JP: Cmd Alora DeVeau + Ensign Ross: Constellations (Part III)
Amanda Nordstrom
((Infinite Starlight, Starbase 118 Ops))
Ross: You know, I'm just wondering. I haven't exactly been a good brother over the last few years.
Why again did he tell her all this?
Ross: Our parents died a few years ago. First Mum, Dad a little later - I mean it's fine, I guess, they were old, had a good life and all that - my sister, she's also a lot older than me. When I left she was already expecting her second son.
Children whose names he knew, their age - but he wasn't sure if he would recognize them on the street. They had to be far over 20 by now.
Ross: It was never easy to bridge that age gap. And at one point I guess I just stopped trying to. I regret that. Only a little too late, probably.
Probably? On that, Alora disagreed. If she was alive and he was alive, there was still time, still an opportunity to reconnect.
DeVeau: I don’t think so. Rarely is it too late. Why don’t you try calling her?
Ross: I'm still waiting for the right moment. Maybe that's another mistake. Do you still see your family a lot? Despite the distance?
If he had asked her opinion she would have agreed that it was a mistake. Alora always had a good relationship with her family, even Adrien, and the idea that they might be estranged made her heart twist in sorrow. Adrien was gone more often than he was around, but his family had never made him feel anything but welcomed whenever he did show up. That would never change.
DeVeau: We talk every week or two, send messages back and forth, but seeing them? I average about once a year in person. I try to go for Christmas.
Ross: Oh, so are you celebrating?
Even though it was still a big thing on earth, he rarely met people who were keen on the tradition. Somehow he enjoyed the image of Alora in a huge red jumper, huddling around a table, mulled wine in one hand, a pile of presents under the other arm. It weirdly made sense. DeVeau: Oh it’s a big deal in my family, and with all the kids now, even more so. I have eight nieces and nephews, though the eldest is nineteen so it’s not quite the same for her, or the second eldest who’s sixteen. But still, it’s a big deal and we have a huge feast with French, American, and Japanese food and it’s just a grand old time.
Christmas was her favourite time of year, for even Adrien would pop up on occasion and join in the festivities. He hadn’t the last three, but she hoped that he would for the upcoming season. And the next year, she would have a child of her own.
Ross: ::smiling:: Sounds very cozy - and noisy. Must be nice for the kids, they will always look back on it, I'm sure.
He had missed that part with his nieces. Plainly and simply. A small wave of regret surged within him, but he didn't allow it to reach his face.
DeVeau: It’s not too late to start making some positive memories. You never know until you try.
Ross: I guess you're right. ::short pause:: But you don't have children of your own?
When Alora talked about her family her face softened so much that it was easy to imagine her as a mother.
The question made her pause, though it still did not affect her smooth movements. Not a foot slipped, nor did her posture waver. Instead, the music seemed to help prevent anything from showing beyond a passing of something over her features.
DeVeau: Children…
Ross: Sorry, I didn't want to get too personal.
Was that a problem? No. Not really. And…yes. Alora wasn’t ready to talk about everything, not in the way some people could. Not enough time had passed. But…
DeVeau: I would like children.
And she would have one. Although she had yet to show, soon enough it would be obvious that a life grew inside her. Not yet, but soon. So why did she fear speaking of it? Perhaps because she was afraid of something happening still. For all the abilities the doctors had, for all the technological advancement, she still remained cautious.
DeVeau: What about you?
Ross: Me?
He noticed her absent-mindness and was pretty sure that something was occupying her - but they didn't know each other well enough for him to pry. Also she was still his superior, at least kind of - although it was hard to remember that fact when she flowed back into his arms so effortlessly.
DeVeau: Would you ever want children?
He had already suspected that she would throw the question back at him, only now it felt completely wrong to answer her truthfully. Something in Alora's voice sounded hopeful when she talked about the idea of having children and he didn't want to be the person ruining the vision of a happy family with his own personal concerns.
Ross: Maybe one day. If the right person comes along? I'm not sure, though. I guess I still must be convinced that it would work out. I just don't have that optimism… like you seem to do.
