LtCmdr Skyfire + Capt. Taybrim: A Brother's Subspace Call
Chythar Skyfire
((Starbase 118, CO’s Office + CD’s room, Llamasong Farms))
::It had been nearly a full day since CD was released from SFM and on both pain meds and light duty. The Gorkon was undergoing extensive repairs, the crew was scheduling counseling, enjoying themselves, or getting medical treatment, and CD was seeing to his uncle’s affairs via PADD until they could figure out what would happen to Chris and the Raktajino. He decided to call Sal, since he was back in this universe. With a direct line to Ops’ CO, it wasn’t that difficult to get the man’s attention.::
Skyfire: =/\= Commander Skyfire to Captain Taybrim.
::There seemed to be a brief hold as Sal’s yeoman patched him through, before the ginger-haired Betazoid answered the hail.::
Taybrim: ::he had been sitting in his office reviewing news. He was rather expecting this call on news of the Gorkon re-appearing. Expecting - or perhaps hoping.:: =/\= CD? =/\= ::a wide grin:: =/\= I was hoping you would call! =/\=
Skyfire: =/\= It’s so good to see you, bro. How you doing? =/\=
Taybrim: =/\= I’ve been well - though the bigger question is ‘how are you?’ =/\=
::CD nodded. There was a very long and convoluted answer, but he wasn’t in the least bit sure how to explain it. Best theory, Chythar decided, was to start at the beginning.::
Skyfire: =/\= Ah don’t know, Sal. Ah think Ah got my gift under control, mostly. Far from perfect. Ah...Ah felt a lot of death. More than I could handle….sixty six percent of the Gorkon’s crew...final count from all sides: somewhere north of...seven hundred, I think...=/\=
::He paused, frowning a little. The news about the death toll on the Sovereign class ship was very muted - covered up. Sixty six percent was a staggering, horrifying statistic.::
Taybrim: =/\= I’m sorry to hear that… I can barely imagine =/\= ::he started empathetically.::
Skyfire: ::A grim line made it into CD’s otherwise calm demeanor.:: =/\= Let me guess. Starfleet stopped looking and the FNS did the old cover-up routine.
Taybrim: ::with an understanding nod:: =/\= You know the news service. They give facts, but leave out most of the details. The only mention was some sort of interdimensional rift… =/\= ::prompting, seeking::
Skyfire: =/\= It was rather hellacious. Same reality the Invicta wound up in, I’m sure. Dominion won. =/\=
Taybrim: =/\= Really? =/\= ::He was a little surprised to hear it.:: =/\= That’s hard to imagine. =/\=
::CD took up a pencil and started fidgeting with it, as he often did when he was nervous or trying to explain something he wasn’t sure how to, really.::
Skyfire: =/\= Ah um...lost a patient or two also. Haven’t come to terms with that either.
::he paused, canting his head to one side to listen::
Taybrim: =/\= What happened? =/\=
::The normally calm and chipper man Chythar was a year ago was definitely not the one sitting here now. As though second-guessing his actions after reading his own reports. All three hundred sixty something of them. He glanced down at the one in particular from engineering and the crewman whose life slipped away through his fingers.::
Skyfire: =/\= Something exploded and...um...Ah don’t know. Ah did what Ah could… ::he trailed off, not sure how to finish that sentence.::
::Sal took in a slow breath. He didn’t know a single doctor beyond CD who hadn’t lost a patient before. He wasn’t sure if that meant that CD was incredibly good - or incredibly lucky. Perhaps both. Still, it was a hard deal to face for the first time.::
Taybrim: =/\= It’s a reality of dangerous Starfleet life… =/\= ::he started kindly.::
Skyfire: =/\= Any life beyond that of a physician, you mean? =/\=
::Sal shook his head slowly::
Taybrim: =/\= Loss is part of the job. I hate to say it - but I know how it feels. Trust me, I now watch over a base with over ten thousand Starfleet crew and many more civilians.=/\=
::Chythar took in a slow breath and dreaded his next question, almost as if Stripey was the one asking it.::
Skyfire: =/\= Does it ever get any easier? =/\=
Taybrim: =/\=No. It doesn’t get easier. I wish it did. But if it gets easy I think it means we start to die a little inside. =/\=
Skyfire: =/\= Is there any way to know when that’s happened? =/\=
::He didn’t know for sure. He’d experienced over seventy five percent casualties on the Gorkon in his own way, like he felt he was dying a little each time. He helped Alucard sign death certificates, specifically for the crewmen who died on his watch that day in engineering. It was a horrible nightmare he was reliving over and over.::
