Gott, Ferengi Psychotherapist - The Exchange Rate
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Karrod Niac
Apr 21, 2022, 12:21:09 PM4/21/22
to USS Excalibur-A – StarBase 118 Star Trek PBEM RPG
((Main Sickbay, USS Excalibur))
oO Blessed Exchequer, what a hideous color.Oo
The furnishings were spartan and drab, entirely lacking style. His first impression of the Starfleet ship to which he'd been temporarily assigned was not a pleasant one. Nor had been his long shuttle trip from Deep Space 224, the monolithic Starbase that had seemed so promising from the supplied reading material but which had been so dull and banal in person. In fact, the last pleasant experience he'd had since leaving his sumptuous offices on Ferenginar had been comprehensively fleecing several naive Starfleet officers who thought they were teaching him the ancient human card game, Poker. As if any good Ferengi hadn't learned how to play it, and kept that fact to themselves, years ago. Humans. So gullible. So trusting.
He tried to remember again how he'd been 'convinced' to take this 'prestigious opportunity' offered by the Interspecies Medical Exchange, that venerable organization that had existed for some three centuries and which had, for most of that time, completely failed to turn a reasonable profit of any kind. Ultimately, it boiled down to Rule of Acquisition One Hundred and Twelve* and his comprehensive disregard for it. Unfortunately his bosses sister had turned out to be significantly less discreet than their NDSA (non-disclosure-sexual-agreement) specified. While he should've made a tidy sum once the matter had been resolved by the courts he had found himself 'volunteered' by his very upset boss before he could even file the appropriate bribes. He sighed to himself, the truth of the two hundredth and twenty ninth Rule** ringing in his lobes. The Starfleet crewman who had accompanied him from the shuttle bay with his luggage in tow coughed in what Gott found to be an entirely annoying way, perhaps to remind him of his existence. To be fair, Gott had entirely forgotten about it several times already.
Gott: Yes yes, start bringing it all in and get it unpacked. And don't dare scuff that luggage, it was a gift from the Nagus herself!
It was nothing of the kind, of course, but if there was even the faintest blemish on one of the shining transport cases by the time they were done Gott would make certain to file a strongly worded complaint in just as many places as he could think to. With no apparent greeting party waiting for him, as would've befit his eminent arrival, he began rapping his knuckles repeatedly on a nearby table. The instruments, so delicately arranged and neatly arrayed, rattled in their frames.
Gott: Hello?! Hello!? Does no one greet dignitaries on this ship?!
A fuzzy headed humanoid who Gott suspected was human...or betazoid...or one of the other tiny lobed races he couldn't bother remembering the names of...stepped out of a pathetically small side office at the noise and faced him in confusion.
Adea: Response
Gott: Oh Hello There Son, do you work here? Could you go find your boss and tell them their new visiting specialist has arrived...if you're quick about it I won't even tell them how ridiculous that hair of yours looks.
Adea: Response
Gott: Your sickbay? Starfleet must be in worse shape than I thought. Fine fine, just point me to my offices so they can start unpacking my things. I assume you've already had the water feature put in? The sconces?
Adea: Response
Gott: Do you not know who I am? I'm FCA Licensed Psychotherapist Gott. Yes, yes, esteemed author of 'Gotta Heal to Make Deals' and 'Gott Feels?' I'm sure you've read all my papers...well, if you could afford them.
Adea: Response
Gott rolled his eyes, a small lobeache already throbbing into something larger.
Gott: I'm your new Ships Counselor, of course! Interspecies Medical Exchange - you've heard of that I hope? Are you sure there isn't someone else in charge around here?
Adea: Response
Tags/TBC
*Rule Of Acquisition 112: "Never have sex with the boss' sister."
**Rule Of Acquisition 229: "Latinum lasts longer than lust."
======================================
Gott
Ferengi Commerce Authority Bonded Psychotherapist
Noted Author
Ships Counselor, Interspecies Medical Exchange
V239509GT0
oO Blessed Exchequer, what a hideous color.Oo
The furnishings were spartan and drab, entirely lacking style. His first impression of the Starfleet ship to which he'd been temporarily assigned was not a pleasant one. Nor had been his long shuttle trip from Deep Space 224, the monolithic Starbase that had seemed so promising from the supplied reading material but which had been so dull and banal in person. In fact, the last pleasant experience he'd had since leaving his sumptuous offices on Ferenginar had been comprehensively fleecing several naive Starfleet officers who thought they were teaching him the ancient human card game, Poker. As if any good Ferengi hadn't learned how to play it, and kept that fact to themselves, years ago. Humans. So gullible. So trusting.
He tried to remember again how he'd been 'convinced' to take this 'prestigious opportunity' offered by the Interspecies Medical Exchange, that venerable organization that had existed for some three centuries and which had, for most of that time, completely failed to turn a reasonable profit of any kind. Ultimately, it boiled down to Rule of Acquisition One Hundred and Twelve* and his comprehensive disregard for it. Unfortunately his bosses sister had turned out to be significantly less discreet than their NDSA (non-disclosure-sexual-agreement) specified. While he should've made a tidy sum once the matter had been resolved by the courts he had found himself 'volunteered' by his very upset boss before he could even file the appropriate bribes. He sighed to himself, the truth of the two hundredth and twenty ninth Rule** ringing in his lobes. The Starfleet crewman who had accompanied him from the shuttle bay with his luggage in tow coughed in what Gott found to be an entirely annoying way, perhaps to remind him of his existence. To be fair, Gott had entirely forgotten about it several times already.
Gott: Yes yes, start bringing it all in and get it unpacked. And don't dare scuff that luggage, it was a gift from the Nagus herself!
It was nothing of the kind, of course, but if there was even the faintest blemish on one of the shining transport cases by the time they were done Gott would make certain to file a strongly worded complaint in just as many places as he could think to. With no apparent greeting party waiting for him, as would've befit his eminent arrival, he began rapping his knuckles repeatedly on a nearby table. The instruments, so delicately arranged and neatly arrayed, rattled in their frames.
Gott: Hello?! Hello!? Does no one greet dignitaries on this ship?!
A fuzzy headed humanoid who Gott suspected was human...or betazoid...or one of the other tiny lobed races he couldn't bother remembering the names of...stepped out of a pathetically small side office at the noise and faced him in confusion.
Adea: Response
Gott: Oh Hello There Son, do you work here? Could you go find your boss and tell them their new visiting specialist has arrived...if you're quick about it I won't even tell them how ridiculous that hair of yours looks.
Adea: Response
Gott: Your sickbay? Starfleet must be in worse shape than I thought. Fine fine, just point me to my offices so they can start unpacking my things. I assume you've already had the water feature put in? The sconces?
Adea: Response
Gott: Do you not know who I am? I'm FCA Licensed Psychotherapist Gott. Yes, yes, esteemed author of 'Gotta Heal to Make Deals' and 'Gott Feels?' I'm sure you've read all my papers...well, if you could afford them.
Adea: Response
Gott rolled his eyes, a small lobeache already throbbing into something larger.
Gott: I'm your new Ships Counselor, of course! Interspecies Medical Exchange - you've heard of that I hope? Are you sure there isn't someone else in charge around here?
Adea: Response
Tags/TBC
*Rule Of Acquisition 112: "Never have sex with the boss' sister."
**Rule Of Acquisition 229: "Latinum lasts longer than lust."
======================================
Gott
Ferengi Commerce Authority Bonded Psychotherapist
Noted Author
Ships Counselor, Interspecies Medical Exchange
V239509GT0
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