Lieutenant Elor Letek - Laying it bare
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Lieutenant Elor Letek
Mar 30, 2026, 12:07:57 AM (3 days ago) Mar 30
to USS Eagle
((Counselling Offices, Deck 4 near Main Sickbay, USS Eagle-A))
Elor wasn't really the type to blush easily. Even though he could sometimes be thrown off balance or easily unsettled, he always did his best not to let it show.
He wasn’t the most confident person. Not by a long shot. But true to the motto, “fake it till you make it,” he always tried to come across as reasonably confident and competent.
However, talking about his feelings and thoughts was something deeply personal, and he preferred to confide in only a very few people. Of course, there was Edward, his boyfriend, to whom he probably showed his most honest side. Edward was his safe haven, where he could show weakness without having to fear rejection.
Perhaps he would also count Tholin among his confidants to the extent that he showed him a less polished version of himself than he did to others.
But a counsellor... He knew that what he said here would be treated as strictly confidential, but it bothered him to reveal so much of himself to someone who was practically a stranger.
Nevertheless, he was here now and trying to work on himself.
Letek: My colleague in the sickbay was also promoted to lieutenant. And to chief medical officer, too.
Thorne: And I'm guessing you're not happy with how you reacted?
Letek: Yes. Not because I begrudge her it or because I think I’m more competent. Not at all. I have great respect for her, and that’s precisely why I’m still so incredibly embarrassed by how I reacted. Instead of being happy for her, my first reaction was just jealousy. And that’s not who I am. I’m not a jealous Bajoran. Especially not when it comes to people I care about.
Counsellor Thorne didn’t seem the least bit surprised. Presumably, this kind of situation was nothing out of the ordinary in her office. After all, they were all still sentient beings who didn’t live in a utopian, perfect world.
Thorne: This may seem like an odd question to ask, but so what?
That question threw him off balance. He had expected gentle, reassuring words that would explain to him that while it might not have been a pleasant reaction, it was understandable, and that, after all, everyone could only control their emotions to a certain extent. Except for the Vulcans, of course.
Letek: ::Hesitantly:: I... that...
She watched his reaction curiously.
Thorne: We can't control how we initially react to something emotionally. We can control how we react to that response. Did you let your emotions affect your relationship with her?
For a moment, Elor thought back to that Christmas party. He’d tried hard not to let on, even though he knew he’d been very quiet after the announcement and had left the party pretty quickly.
Letek: I think...at first, yes. Maybe not right away, but she certainly noticed that I wasn’t happy she got the position I wanted. ::After a short pause:: I’ve since talked it out with her. Told her I’m sorry for my reaction and that I’m really happy for her, even though I would have liked to have gotten that promotion. We get along. We’re a good team. I don’t think she holds it against me.
The counsellor directed another of her reassuring smiles at him.
Thorne: That's good. Now, given you're not a jealous person why do you think you felt the way you did?
Elor fell into thought for a moment. He had asked himself that question several times before, but hadn’t yet been able to find a completely satisfactory answer.
Letek: There are many options, but I don’t know which one is right. For one thing, the position of CMO is what I wanted to achieve in Starfleet. Or rather, what I still want. It doesn’t mean that I’ll be denied that forever. However, it also puts me in a position where I have to think about my future. Do I want it so badly that I might even leave the ship to try my luck elsewhere? Or am I content with second place? And... of course, I also wonder what I could have done better. Captain Adea surely didn’t decide who got the job by rolling a dice. Maybe... I also saw it as a bit of a personal criticism.
Thorne: Response?
Elor leaned forward toward the small table to take a big gulp of water. It never ceased to amaze him how exhausting it was to speak so openly about his feelings.
Letek: I think I’m just hoping this session will give me a little... guidance. A chance to reevaluate my feelings with the help of an outsider and understand why I react the way I do.
Thorne: Response?
Ultimately, it was also a way of coming to terms with it. A chance to reflect once more on what happened and what he can do better in the future.
Letek: And maybe also a little reassurance that I didn’t overreact completely.
