[I-QTRS] JP- LCDR Core & Lt. Moonsong: A Helpful Mind Part 1
gemsong120
((Deck 3-Quarters: Moonsong))
::Raissa stretched out on her couch, her hands to her head. The move had been exhausting and hectic. Her personal belongings looked as if they had been flung around the room in a fit of temper. Her quarters were larger than they had been on the Garuda and perhaps a little more luxurious but at the moment they were still in state of being stark and impersonal.::
::But at the moment the state of her quarters were the last thing on her mind. Fatigue and pain was pushing her to the point where she soon would not be able to function. Her ability was not dampening down back to her normal levels. Sensing thoughts and emotions from around the ship was at if she was drowning. Emotions that were not her own beat at her until she was unsure what she was feeling. She needed help.::
::Without opening her eyes, she reached with one hand to her new coffee table, fumbling until she felt the solid shape of her commbadge. With a touch she was able to activate it.
Moonsong: =/\= Moonsong to Core.=/\=
Core: =/\= Here. =/\=
Moonsong: =/\= You said you could help…..=/\=
::There was a slight pause. ::
Core: =/\= Sorry? =/\=
::Raissa realized she wasn’t making any sense. Naturally he was confused.::
Moonsong: =/\= Voices…. too many voices… You said...you could help…=/\=
Core: =/\= Where are you? =/\=
Moonsong: =/\= Quarters…. Deck 3…..=/\=
Core: =/\= On my way. Breathe, try focus one voice. =/\=
::Breathe? Well maybe she could do that. Breathing would be good. Breathing was her friend. Breathing was a fine thing.::
Moonsong: =/\= Breathe…. yes…. =/\=
Core: =/\= Almost to you. =/\=
::And true to his word, the Rodulan pressed the chime to the counselor's door, cringing slightly as he did so. His own experience with telepathy aside, getting a door chime in your ear when you had a splitting headache was never normally a painless experience.::
::She winced at the sound and it took her a moment to identify it. Door. Tristam. Oh yes.::
Moonsong: Come in….
::He did so as quietly as possible. ::
Core: Counselor?
::Tristam found himself crouching next to the couch, a slight frown on his features as he took in the situation. He didn't need his own telepathy to know that Moonsong was under stress.::
::Raissa hadn’t changed out of her uniform which was now looking decidedly rumpled. She looked like someone had put her in the dryer spin cycle with bricks for far too long.::
::She opened her eyes to slits as she looked at the Rodulan beside her. Since he was close, she felt his concern. But now she was having a hard time making sense.::
Moonsong: They’re gone…. so quiet…. just me…. ::frowns:: I feel you…. I shouldn’t feel you….
Core: Few hundred telepathic minds will do that. Probably better, though. Rodulans black holes most of time . . . unsettling to some, useful to others.
Moonsong: You… how do you….
::Raissa sucked in her breath, her eyes filling with tears.::
Moonsong: Hear… your voice… and thoughts… echo….
Core: In my head? ::He gave a huff.:: Get used to it eventually - takes . . . practise, patience. Sucks, sure, but better than driving self crazy.
Moonsong: ::she shook her head slightly, wincing:: I don’t… understand….
Core: It's . . . not something understandable. ::He looked away briefly.:: When was . . . last time you cleared head? No thoughts, feelings, just you and ability.
::She struggled to remember. It was before she agreed to host the Community. She hadn’t been alone since.::
Moonsong: Months…. Community….
Core: Did you meditate?
::Supposedly, meditation was a common Betazoid activity. Though powerful telepaths themselves, Tristam and his family never really engaged in such a thing. Gamighan was quite fond of just staring off into space, letting all thoughts and feelings become ignored. Tristam and Taywor just . . . worked. Became more invested in whatever task they were doing. Ways of coping with the stress of nothingness or frequent telepathic noise varied between every individual - what Moonsong needed was her own.::
Moonsong: ::she nodded slightly.:: Used… to…
::Before the Community, meditation was the only stress reliever that Raissa had prior. She had not expected to be so busy with counseling on a ship of the Garuda’s class. Despite what many would think, Counseling was a very stressful job. She hadn’t had a real break since she had joined the ship fresh out of the Academy.::
::As Saveron had warned her, she had become dependant on the hundreds of minds that had merged with her. She was alone in her head more than she had ever felt in her life. And she hadn’t realized they had been shielding her mind from the roar of the crowd.::
Core: Okay, well. Teach me how meditate.
Moonsong: ::She nodded.:: Okay…. ::Without thinking she reached out and touched his arm.:: Thank you… Tristam…
Core: You thanking me for? Haven't done anything. ::He grinned.::
Moonsong: For… trying to help…. me….
::She took a deep breath.::
Moonsong: Incense…. sage… White pillar candle… to meditate… focus on the flame…. fire to cleanse….
Core: Thought *water* cleanse.
::He was deliberately trying to keep her talking, focused on something else for a little while.::
Moonsong: Yes… water too… but harder to… become with it….