Her mouth quirked slightly, not quite a smile, not quite a frown, something in between and never settling into either realm. She did have that optimism, because she had seen evidence that it could exist.
DeVeau: That all depends on how much the two people involved are dedicated and are willing to work to remain committed, through good times, and bad ones, no matter how long they last.
Because even though her parents had been together for almost fifty years, that didn’t mean it was all sunshine and roses. They had their bad days, their arguments, their disagreements, but through it all, they were committed and dedicated to each other.
DeVeau: I’ve seen my mother and father stay together. My brothers too. I also have eight nieces and nephews to dote on because of them.
Ross: It sounds like you're a great aunt already. ::a little cynical:: That's one thing I still have to accomplish.
One thing to accomplish, but it was a goal, and a worthy pursuit. Sometimes life took people in a different direction than one expected. Sometimes, one made mistakes along the way too.
DeVeau: It’s still not too late.
Ross: I don't know, it just seems like you're very in touch with your family and what they mean to you. That's a base. That's something you can build a home on.
Him, however? Always on the go, seldom in company for longer than a few months. And maybe the most worrying part about it was that he didn't even mind it most of the time.
DeVeau: It all depends on what you want. Things worth having and keeping and sustaining, they require time and effort. That’s the only reason my parents’ remained together. My siblings. It’s more than thinking ‘oh, I should do this’, it’s being proactive. ‘I WILL do this.’.
Ross: Takes a lot of commitment.
Something he had never been good at - at least he had thought so. Because when he took a look around he was actually here, right? Graduate of Starfleet academy. It still sounded too good to be true, an accomplishment he never thought to be reachable. Maybe this talk with Alora put a lot more into perspective than first thought.
DeVeau: The choices we make are ours, but we have to be ready to accept the outcome, whatever it may be.
And sometimes that outcome wasn’t good. Sometimes, the choices they made had unintended consequences. Sometimes, life didn’t allow them the choices they wanted. Alora inhaled deeply and let it go slowly.
DeVeau: I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so heavy handed. You have to do what’s right for you. I just…
She trailed off without finishing.
He didn't want to push her, knowing very well how it felt when you couldn't put some thoughts into words as easily as you wanted to.
Ross: It’s alright. You don't have to.
DeVeau: You seem like a really nice fellow, and I feel like your family would benefit from getting to know you.
His eyes widened a little, surprised by her kindness. How had they gotten here within a few minutes of dancing and chatting? Must be the drinks, or sheer starfleet magic. Or her.
Ross: That's nice of you to say. I appreciate your advice, Alora, I really do.
Another soft spin. By now he was sure they could do it with eyes closed - their rhythm had steadied, their movements synced up.
Ross: I really don't want to bother you all night. Are you leaving tomorrow already?
DeVeau: I am.
It was both a sorrow and a joy. Ops had been home for so long, and in some ways still felt like it. Yet, Denali had already become dear to her, and if she were honest with herself, she could see herself living out her days in Starfleet there. Not all of her days, for Betazed called to her. Her time in Starfleet would come to a close at some point, and she would put her entire focus on the 15th house.
Ross: Oh, I think the other cadets are heading out for drinks, but I think I've had enough for now.
Alora briefly turned her attention to the congregation of celebrants, and she saw the truth of his statement. Clusters gathered together, but many were heading out, seeking out a less refined sort of entertainment.
DeVeau: I’m not particularly inclined to join myself.
When he took a look around the dancefloor, Ross realized that it had pretty much emptied over the last half an hour. Closing time. When he took another look at Alora, flowing graciously in her fantastic dress, he couldn't help but feel a surge of sympathy for her. They clearly hadn't even touched the surface of their lives, but the connection he felt to her was very real. As was the question that followed, asked with a faint smile.
Ross: …are you alright?
They were the final dancers of the night, and the band continued to play just for them, even as the crowd of new graduates dispersed. She didn’t stop, didn’t really want it to come to an end, for dancing allowed her to feel something different, something beyond the reality of existence. Yet, Evan’s question brought it to the forefront, and as she turned her verdant gaze back to him, a small smile appeared, though the light of it failed to reach her eyes.
