Lieutenant Elor Letek - Say it out loud and let it go
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Lieutenant Elor Letek
4:07 AM (15 hours ago) 4:07 AM
to USS Eagle
((Counselling Offices, Deck 4 near Main Sickbay, USS Eagle-A))
Elor knew, when he told Counselor Thorne about what he wanted to work through, that it was really just old news. The issue had been resolved some time ago, and everything had actually been settled, but somehow he hadn’t quite found closure yet. That was what he hoped to achieve from this session. Not that any solutions would be found, but that he could mentally check the box on this issue and move on without constantly being mentally transported back to that point.
Thorne: It seems like you’ve been thinking about this a bit already. What is it you’re looking to get by discussing this with me?
That was, relatively speaking, an easy question to answer. He didn’t want suggestions for solutions, nor did he want to complain about how unfair life was, but perhaps, just a tiny bit, he wanted someone completely outside his circle, someone who felt no connection to him beyond a sense of collegiality, to take him by the hand and tell him that everything would be all right.
Letek: I think I’m just hoping this session will give me a little... guidance. A chance to reevaluate my feelings with the help of an outsider and understand why I react the way I do.
Thorne: We can certainly talk things over. People often discover insights when they share a problem or experience with someone new.
Letek: And maybe also a little reassurance that I didn’t overreact completely.
The counsellor gave him another of her best smiles.
Thorne: Reassurance isn’t necessarily an output of these sessions. I can listen, help you explore your feelings, even discuss things you could do differently in future, but I can’t change what has already happened. You just need to come to terms with that.
Letek: Maybe that’s exactly what I need. Someone completely outside the situation who’ll just listen to the story… so I can get it off my chest, so to speak.
Counselor Thorne wasn’t the type to sugarcoat things or gloss over the facts. And that was a good thing. She helped him look at the situation from a more objective, less emotional perspective.
Thorne: However, I will go back to my earlier question. So what? So what that you felt jealous? If you overreacted? You’ve already said you’re smoothed things over with your friend, and given how much you’ve been thinking about this I don’t think there’s much danger of you acting the same way in future. It seems all you’re doing by going over it is making yourself feel bad.
That gave Elor pause. Was she right? Had the matter actually been settled much earlier, and had he, for whatever idiotic reason, simply kept dragging it out? Did he perhaps just want to wallow a little in self-pity? It was true. He’d overreacted, had been jealous, and had subsequently talked things out with Noemi. And now he was sitting here, bringing the subject up again, even though there was really nothing more to say about it.
Letek: ::Clearing his throat:: Maybe that’s true. Actually, the issue has long been settled. But instead of looking ahead and thinking about the future, I’m digging it up again and feeling bad.
Realization was in his eyes. None of this made any sense. What was he doing here? He couldn’t change the past, and he didn’t even want to. He should focus on the future instead, and on where his path would lead him. Instead, he was just looking back at the fork in the road he’d missed.
Thorne: You mentioned that one of your principle career goals is to become a CMO. It’s always more productive to focus on things you can control, rather than things you can’t, so instead of feeling sorry for yourself that the captain chose Lieutenant Lim over you perhaps consider what you need to change to make sure you’re the one that is chosen next time?
Yeah, maybe he should give it some thought. He didn’t think he’d done a bad job. But maybe he still needed to try harder. Be more committed. He’d have to think about it.
Letek: I think… you’ve hit on the point I couldn’t find. It just doesn’t make sense to keep getting stuck in the past.
Thorne: Response?
Elor emptied the glass in his hand and set it back on the table before standing up and brushing imaginary dust off his pants.
Letek: Thank you, counsellor. I think I can finally find closure now. I don’t know yet how this will affect the future, but I see things more clearly now and I think I can finally let go.
Thorne: Response?
For the first time since the session began, a smile crept onto his lips. Before turning to leave, he nodded gratefully at her.
Letek: I hope you’ll be able to enjoy our stay on Bolarus IX a little and won’t have to constantly worry about the crew’s concerns.
Thorne: Response?
With another nod, he said goodbye and left the office. He might not have learned anything specific about himself, but he had finally found a way to move on.
