Lt. Alieth - Dakh pthak. Nam-tor ri ret na'fan-kitok fa tu dakh pthak.
Alieth
((Deck 5, Gymnasium, USS Gorkon))
After they had sparred in a Betazoid martial combat practice and met the newest member of the engineering department, Alieth had finally opened up to tell the counsellor why she had come to the gym at such an unreasonable hour.
It was not an easy admission for the petite science chief, whose background and culture made her especially private about particularities that might be considered unvulcan. Nevertheless, Fortune, annoyingly bubbly and emotional as she was, had proven herself to be a consummate professional, a reliable person skilled at secret-keeping and, in general, a good friend.
Alieth: I have trouble focusing in meditation, as unwanted memories and emotions creep up on me and prevent me from achieving a proper state of mental calmness. More concerning, I have also been unable to sleep since days before the mission. Even though my sleep needs are much lower than non-vulcans, I am aware that my lack of rest approaches the point where it could be detrimental to my health.
A delicate frown graced the counsellor's face at that statement and, like a mirror, the corners of alieth's lips tightened faintly, a micro-expression that betrayed a hint of concern.
Fortune: Sleep is also a thing everyone has been complaining over, but is no less concerning. It’s a basic necessity to life. ::she shifted, looping an arm around her knees as she watched Alieth.:: Beyond the mission itself, is there something you can…kind of pin down on what’s causing it?
The fingers crossed in the Vulcan's lap trembled slightly and her dark eyes moved from Corliss' face to somewhere over her shoulder and behind her.
Alieth: I suppose one of the reasons is that since I suffered the Taniwha attack, the absence of light... disturbs me.
Fortune: A fear of the dark isn’t…rare, especially after what happened with the Taniwha.
Alieth: Even so, it is illogical. ::She let out a whiff of air through her nose, lips tightened again.::The creatures were cast out when the device was destroyed :: she abstained from commenting on her part in that destruction :: So, there is no longer any danger in the shadows, and she should have expelled any associated preoccupation.
She didn't mention it, but not only was she worried that she wouldn't be able to shake off this unrealistic fear, but it also bothered her that she wouldn't be able to overcome it.
It was not only irrational, it was infantile. She had overcome worse, she was smart and mature enough not to be swept away by an emotion like that, and yet she was not...
Fortune: Everyone expects a person to ‘grow out of it’, but a fear is what it says on the label: a fear. It’s our brain’s way of protecting us from a perceived threat. The Taniwha did what it did and now our minds are going into overdrive trying to defend against an unseen attacker.
Alieth remained silent, well aware of the biological basis the counsellor was suggesting. She had studied and dissected her own fear from countless perspectives, and yet she could not get rid of it. She understood it, and yet it was still there, clinging to her gut like a malignant, inoperable tumour.
Fortune:…you don’t…have to put yourself through all that, you know? If the dark is causing you trouble, if that is what is the main issue with going to sleep, then I’d plainly suggest a soft light at night. Something to chase away shadows, but not bright enough to keep you from fading to sleep.
Alieth: It is a reasonable recommendation, I will put it into practice.
Fortune: On the topic of meditation…maaaybe it would be helpful to have someone with you? To ground you, or just as a helping hand? Someone you’d trust, of course.
Alieth: It was my first approach, I tried to reach my mentor, but he was not available, and neither was going back to Vulcan with my parents. :: a small gleam brightened her eyes for just a fleeting moment:: Your bondmade, Loxley, would make a worthy guide in the future, but so far I am aware that his training is still too sub-par to help me. I have yet much to teach him.
Fortune: Response
Her remark about her boyfriend almost elicited a chuckle from the Vulcan, who had to work hard to keep her face composed. Even so, when she spoke, the appreciation she felt for the red-haired hybrid, weird as he was, was evident in her voice.
Alieth: Yes, indeed he is. Nevertheless, I should perhaps seek out a meditation partner, another Vulcan in the crew who has a Surakian formation. I thank you for the suggestion.
Fortune: Response
Alieth: The truth is that my interpersonal relationships have been neglected since I joined the Gorkon, a shortcoming on my part, so I do not count on too many close acquaintances in the crew, less from my own species.
The fact was that she had people she cared for among the crew, and she relished in the company. The counsellor herself, Cory, the Captain, Marshall (the coffee addict, not the humungous nuisance), Mr. Vorin, Piravao... however she had not grown as close to others as she would have liked and even those acquaintances that seemed more established had been put aside lately, focused as she had been on the last few missions, on researching the fragments of the Sasu Gol object and on herself.
Alieth: ::pensive:: Maybe I should get more involved with other crew members. Interpersonal connections are essential for a successful operation, after all.
Fortune: Response
Alieth:::to herself:: Dakh pthak. Nam-tor ri ret na'fan-kitok fa tu dakh pthak. :: The look on the counsellor's face made her quickly return to the standard.:: It is something you have reminded me of. Something someone who was very dear to me liked to repeat. It means "Cast out fear. There is no room for anything else until you cast out fear". Maybe I have devoted too much space in my mind to fear to leave room for anything else....
Fortune: Response
Lt. Alieth
Chief Science Officer
E239702A10
Image Collective Facilitator /Art Director
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