[sb118-darwin] LtCmdr R'Ven - Apologies and memories

[Merrick R'Ven]

((USS Darwin-A, Deck 6, Natural Selections))

::It was quiet in Natural selections. Perhaps with the overlap of shifts it meant that that for next short while there would be virtually no one. In any case the room was open enough for Merrick and Sindrana to have a curious and long awaited conversation between them, one that obviously would not be finished with one sitting.::

::Sindrana seemed sorrowful that she had not come to see him and Merrick pushed. Perhaps he pushed too hard. Why had she not done it? Where had she been? What had she done?::

::These were questions that hit close to Sindrana’s center of being. She divulged some, but others were secret and painful memories. She had done many things, things that she was duty not to share. Thhigs she had not been proud of. Things she felt she could not share. Not with Merrick! Not yet!::

::The call from shayne had given her the excuse to make an escape! This was not over, but it was delayed for a time. And now Merrick who had thought that he would be too busy to talk with Shayne, now found himself suddenly with free time.::

::The burning question was: What precisely did Shayne want to talk about?::

R'Ven: =/\= . . . On second thought it would seem that I have time available now if you would like. =/\=

Shayne: ::Completely lying about his true feelings.:: =/\= It's... not urgent. A personal matter. If you have other things to attend to... =/\=

::Although Merrick's first conversation had ended unexpectedly, trying to figure out why Shayne would want to talk with him was becoming more interesting. Distracting him. A distraction that he welcomed right now.::

R’Ven: =/\= No, I truly have nothing else here. If you would like we can talk in Natural Selections, it is largely unoccupied. Unless you have some other place in mind?

::In fact the place was nearly empty between shifts, which was why he and Sindrana had chosen it in the first place. It was a neutral zone. Their individual quarters just felt wrong and her counseling suite felt like too much like a session. Here felt right. That is until it ended.::

Shayne: =/\= Thank you- I'll be there in two minutes. =/\=

R'Ven: =/\= That sounds excellent. R'Ven out. =/\=

::And with that Merrick closed the connection and picked up his glass of tea and downed it in a single gulp. Perhaps it had been time to end the conversation, but he hoped that they would have time to have another. There was still so much to say, and he hoped that next time, he would find a better way to say it.::

::The next two minutes had been short. Merrick ordered another Vulcan tea and was sipping on it when the doors to Natural Selections hissed and slid open to reveal Shayne..::

::Rising to his feet Merrick stood calmly with his hands behind his back as he turned to regard the man, his mind still trying to connect all the dots. The Borg woman seemed overly simplistic for a reason for the visit.::

Shayne: ::Offering a small smile.:: Commander.

R'Ven: Greetings Mister Shayne. ::gesturing to a chair:: Please have a seat.

Shayne: Thank you.

::He was no good with reading some emotions. Merrick could see the changes in blood flow and heat distribution and so could get the basic understanding. However discerning just why people felt the way they did, getting to the underlying causes seemed was a challenge for him sometimes. But even with that Shayne looked nervous, almost afraid.::

::This was the second time that this had happened to him. That someone seemed afraid of him. Merrick did not consider himself someone that would inspire fear. But he resolved to lessen it if he could.::

R’Ven: I am pleased to see you. How I can I be of service?

Shayne: Um...first, congratulations on your promotion. Well deserved...sir. ::Adding the last part specifically.::

R'Ven: Thank you. I appreciate that.

::The Rodulan’s gaze never left Shayne. The man still seemed afraid and Merrick could not figure out why. Shayne seemed to be working to pull the words out and Merrick would not rush him. He just saw what happened when he tried to push Sindrana. perhaps he could try a different tact. Patience.::

Shayne: I haven't been fair to you. I've regarded you with suspicion and even contempt ever since that incident with the Borg. My fear of what you had become, and the loss of the...drone...I needed to blame something, someone. And you became the target of that. I've realized that you wear the same uniform as me, and that, whatever did happen between you and the Borg, you're still a comrade. Before we leave the Darwin, I just wanted to say... I'm sorry.

::Surprise and embarrassment fought a battle within Merrick as twin eyebrows rose and his eyes widened. He had not been aware of it. At least not specifically. He had known that in general the crew did not trust him since his time but Shayne himself had never directly spoke of this.::

R'Ven: oO Why Shayne? Why now? Oo ::Why did even this thought cause pain? Merrick strove to bury it beneath his calm exterior.::

R'Ven: I am not sure what to say.

::And that was the truth of it. Merrick had had this conversation with Maxwell Traenor and then a similar one with Rennyn. Each time it felt odd. Like each person was seeing something private that he did not wish to show. It was only now occurring to Merrick that that may have been what Sindrana had felt.::

R’Ven: Thank you Mister Shayne. Your words . . . mean a great deal

::There was a time when Merrick would have noted that apologies do not change circumstance, and that was true they do not. But he was also coming to realize that he could not completely eschew emotion, such as what forgiveness and the acknowledgement of wrongdoing did for a person. There was far too much broiling beneath his surface. He was not a Vulcan, but he was not just a Rodulan either anymore.::

::He had to figure out who and what he was. But the crew reminding him of the bonds that he shared with them made things a little easier.::

Shayne: Response

R’Ven: It has been an adjustment for me as well. As we venture out into space, we are changed by it in unexpected ways. Some more completely than others.

::Was that Merrick waxing somewhat poetic? Whatever it was it seemed to relax the voices in his head. One of them was of a young Sikaran girl who could remember the moonrise on Binos IV.::

Shayne: Response

::He was not sure how much of the changes that had happened to him Shayne knew, or suspected, so Merrick was loath to reveal just how much he knew of 6of7. But he felt the need to speak of her coming from within.::

R’Ven: In my . . . studies of the beings that had been trapped inside the Borg bodies. I believe that they would be pleased of the efforts that you and Brell, and the others on board the Darwin had made in trying to save them.

::With the access to the machine he had all the records of all the beings that had been on board the Borg Sphere. However as time passed he came to realize that he did not need it. Each one of them talked to him day after day, relating their stories, their memories of what it had been like before they were taken.::

::They were free now. That was something.::

Shayne: Response

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LtCmdr MERRICK R'VEN - Science/Cybernetics Officer

USS Darwin-A    Training Team       A239210MR0