenade, 9 years ago))

One-eyed, without her prosthetic yet and recovering from her injuries, Mikali sh'Shar was just about to reveal to Luna Walker that the child within her had been successfully transferred to the zhen. The last stage of the weird Andorian pregnancy.

She took a breath.

sh'Shar: I gotta favour to ask you.

Walker:  Anything.  oO I ruined your life, no matter what it's the least I can do Oo 

Mikali turned back to her friend, the emotion showing on her face. Real, genuine emotion.

sh'Shar: …the foetus is in zh'Khall. We did the gross-ness a few hours ago... safe and sound. It'll be born... well, hell, who knows. Eventually, right?

Walker: ::She blinked in confusion,:: You're pregnant?  And um...wow.  So are they going with you?

She grinned a little.

sh'Shar: I was. Now she is. Andorians, huh. ::Mikali nodded.:: The rest of the group are staying here... so the kid is too. Just... just say you'll drop in occasionally and make sure that... ::Her voice tightened.:: That... that- that they're not abusing her, okay? 

Had a Borg walked up and asked for directions to a Ferengi swap meet, Luna could not have been more surprised:

Walker: Check for what? 

 

Her voice picked up. Energized. Frantic, even.

 

sh'Shar: Check for bruises, welts, or cuts, but make sure they don't let you see. If they know you know they'll hide it better... check especially often on the back, or on the upper legs. They might be in a strip, like from a belt, or in a line from a switch or cane; even if you don't find any, give her a little rub here and there, subtly, to make sure they're not covering them with makeup. Watch how she reacts around them — if she's frightened around them, but not around strangers, investigate. Find out why. Check her hygiene... if she doesn't take care of herself, or they don't take care of her, that's a bad sign. When she's old enough talk to her, be her friend... when she can first talk she'll share everything with you; young children don't have secrets, so if she's hiding something, or if she starts talking about herself negatively, or saying that she's worthless or talking herself down — if she's anything other than a happy little kid — you call me, okay? I'll fly here so fast I'll rip a hole in subspace and tear their heads from their slimy little—

 

Walker: Mik, it'll be ok.  I mean she's going to be their daughter too, just calm down. 

 

Mikali's eye grew wide. Her voice went up in volume, then she forced it back down when heads began to turn.

 

sh'Shar: I'm not frakking kidding, Luna! You think it matters if she's their daughter too?! If she acts like she's walking on eggshells, she's too polite like they're about to snap, you gotta step in — I'm relying on you here! If she's extremely compliant, or fearful of making a mistake, that's a warning sign — if she starts avoiding someone, one of them probably, without a good reason I wan-

 

Finally understanding the reason for the request, Luna broke in.

 

Walker:  If she has any of those warning signs, I'll pull her out and raise her myself.  I won't let anyone hurt her. You have my word.  

 

Finally, sh'Shar breathed and calmed down, somewhat.

 

sh'Shar: …okay. Okay.

TBC

--

Mikali sh'Shar

Civilian

ReachOut Project

O238704AT0

&

Commander Valen Carys 

Anthropologist and Clinical Psychologist

USS Gorkon

T238401QR0