[JP] Lt. Tahna Meru & Ens. Doz Finch - Crossing Paghs (Part ll)
Doz Finch
((Temple of Iponu, Ashalla, Bajor))
Meru studied the older woman’s face, looking for any sign she’d overstepped and should change subject. But she had to ask, because she felt responsible for Finch and Seva especially. She wasn’t just a more senior officer with more extensive experience in Skarbek. She had led them into danger in Witherington, and if that dream experience had harmed the real Finch and Seva in any way…that was on her.
…As for Doz, her expression nictated briefly, the bony contours of her face hollower than usual, the knolls of her skin a touch greyer. She was smiling, that much was true. But it wasn’t a full smile, not her usual smile. And her words…they didn’t come as quickly as they usually did.
Finch:…I’m fine! In fact…I’m very well.
The crows feet at either side of her eyes pulled tighter, thinned longer, as she attempted in earnest to keep her discomfort, if you could call it that, at bay. Because the truth was that she wasn’t sure what to make of it. “Skarbek”. Whatever it was, wherever it was, she’d been callous there. Resentful. Bitter. And it was a horrible thing. To know that she was capable of all of that. So the better option, she had decided, was simply to move on, not only for her sake but for everyone else's too.
So with a tut, and a faint chuckle, she deflected.
Finch: ::Upbeat:: Nevermind me, anyway! What about you? For what it’s worth, you’re just as gorgeous as you were there. Same frown, though. ::She said, bumping shoulders::
A very Bajoran frown (now tinged with confusion) played across the young woman’s face, wrinkling her forehead. From anyone else, the comment might have seemed backhanded, but somehow Doz had a way of appearing perpetually genuine.
Tahna: Thank you? I— the same frown?
Finch: Don’t worry, love, It’s part of your heritage. I’ve never met a Bajoran who couldn’t frown themselves into a stupor.
Monk: Shhh!
A nearby monk, a vision in orange and with a singular elongated earlobe down to his shoulder, frowned in their direction, his head shaking slowly. With a waxy hand, Doz gestured an apology to him, waving the candlestick around with tiny splatters landing on anything and everything within her vicinity.
Finch: ::Whispering:: I rest my case.
Tahna: ::Whispering:: Point, Doz Finch.
Meru stared pointedly at the floor, face hidden behind waves of dark hair, shoulders shaking with silent laughter. After a few moments spent recovering (and certain the stern prylar had moved on to other targets), Meru finally looked back at her unexpected company. The older woman, still intent on becoming one with the candle and masterfully deflecting inquiries about her wellbeing.
Tahna: But don’t tell me you just woke up and… ::She gestured vaguely with a hand.:: I don’t know, forgot about it.
Finch: ::With a frown of her own:: No! God, no, of course not. It’s there. Bits of this, bits of that. But I thought…I can’t dwell on this. Better to nip it in the bud there and then rather than be lost to it, because it’s too easy to do that.
Tahna: There are worse ways to cope.
Finch: Aye, there are. Though I suppose you’re something of an expert in that department. ::Leaning in:: I believe this isn’t the first time it’s happened on the Gorkon.
Meru caught herself frowning again, immediately conscious of Doz’s comment about impressive frowns being part of her heritage. She turned her attention to the stained glass wormhole instead, eyes tracing the intricate design like a path in a labyrinth.
Tahna: I don’t know, I guess…it was easier, this time. I’d had practice dealing with it. And Witherington wasn’t as horrible a memory for me as the—
…Cardassian prison. The words died in her throat. She wasn’t being intentionally evasive, but saying that, here, felt sacrilegious. Even thinking of that place, that horrid, false memory, threatened to shatter the peace of the temple. Meru quickly caught the woman’s eye, shrugged.
Tahna: A story for another time.
Finch: ::A knowing wink:: Say no more about it.
She watched the wax drip down Doz’s hands, realizing she was far more intent on that candle than the one she’d lit for her own meditation. A vedek would probably find some lesson there.
Tahna: My point is not that you have to talk to anyone, certainly not that you have to talk to someone you basically just met. ::She smiled.:: Just know that you’re not alone.
Finch: ::She leaned in again:: And neither are you, Tahna Meru.
Hushed whispers echoed across the vaulted ceiling, filling the quiet moment, carrying indiscernible stories from other Bajorans and tourists alike. Tahna closed her eyes, thoughts drifting. Starfleet was strange, in that it was both incredibly lonely (it tended to throw folks across the galaxy and separate them from everything they’d ever known) and profoundly connected. Experiences like Skarbek illuminated that contradiction.
Finch: Now you’ve got me thinking about it. After all the work I put into not thinking about it.
She pulled a toothy grin, and Meru smiled back, though some untouchable darkness lingered in her eyes.
Tahna: I was— Lark was a piece of work.
Finch: ::Thinking, she shook her head:: She was a leader, love. And a bloody good one at that. Which says a lot about you, I think. Assuming of course that bits of us filter “into it”. You know, into Skarbek.
Meru chuckled, the noise tinged with only a hint of discomfort, and fiddled with the hem of her tunic.
Tahna: She made some rather poor decisions, as I remember it. Like with Imul… ::Meru shook her head.:: I like to think I wouldn’t make those same mistakes, but I guess you don’t really know what you’re made of until it’s too late.
Imul.
His was a name Doz would always remember. His face, hazy, lingering there in her mind, shrouded in the engulfing rain that would never stop. Her brazen hands pressed against his back, as she pushed him into the enemy. The look on his face, in his eyes, as he sat against the inner hull of the shuttle afterwards. The affliction she caused him. Her narrow-mindedness.
Her eyebrows reached for each other, trembling a touch, eyes flitting left to right in thought.
One hard swallow, as if she had a brick in her throat, and a smile warmed her face again.
Finch: She did what she thought was right. ::She nodded:: And that’s the strange thing about life. You go through so many things, that you start to believe nothing can break you. Then something unexpected happens and it does. ::A small laugh:: I suppose my “pagh” has its limits.
TBC
–
Science Officer
USS Gorkon (NCC-82293)
G239801TM4
&
Engineering Officer
USS Gorkon
C239809SH3