DeVeau: I will be.
Because she would keep pushing. The darkness tried to consume her, but though it had taken hold, it would not win. Could not win. She had fought it before, she would continue to fight it, and she would prevail. It wasn’t easy, and every day was a challenge, sometimes one was harder than another, but ultimately, she knew she would come out on the other side. She had to.
Ross: ::smiling softly:: Good.
He didn't know Alora. They barely just met - and yet they shared a second conversation, one that wasn't put into words. He liked her - genuinely - and he really hoped she was right and would be fine.
DeVeau: Did you have a chance to get your gift?
She didn’t want to linger on herself, she didn’t want to focus on whether or not she was okay, or what life had brought her. She simply wanted to be there, in the moment, focused on more pleasant things.
Ross: There's a gift? No… - no, I don't think so.
DeVeau: Then you should see if you wish to take it before you leave. All good things came to an end, and so did the dance. As much as she would have enjoyed remaining up all night, doing so was difficult with the fatigue that hit her. That too, would pass, and she knew she could not remain where she was as she was forever. So, as the song came to a cadence, the two followed it, their motion resolving and they found themselves right in the middle of the dance floor. Sighing, Alora disengaged, then motioned toward the exit.
DeVeau: I brought enough for everyone and then some.
Ross: …you show the way.
Just like in dancing - he couldn't have done it without her steady steps. And so he followed her, once more tonight.
Turning, she led the man off of the floor and up to the doors that marked the exit. Out of the main room, they entered the foyer and there, waiting, was a hovercart bedecked with a number of pots. In those pots were fuzzy leaves of various shades of green, some with edging of white or pink. And in every single one, flowers blossomed amidst the evergreen foliage, some pink, some purple, blue, yellow, and some a mixture of two or more hues. She had returned well equipped to continue her tradition.
DeVeau: African violets. I offer every graduating cadet one, and each will receive detailed instructions on how to care for them. Truthfully, they are hardy and take little effort. Would you like one?
Ross: I… - of course. Thank you so much, that's a really… nice gesture.
Had he ever been gifted flowers? Probably not, and probably because he would be a terrible plant Dad. But for this gift, he promised himself to look after it - it meant a lot to him, a little trophy for his graduation - and for dancing without falling (maybe in more than just one way).
Ross: I like the blue one. Do you mind?
DeVeau: Of course not, that’s why I brought them.
She would let him take whichever one he liked best, and as he lifted his chosen flower, a smile curled over her lips once more. One of her babies was being adopted, and would remain upon Ops, a small part of her left behind on the station that had meant so much to her the last few years.
Ross: Thanks a lot, Alora. For everything, I mean.
DeVeau: No need. I didn’t really do anything.
Maybe this was not only the end of the night - who knew if they would ever meet again. The fleet was huge and space even more vast.
Ross: So I guess this is goodbye.
Was it? There was that possibility. How many people had she said goodbye to and never saw again? Too many. Sometimes, there were those whose paths crossed with her own later, but more often than not, they parted ways and that was it.
DeVeau: For now. Perhaps I’ll ping you next time I’m on Ops. I’m here for exams from time to time, and I have friends here still.
Ross: Please, do. It would be nice to see you again.
Silence stretched out between them and just before it got awkward, Alora raised her voice again.
DeVeau: I should get to bed. I have an early flight out.
She lifted a hand and held it out for him to take, her smile gentle.
He straightened up before taking her hand -
DeVeau: Congratulations Ensign Ross. I wish you the best.
Ross: Thank you, Commander. Have a pleasant journey - and be safe out there.
The violet stayed with him when he turned the corner and returned to his room. Her eyes did, too.
************
Ensign Evan Ross
Intelligence Officer
StarBase 118 Ops
O240009ER2
&
Commander Alora DeVeau
Mission Specialist &
Second Officer
Denali Station
M239008AD0