Taybrim: ::That was a good question. Sal, as a counselor, would explain it as clinical depression. But as a metaphor he would explain it like a dying of an internal fire.:: =/\= It’s not something that’s so easily defined.=/\= ::He gave a canny pause:: =/\= Perhaps you can tell me how you feel and I can offer insight? =/\=
::Skyfire’s blond brows knitted together in contemplation as he was trying to express himself in words. He’d heard the worried tone in which Sal asked, saw it chiseled into that handsome face. He knew his brother was concerned, but there wasn’t an easy way to explain what he felt.::
Skyfire: =/\= Ah wish Ah ken how to explain it. Every name has somehow burned itself into my memory as their life slipped away… =/\=
Taybrim: =/\=Memories are not a bad thing. They may hurt now, but as you carry them with you, you carry on their legacy and their memory. This is an honor - it shows you care for them and what they gave.=/\=
::And yet, memories were also horrifying at the same time. To relive every single moment during that hellish year as you went about your day was not an easy thing to live with. CD continued fidgeting with the pencil and blinked at the screen.::
Skyfire: =/\= Painful, certainly. If there was any way to numb myself to this crazy effect...Ah’d probably be all over it. =/\=
::Sal shook his head gently, leaning forward. He wished he could be closer; empathy was a great boon in a conversation like this. But he would have to settle for his raft of skills that allowed him to read people without reading emotions or thoughts - skills he had built up since his telepathy was damaged.::
Taybrim: =/\= I’d argue that pain, while very unpleasant, is better than numbness. Pain is bad - you want to get it relieved - but in the end it also signals life. =/\=
::Chythar gave a somewhat forced chuckle. As a physician, he’d heard that one before. In fact, someone had used that very line on him a while ago...but he couldn’t remember who it was. Despite the fact that the laughter felt somewhat false, it felt good -- as though his year of being missing and his unexpected comedian role had somehow drained the laughter from him.::
Skyfire: =/\= As one great circle. Right. =/\=
Taybrim: =/\= Something like that. =/\= ::He leaned forward, concerned.::
::With a strained sigh, Chythar lay back in his chair and bit his tongue. He didn’t know how to continue for a moment. When he finally found words again, he changed the subject.::
Skyfire: =/\= Thought you should know...Ah started getting close to someone about the time Ah forgot what laughter sounded like. =/\=
Taybrim: =/\= Can I ask who? =/\= ::Now he felt like they were getting somewhere.::
Skyfire: =/\= Alex Blair. =/\= ::He said the name and blushed a little, since it was still a fairly new thing to him.::
Taybrim: ::gentle:: =/\= What happened? =/\=
::That was a bit of a long and convoluted answer, but one that he had already prepared for this conversation. Sal was one of the few people he could talk to about such things without feeling like a complete sap.::
Skyfire: =/\= Back when Alex replaced me as first officer of the Gorkon, he’d asked me about the pulse of the crew. Said Ah knew them better than he did, which was true at the time -- he’d just come out of a coma when we went through the fissure. Several months later, he asked me to be the morale officer and keep everyone laughing. It was...difficult. Ah’d say a route canal was easier than making them laugh, because by that point everyone had either little hope we’d get back or had given up completely. =/\= ::There was a pause, either for effect or to let it sink in. Possibly both.:: =/\= Alex tells me about a month after our assault on the alt-verse DSX that he’s always found it easy to laugh at my jokes, no matter that they were more stale than an MRE. He even smiled at me, saying it came easily whenever he was around me. Ah felt… =/\= ::There was a pause as he considered his words.:: =/\= ...something. Like a warm glow off him the entire time since. Does that sound weird to you? =/\=
Taybrim: =/\= No, not really. I know how strange it can be to feel trapped in the dead of space - and to be isolated for so long, any sort of contact like that is going to affect you deeply.=/\= ::he paused, leaning forward and querying gently:: =/\= I take it you have not felt the same way about someone else before? =/\=
