Lt. Commander Laria Herren - A Bad Day
Laria Herren
((Command Center Auxiliary ODN Junction - Hermes Station))
Laria sat down and went back to the deep breathing from before.
Rajel: Good thinking, we have a few people on the ship that for sure understand morse code. And that will show it is not a random pattern. ::She exhaled and leaned against the wall.:: Unless they used precious resources to do a side to side transport, we should be relatively close, yes.
Herren: We’ve got to stop ending up in these situations. I’ve tried to spend more time with the crew, but being trapped in a confined space involuntarily is not how I intended it to happen.
It was a joke, an attempt to create a moment of levity out of the horrible situation despite the fact that all she really wanted to do was cry. She thought back to those first few days on the Conny, her first meeting with her new commanding officer being when they had been trapped together in a turbolift that had a malfunction.
How silly of her to think that was the worst thing that could have happened to her. That was back when she was a shiny brand new lieutenant who still insisted on calling Jalana ma’am. A year and a half later and she was a lieutenant commander, second officer, supposedly more experienced. However, she wasn’t feeling the benefit of that experience anymore. The commander’s confidence she had been building up was replaced by a sense of dread, that nobody was coming to save them. They were going to die in that junction. Or worse when their captors had something else in store for them.
Rajel: You can try to see it like... your field docent can witness you in a stressful situation. Might get you a couple of plus points.
Laria nodded, but wasn’t as certain of her performance under the pressure.
Herren: Or lose me some.
Rajel: Once we get out of here.. what do you think? You, me, hunting down a Captain? ::She smirked.:: Maybe have a Sick Bay date to take care of these burns.
Herren: Definite yes to sickbay. Although I’m sure Command will hunt Va down and get some answers out of her themselves if she does slip away.
Rajel: ::sighing:: Well in the end we'll have to let HQ do their thing but doesn't stop us from getting some answers, yeah?
The response from her was unenthusiastic.
Herren: Yeah.
She leaned her head back on the wall behind her and thought back to her first meeting with the commodore. When she had been so eager to impress and showing the stressed and terrified side of her is something she would never dream of doing.
((Flashback - Turbolift - Decks 9 - 12?, USS Constitution-B - 240007.02))
The turbolift had stopped somewhere on the path to Deck 5. It wasn’t the ideal way to get introduced to the commodore. But, it was providing an opportunity to talk. About home, about her career ambitions, and now about her status with the Symbiosis Commission. Wanting to be joined. So, that is what they discussed while the faceless Ensign Flores who had been communicating with them worked to get the turbolift out of maintenance mode.
Rajel: I'd be happy to help you, but I also am aware that we only just met. ::grinning:: The commission also has a file of field docents and you can request a list of suitable ones if you should not know someone to be your docent. I did that in two of my past lives and it wasn't too bad being surprised.
Herren: I’m honored, ma’am. I would love to take you up on the offer, but I am not sure if that would be better or improper. What exactly makes for the ideal field docent?
She understood what a field docent would do and how to find one from all of the Symbiosis Commission’s materials. But she didn’t know about the specifics of what would make a good field docent from the docent’s side of things or if someone’s CO benign a field docent would be improper.
Rajel: Well I can also advise you to not try and impress your field docent with all kinds of tricks or by hiding your mistakes or bad days. They know. They are aware that you have bad times, that you have bad feelings, or get mad or sad or whatever. They also will know if you try to show them something you are not. I remember trying to be super impressive and they almost declined me because I did not show them my real life back then... long time ago, not this lifetime. The docent, commission and you all have one goal, to get you ready and be the best host for a symbiont. Perfection is not what is needed. A real experience is the goal.
Laria thought about that for a second. A commanding officer wanted to help officers give their duties their all and evolve into good, experienced officers. But, being in command also meant being tough when someone needed it or didn’t measure up. Unlike a lot of other relationships, it was pre-built into a good relationship between a CO and their officers that the CO could make decisions or say no without jeopardizing that relationship. Any personal fondness aside, the captain had to be free to make important decisions and not have those questioned or taken personally. A captain who couldn’t do that would have a lot of trouble not promoting anyone that asked or authorizing whatever anyone wanted to do. Maybe it wouldn’t be as much of a conflict of interest as she thought.
Herren: Then perhaps you would make an ideal field docent for me. Monitoring performance and making sure officers are being the best they can be is already a part of command.
Rajel: ::smiling:: Of course. You can ask anytime. I may not know everything but I'll help with what I know.
It was a very nice offer, and she would probably take her up on that when the time came. Finding a field docent really had been a lot easier than she thought it would be.
Herren: I appreciate that, ma’am. When the times come I might reach out.
((End Flashback))
Herren: Well, you said I shouldn’t try to hide my bad days from my field docent. I guess this is about as bad as it gets.
It was about the worst time there could be for a little field docent class/therapy session. However, there was little else to do since they had gotten the message out.
Rajel: Response
Herren: Honestly, this is worse than the battle. Worse than being actively in a fight. That’s obviously horrible but we can do our best to fight and to win. I can try to cope with stressful. Do something proactive even if it doesn’t end up working. We’re stuck here in a box. Not able to do anything unless somebody notices an odd power fluctuation. Just waiting for whoever’s doing this to move to the next step of their plan for us.
Rajel: Response
Herren: I’m sure you noticed I like to keep as much as I can under my control. Can’t ever control everything, of course… Being stuck in here in a place that seems purpose-built to keep us from resisting or escaping is my nightmare. I wouldn’t go as far as the Klingon proverb “choose death over chains”, but this is about as not in control as you can get.
It felt a little strange saying it out loud. Not that she expected it to be that surprising for Jalana to hear. That had been Laria’s entire career on the Constitution. Especially since her promotion. Be on top of things, be the administrative heart of the ship keeping everything in line and properly documented for the CO and the XO. And always be working, doing something proactive. Of course sitting in a prison with all control stripped away was especially stressful.
Maybe it felt awkward because she was complaining about it to somebody sitting in the exact same situation as her. Jalana, who was in exactly as bad a situation as she was, if not worse. But all she could think about was telling it to somebody. And the commodore was the one there to hear it.
Rajel: Response
Herren: I also simply really don’t want to die today. The last conversation I had with my mom ended in arguing over when I could next come home to visit. It wasn’t bad by any means. Still not the last word I want to leave things on.
Slowly, she stood up and resumed pacing. Under the impression that maybe, if she was moving, help would come faster.
Rajel: Response
She wondered who would even be there to detect their little distress signal. There had been Ensign Zaka on the initial team with them. But she hardly knew him. Maybe her Bynar friends from the ice skating lessons on Arentis? Maybe… That Ensign Flores who had been supervising her previous time trapped in an enclosed metal box with Jalana? No, not her. Then her mind wandered to the Pygorian lieutenant Shimisi. The engineer she had shared breakfast with, her dance partner on Arentis, the man who still owed her a tour of engineering in the hopes she would feel a bit less useless. As she paced she looked up at the hatch and whispered a prayer.
Herren: Come on Mingxing… you can figure it out.
Rajel: Response
Lieutenant Commander Laria Herren
Mission Specialist/Second Officer
USS Constitution-B
A239402AG0