Core: What's difference?
Moonsong: Fire burns… burns away the negative… yet like water... it is changeable…alive…
Core:::he rose an eyebrow:: Betazoid belief?
Moonsong: Ojibwe….
Core: Hmm?
::She frowned, trying to think. It was difficult, but it did help her focus.::
Moonsong: Ethnic group… Earth… only grandmother was Betazoid. Rest of us are natives.
Core: Community certainly did number on telepathy - that powerful quarter Betazoid unheard of. Understandable you’re having trouble coming back to ‘normal’.
::Her mouth tightened a little in irritation. It was a common reaction among other species that she didn’t realize annoyed her.::
Moonsong: There are… human telepaths… And have been… for many generations.
Core: True. But human telepaths don’t host Community . . . often. Or at all. Going from hundreds voices a day to . . . handful? If that? Forget *my* sob story - you’re queen now. ::He paused, lips pulling into a grin.:: Sorry. Wasn’t nice.
Moonsong: ::she blinked at him.:: Then why did you say it?
Core: Thought was humorous. ::He shrugged.:: Not fair to you. Keep comments to self from now on.
::As she focused on Tristam the other voices seemed to be less immediate. Her hand remained on his arm. ::
Moonsong: But why do you do it? You say things that are hurtful to people.
Core: Told it was coping mechanism by . . . numerous people. Brother frowns at it.
Moonsong: You’re not coping. You’re isolating yourself. Preventing anyone from being close to you or helping you.
::Well. Except for Rahman, but in all honesty, he started that relationship on his snark.::
Core: Ten years worth attitude and six isolation. ::He nodded.:: Making friend’s hard.
::Her smile was weak, but it was at least a smile. Tristam may no longer be telepathic, but the mental disciplines he grew up with were inherent in the way his mind worked. Touching him enhanced their connection. She wasn’t reading his mind. What she couldn’t stop was the echo between his directed thoughts that became audible words.::
Moonsong: Yes, is hard to make friends when you insult them. People are funny about that.
Core: Should meet Guan Medledore. Then understand where got my coping mechanism from.
::Medledore was brutally honest and highly opinionated. If she had a problem with something or someone, she was quite vocal about it. Perhaps Tristam was lucky that he didn’t *entirely* inherit her . . . attitude.::
Core: Feeling better?
::She was silent as she assessed herself. Somehow he had helped her. Some of the strain had eased a little.::
Moonsong: Yes… somehow you helped me….
Core: Kept mind off it. Plus, you needed company. Can’t isolate yourself from friends. Not healthy for recovering mind.
Moonsong: ::a faint chuckle escaped her.:: Do as I say, not as I do?
Core: Yeah. ::He smiled.:: Small groups of people, avoid crowds - . . . noise.
Moonsong: I shall… do my best…. ::she squeezed his arm slightly.:: It does not mean I am going to leave you alone about your coping toys.
Core: Bump to head and . . . uh . . . zap? . . . Made words worse. Hmm . . . Doc doesn’t think . . . that . . . talking for long. Won’t be good company. Great at listening, though.
::Raissa looked at him for a long moment. She stared directly into the dark depths of his eyes. A Rodulan gaze generally put many people off, but she found them fascinating. One of their more attractive features.::
Moonsong: I am not good company. So why are you here?
Core: Helping before happens. And . . . been through this before. Alone. Not fun experience.
Moonsong: Why do you care?
Core: Shouldn’t I?
Moonsong: Only you can answer that.
::Her eyes studied his face. He needed a haircut and a shave.::
Moonsong: Think about it.
::Thinking about what he wanted to say was fine - it was actually saying it he was having increasing difficulty with. And he was becoming more and more frustrated with himself - he’d know exactly what he wanted to say, but forming those words with his mouth just wasn’t happening - so he’d resorted to shortening sentences, coming up with simpler words, using an Attraxan or Krzexxi language here and there (not that those with a translator noticed). He’d also started clicking his fingers to get people’s attention - not necessarily something that was appreciated by his officers at this point, but it was better than standing there waiting for them to turn around and for him to fumble their names straight up. His staff knew something was wrong with his speech production, but none of them had yet to ask him about it - a blessing, but he couldn’t keep hoping they wouldn’t start questioning it.
::There was a pause as he considered his next words, his head tilting slightly as he did so, and he focused on actually forming them correctly.::
Core: Why answer silly question? Telepathy . . . not easy alone. Loneliness in telepaths . . . its . . . hard. Uh . . . bad for . . .
::Whatever. She would have gotten the jist of what he was saying - he hoped. He gave another shrug.::
Core: Yeah.
::She frowned slightly. She noted his continued difficulty with language. That in itself had to be bothering him, but it still didn’t answer the question. Focusing on him was helping her.::
TBC
==============
LtCmdr Tristam Core
Chief Engineer
USS Invicta
and
Lt. Raissa Moonsong
Chief of Counseling
USS Invicta