TAG / END for Elor
Elor knew, when he told Counselor Thorne about what he wanted to work through, that it was really just old news. The issue had been resolved some time ago, and everything had actually been settled, but somehow he hadn’t quite found closure yet. That was what he hoped to achieve from this session. Not that any solutions would be found, but that he could mentally check the box on this issue and move on without constantly being mentally transported back to that point.
Thorne: It seems like you’ve been thinking about this a bit already. What is it you’re looking to get by discussing this with me?
That was, relatively speaking, an easy question to answer. He didn’t want suggestions for solutions, nor did he want to complain about how unfair life was, but perhaps, just a tiny bit, he wanted someone completely outside his circle, someone who felt no connection to him beyond a sense of collegiality, to take him by the hand and tell him that everything would be all right.
Letek: I think I’m just hoping this session will give me a little... guidance. A chance to reevaluate my feelings with the help of an outsider and understand why I react the way I do.
Thorne: We can certainly talk things over. People often discover insights when they share a problem or experience with someone new.
Letek: And maybe also a little reassurance that I didn’t overreact completely.
The counsellor gave him another of her best smiles.
Thorne: Reassurance isn’t necessarily an output of these sessions. I can listen, help you explore your feelings, even discuss things you could do differently in future, but I can’t change what has already happened. You just need to come to terms with that.
Letek: Maybe that’s exactly what I need. Someone completely outside the situation who’ll just listen to the story… so I can get it off my chest, so to speak.
Counselor Thorne wasn’t the type to sugarcoat things or gloss over the facts. And that was a good thing. She helped him look at the situation from a more objective, less emotional perspective.
Thorne: However, I will go back to my earlier question. So what? So what that you felt jealous? If you overreacted? You’ve already said you’re smoothed things over with your friend, and given how much you’ve been thinking about this I don’t think there’s much danger of you acting the same way in future. It seems all you’re doing by going over it is making yourself feel bad.
That gave Elor pause. Was she right? Had the matter actually been settled much earlier, and had he, for whatever idiotic reason, simply kept dragging it out? Did he perhaps just want to wallow a little in self-pity? It was true. He’d overreacted, had been jealous, and had subsequently talked things out with Noemi. And now he was sitting here, bringing the subject up again, even though there was really nothing more to say about it.
Letek: ::Clearing his throat:: Maybe that’s true. Actually, the issue has long been settled. But instead of looking ahead and thinking about the future, I’m digging it up again and feeling bad.
Realization was in his eyes. None of this made any sense. What was he doing here? He couldn’t change the past, and he didn’t even want to. He should focus on the future instead, and on where his path would lead him. Instead, he was just looking back at the fork in the road he’d missed.
Thorne: You mentioned that one of your principle career goals is to become a CMO. It’s always more productive to focus on things you can control, rather than things you can’t, so instead of feeling sorry for yourself that the captain chose Lieutenant Lim over you perhaps consider what you need to change to make sure you’re the one that is chosen next time?
Yeah, maybe he should give it some thought. He didn’t think he’d done a bad job. But maybe he still needed to try harder. Be more committed. He’d have to think about it.
Letek: I think… you’ve hit on the point I couldn’t find. It just doesn’t make sense to keep getting stuck in the past.
Thorne: Response?
Elor emptied the glass in his hand and set it back on the table before standing up and brushing imaginary dust off his pants.
Letek: Thank you, counsellor. I think I can finally find closure now. I don’t know yet how this will affect the future, but I see things more clearly now and I think I can finally let go.
Thorne: Response?
For the first time since the session began, a smile crept onto his lips. Before turning to leave, he nodded gratefully at her.
Letek: I hope you’ll be able to enjoy our stay on Bolarus IX a little and won’t have to constantly worry about the crew’s concerns.
Thorne: Response?
With another nod, he said goodbye and left the office. He might not have learned anything specific about himself, but he had finally found a way to move on.
TAG / END for Elor
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Lieutenant Elor Letek
Medical Officer
USS Eagle
E240201EL2
Patients are asked not to die in the corridors.
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