Skyfire: =/\= Ah dinnae ken if Ah can describe it...but Ah didn’t feel it when Ah had my brief encounters with either Debra or Chase. Even Ris. Ah’ve never felt it before. =/\=
Taybrim: ::He nodded slowly, an understanding gesture.:: =/\= Sometimes you need a heightened situation to uncover something. =/\= ::he offered kindly::
::The truth of those words. Heightened situations. It took a heightened situation on the Excalibur to get his genetics scrambled, another heightened mess on DSX, and later on Astrofori One. Heightened situations indeed.::
Skyfire: =/\= Right. =/\= ::He paused in thought for a moment.:: =/\= What should Ah do? =/\=
Taybrim: =/\= Well, I would ask you what do you want to happen next? =/\= ::curious, open::
Skyfire: =/\= Ah don’t know… been on my own for so long with no family and no real romantic anything. Maybe talk to Alex and see what happens. Worst that could happen is he says he’s not interested, right? =/\=
Taybrim: =/\= Pretty much. =/\= ::he replied reassuringly:: =/\= And you might get a far better response. =/\= ::a smile. Sal always hoped the best for friends, CD in particular. The man deserved a break in love and life.::
Skyfire: =/\= Here’s hoping, right? =/\= ::He gave a light-hearted shrug.:: =/\= Being gone for so long has...maybe jaded me a bit. If rejection occurs, I won’t be cut up about it. =/\=
Taybrim: =/\= I can imagine. =/\= ::he murmured, nodding:: =/\= I do hope that your are getting some good leave to rest and recuperate? =/\=
Skyfire: =/\= This would be a bad time for me to say sleep is for the weak, right? =/\=
::That much was true. Over the last year, rest was more common than sleep. He hadn’t actually slept much or very well since he started sensing the deaths of those around him. What little control he had developed with the Vulcan had not prepared him for that aspect of his abilities. Especially not so much at once.::
Taybrim: ::Sal shook his head firmly:: =/\= You know as well as I do, a lack of sleep makes you weak.=/\= ::a pause, kindly:: =/\= Get some rest and take some downtime, CD. You need it. =/\=
::CD nodded faintly. Sal was right,of course. Taking advice when it was offered was always hard for him, especially since the last time he took advice wound up with him breaking a table.::
Skyfire: =/\= I know. Ris mentioned I’d be expected and her mother booked me on a shuttle to visit. I’ve been adopted.
Taybrim: =/\= See? That sounds good. Nothing to worry about for a few weeks. =/\= ::he smiled::
Skyfire: =/\= There’s still a few things to worry about, but nothing like that. =/\= ::He paused, and debated elaborating, deciding against it.:: =/\= If I’m ever in your neck of the woods again, mind if I drop by? =/\=
Taybrim: =/\= Of course you can visit me!=/\= ::he grinned merrily:: =/\= If you’re ever in the area of StarBase 118 I’ll give you the grand tour. =/\=
Skyfire: =/\= It’s been...a long time, since I was there last. FIrst posting and all that. =/\= ::He paused thoughtfully, and the once when he was temporarily assigned to the Columbia.:: =/\= And once more since.
::Sal chuckled. Of course he knew that CD was first stationed on Ops when he was a young ensign.=/\=
Taybrim: =/\=A lot has changed since Nicholotti owned the place.=/\= ::His dark eyes sparkled. He wondered if he would ever see his first Captain again. Not that he really wanted to, but he would be curious to face her just once in that sort of ‘see what I became’ way.::
Skyfire: =/\= That doesn’t surprise me. =/\= ::He glanced at something off screen as he thought someone was calling his name to inform him of dinner.:: =/\= I should get going. Dinner’s calling. Nice seeing you again, Sal. =/\=
Taybrim: =/\= Good to see you, too… brother. =/\= ::He smiled fondly at the man as the comm line faded.::
::Once the line closed, there was a sense of completion. As though Chythar had reconnected with his family who wasn’t at Sasha’s. Which, after the hellish year he had, he felt like he needed it. That sense of connection was essential to his survival. With that done, he felt better. He still had to meditate and sleep, but reconnecting with his family trumped both.::
END
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Lieutenant Commander Chythar Skyfire
Chief Medical Officer
USS Gorkon NCC-82293
History Team Co-Facilitator
Medical Duty Post Facilitator
Dear Doc Columnist
Podcast Script Writer
http://wiki.starbase118.net/wiki/index.php/Chythar_Skyfire
O239002CS0
&
Captain Sal Taybrim
Commanding Officer
StarBase 118 Ops
E239010ST0