Cmdr. Karrod Niac - The Deflation of Man
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Karrod Niac
May 12, 2022, 1:22:37 AM5/12/22
to USS Excalibur-A – StarBase 118 Star Trek PBEM RPG
(('Bistro Manev,' Holodeck 2, Deck 6, USS Excalibur))
MacKenzie: If you’re asking if I’ve ever doubted whether or not I should have taken a job, the answer is yes.
From across the table and Karrod suspected from across the whole of the quadrant he could see a shadow pass over Addison's face. It was the first time he'd seen her composure slip in even the slightest measure. A moment later it was gone and the mask of cool competence was firmly reaffixed save for a subtle stiffening of her posture.
Niac: In that case, what did you do?
Addison's arms went up in gesture of quiet resignation. For a woman whose expression so routinely came off as sharp and flip it was an unsettling reversal.
MacKenzie: Well there’s always some hesitation about whether or not you should walk through the door, but once you make the decision, there’s very little sense in worry about what might have been. All you can do is look at where you are now, where you want to go, and figure out the best way to get there. If your current path won’t get it done, find a new one.
Karrod had met Vulcan priests who could learn lessons on stoicism from this woman. So could he.
Niac: You've got a remarkably clear perspective, Addison. ::Karrod took a final sip of his wine:: In fact, it's part of the reason I've asked you to join me tonight.
Addison delicately finished the last few morsels of her dessert, her sly smile back in place. Karrod wondered if he'd ever know all that hid behind it. With the final bite savored she refocused her attention squarely on him. He'd never noticed how her eyes had subtle shades of turquoise and sapphire mixed into their deeper cerulean blue.
MacKenzie: What are you struggling with, Commander?
Karrod exhaled slowly, trying to bring to a point all that he'd been considering. It was at once very simple and entirely too much to wrap words around. Any explanation he formed seemed inadequate. Niac remained unusually quiescent, perhaps realizing this was something Karrod needed to navigate for himself.
Niac: Quite simply, Addison, my future.
MacKenzie: Are you talking about Starfleet?
Karrod smiled across the table, meeting Addison's piercing gaze.
Niac: No, Addison. I'm talking about you. I'd like you to be a part of that future.
MacKenzie: Response
Karrod placed a callused hand near the center of the table, inviting but not insisting.
Niac: A lifetime ago I made a choice, Addison. A choice between the career I thought I wanted and a life I could've had. In doing so, I gave away something...precious. I didn't realize it at first but as the years wore on me like wind on stone, it dawned on me.
MacKenzie: Response
Niac: By then? By then it was too late. And I looked at the life I'd lead and I realized that I'd mistaken loneliness for independence. Years of solitude, sacrificed on the altar of duty and responsibility, began to look...empty. Like the apartment I'd had in San Francisco. I've never told anyone this...I've barely admitted it to myself. But it's one of the reasons I accepted the Joining. I was tired of being alone. And even with all these other minds sharing my skull...I still felt that absence. Until I met you.
MacKenzie: Response
Niac: I know we live dangerous lives, Addison. Niac's history is a chronicle of misfortune and stories which end much sooner than they should. Maybe that's why I think it's important that you understand how I feel. Because I may be a damn fool but I'm not going to make the same mistake twice.
MacKenzie: Response
Tags/TBC
===============================
Commander Karrod Niac
Chief of Operations
USS Excalibur - NCC-41903-A
Commodore Kali Nicholotti, Commanding
V239509GT0
MacKenzie: If you’re asking if I’ve ever doubted whether or not I should have taken a job, the answer is yes.
From across the table and Karrod suspected from across the whole of the quadrant he could see a shadow pass over Addison's face. It was the first time he'd seen her composure slip in even the slightest measure. A moment later it was gone and the mask of cool competence was firmly reaffixed save for a subtle stiffening of her posture.
Niac: In that case, what did you do?
Addison's arms went up in gesture of quiet resignation. For a woman whose expression so routinely came off as sharp and flip it was an unsettling reversal.
MacKenzie: Well there’s always some hesitation about whether or not you should walk through the door, but once you make the decision, there’s very little sense in worry about what might have been. All you can do is look at where you are now, where you want to go, and figure out the best way to get there. If your current path won’t get it done, find a new one.
Karrod had met Vulcan priests who could learn lessons on stoicism from this woman. So could he.
Niac: You've got a remarkably clear perspective, Addison. ::Karrod took a final sip of his wine:: In fact, it's part of the reason I've asked you to join me tonight.
Addison delicately finished the last few morsels of her dessert, her sly smile back in place. Karrod wondered if he'd ever know all that hid behind it. With the final bite savored she refocused her attention squarely on him. He'd never noticed how her eyes had subtle shades of turquoise and sapphire mixed into their deeper cerulean blue.
MacKenzie: What are you struggling with, Commander?
Karrod exhaled slowly, trying to bring to a point all that he'd been considering. It was at once very simple and entirely too much to wrap words around. Any explanation he formed seemed inadequate. Niac remained unusually quiescent, perhaps realizing this was something Karrod needed to navigate for himself.
Niac: Quite simply, Addison, my future.
MacKenzie: Are you talking about Starfleet?
Karrod smiled across the table, meeting Addison's piercing gaze.
Niac: No, Addison. I'm talking about you. I'd like you to be a part of that future.
MacKenzie: Response
Karrod placed a callused hand near the center of the table, inviting but not insisting.
Niac: A lifetime ago I made a choice, Addison. A choice between the career I thought I wanted and a life I could've had. In doing so, I gave away something...precious. I didn't realize it at first but as the years wore on me like wind on stone, it dawned on me.
MacKenzie: Response
Niac: By then? By then it was too late. And I looked at the life I'd lead and I realized that I'd mistaken loneliness for independence. Years of solitude, sacrificed on the altar of duty and responsibility, began to look...empty. Like the apartment I'd had in San Francisco. I've never told anyone this...I've barely admitted it to myself. But it's one of the reasons I accepted the Joining. I was tired of being alone. And even with all these other minds sharing my skull...I still felt that absence. Until I met you.
MacKenzie: Response
Niac: I know we live dangerous lives, Addison. Niac's history is a chronicle of misfortune and stories which end much sooner than they should. Maybe that's why I think it's important that you understand how I feel. Because I may be a damn fool but I'm not going to make the same mistake twice.
MacKenzie: Response
Tags/TBC
===============================
Commander Karrod Niac
Chief of Operations
USS Excalibur - NCC-41903-A
Commodore Kali Nicholotti, Commanding
V239509GT0
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