Thorne: Response?
TAG / TBC
Elor wasn't really the type to blush easily. Even though he could sometimes be thrown off balance or easily unsettled, he always did his best not to let it show.
He wasn’t the most confident person. Not by a long shot. But true to the motto, “fake it till you make it,” he always tried to come across as reasonably confident and competent.
However, talking about his feelings and thoughts was something deeply personal, and he preferred to confide in only a very few people. Of course, there was Edward, his boyfriend, to whom he probably showed his most honest side. Edward was his safe haven, where he could show weakness without having to fear rejection.
Perhaps he would also count Tholin among his confidants to the extent that he showed him a less polished version of himself than he did to others.
But a counsellor... He knew that what he said here would be treated as strictly confidential, but it bothered him to reveal so much of himself to someone who was practically a stranger.
Nevertheless, he was here now and trying to work on himself.
Letek: My colleague in the sickbay was also promoted to lieutenant. And to chief medical officer, too.
Thorne: And I'm guessing you're not happy with how you reacted?
Letek: Yes. Not because I begrudge her it or because I think I’m more competent. Not at all. I have great respect for her, and that’s precisely why I’m still so incredibly embarrassed by how I reacted. Instead of being happy for her, my first reaction was just jealousy. And that’s not who I am. I’m not a jealous Bajoran. Especially not when it comes to people I care about.
Counsellor Thorne didn’t seem the least bit surprised. Presumably, this kind of situation was nothing out of the ordinary in her office. After all, they were all still sentient beings who didn’t live in a utopian, perfect world.
Thorne: This may seem like an odd question to ask, but so what?
That question threw him off balance. He had expected gentle, reassuring words that would explain to him that while it might not have been a pleasant reaction, it was understandable, and that, after all, everyone could only control their emotions to a certain extent. Except for the Vulcans, of course.
Letek: ::Hesitantly:: I... that...
She watched his reaction curiously.
Thorne: We can't control how we initially react to something emotionally. We can control how we react to that response. Did you let your emotions affect your relationship with her?
For a moment, Elor thought back to that Christmas party. He’d tried hard not to let on, even though he knew he’d been very quiet after the announcement and had left the party pretty quickly.
Letek: I think...at first, yes. Maybe not right away, but she certainly noticed that I wasn’t happy she got the position I wanted. ::After a short pause:: I’ve since talked it out with her. Told her I’m sorry for my reaction and that I’m really happy for her, even though I would have liked to have gotten that promotion. We get along. We’re a good team. I don’t think she holds it against me.
The counsellor directed another of her reassuring smiles at him.
Thorne: That's good. Now, given you're not a jealous person why do you think you felt the way you did?
Elor fell into thought for a moment. He had asked himself that question several times before, but hadn’t yet been able to find a completely satisfactory answer.
Letek: There are many options, but I don’t know which one is right. For one thing, the position of CMO is what I wanted to achieve in Starfleet. Or rather, what I still want. It doesn’t mean that I’ll be denied that forever. However, it also puts me in a position where I have to think about my future. Do I want it so badly that I might even leave the ship to try my luck elsewhere? Or am I content with second place? And... of course, I also wonder what I could have done better. Captain Adea surely didn’t decide who got the job by rolling a dice. Maybe... I also saw it as a bit of a personal criticism.
Thorne: Response?
Elor leaned forward toward the small table to take a big gulp of water. It never ceased to amaze him how exhausting it was to speak so openly about his feelings.
Letek: I think I’m just hoping this session will give me a little... guidance. A chance to reevaluate my feelings with the help of an outsider and understand why I react the way I do.
Thorne: Response?
Ultimately, it was also a way of coming to terms with it. A chance to reflect once more on what happened and what he can do better in the future.
Letek: And maybe also a little reassurance that I didn’t overreact completely.
Thorne: Response?
TAG / TBC
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Lieutenant Elor Letek
Medical Officer
USS Eagle
E240201EL2
Patients are asked not to die in the corridors.
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