Lieutenant Commander Kasil Kesex: Painful Memories
Lael Rosek-Skyfire
((OOC: Any thoughts or feelings belong to the character.))
((Village, Surface of PTE - 2891’s Fourth Planet))
As much as he understood Vorenus’s need to know who he was, the man’s actions so far made him nervous. What if he was restoring the memories of someone dangerous or what if Aimot did do more damage, which resulted in Vorenus’s self-control and regulation of himself being obliterated entirely? No. It was logical that he go first. If he made it through, then he’d consider Vorenus being next in line.
Kesex: I should go first. In case there are side effects. Then the rest of you can make an informed decision.
Vorenus: Are you sure about this?
Snow: No. The brain is a very complex organ and it isn’t something to play with. Our memories will return on their own, but if either of you go through with this, they may not come back at all, or worse.
It bothered him to cause Elizabeth distress of any sort, but this was their best option and as much as he hated to admit it, if things went wrong, she would need Vorenus’s skill and instinct as a fighter. Of the four, he was expendable.
Kesex: I’m fully aware of the potential consequences and am more than willing to take the risk. Please. It is my decision to make and I ask that each of you respect it.
Vorenus: We've all been running on instincts up to this point. But I'm remembering that...instinct is a lie, told by a fearful body hoping to be wrong.
He nodded solemnly. Instinct. As sad as it was, he didn’t have much aside from it. The few memories he’d recovered told him enough for him to know that they couldn’t stay here. They were a risk to the residents of this planet and they didn’t belong here. Everything in him was driving him to return to where he’d come from–once he’d figured out where that was.
Snow: ::looking at Kas:: I don’t think you are, Kas. You’re asking an alien entity to go inside your mind and attempt to unlock the memory bridges that your brain is already working towards naturally. A great many things could go wrong in this attempt and I don’t have the necessary equipment to save your life if things take a turn for the worse.
He hesitated, the thought causing a twinge of anxiety. It wasn’t that he feared death. No. When he considered the end of his life, his greater fear was what he would leave behind. Something told him that there was so much more for him to do.
A voice echoed in his thoughts, one that didn’t belong to his colleagues or the entities in their minds.
He was cold and tired, but he ignored the cold. Around him stars shone. Some bright, some dim, the most constant things in life. Segundo smiled up at them, happy at least to be dying among friends.
Almost immediately, as if from a dream, he recalled the quote and a smile curved the corners of his lips. A classic Earth author named Orson Scott Card. He’d never been much of a martyr, but if there was a cause worth dying for, it was protecting others from a fate that no man deserved. Someone needed to make the sacrifice and he would do so gladly if there was even a small chance it would work.
Kesex: ::nods:: I understand, Doc.
Aimot: ::to Kas only:: ~ You would risk your life for these? ~
Turning toward the creature, he nodded.
Kesex: ::smiles:: Someone offered me a bit of wisdom once–something that has stayed with me. “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
Vorenus: Response
Snow: If they can go in and stimulate the mind to recall memories, then they should be able to probe the mind without the need to stimulate anything. Accessing memories themselves to better understand who we are without the need to damage anything or bring them to the surface.
Kesex: ::sombers:: From what I understand, it’s stimulating the recall that could do the damage. I’m no doctor, but every memory I’ve recalled thus far hasn’t exactly been a comfortable process. And that was when I was allowing them to come of their own accord. Stimulating the part of the brain responsible for memory could prove tricky.
Aimot: ~ Kas is correct. I am unfamiliar with your unique brain structures. In attempting to stimulate the correct region, I could inadvertently stimulate another nearby area. I am uncertain how electrical stimulation would affect other areas. ~
Vorenus: Response
Snow: ::to Aimot:: How confident are you that this can be done without the result of damage?
He again saw Aimot grow still and quiet. Within moments, the loud humming that he’d come to associate with the non-corporeal entities speaking to one another resumed. This time, it lasted significantly longer, for which Kas was grateful. The beings seemed to be seriously considering his life and well-being. That gave him more reassurance that these beings didn’t mean them any intentional harm.
Aimot: ~ I will not know the exact odds of success until I have begun the process. However, a–what is the term I heard in your mind, Kas?–ballpark? I would estimate a 52.4% chance of no damage and an 85.23% chance of only minor damage. ~
He considered for a moment. They weren’t the odds he would have liked, but an approximately 15% chance of coming out of this with minimal problems seemed worth the chance, especially if it meant they got out of here and could return to their former lives.
Kesex: Not great odds, I admit. But I’m okay with that–and whatever happens as a result.
Vorenus / Snow: Responses
He felt a pang in his chest as he turned his attention to Elizabeth. He’d been trying to maintain his objectivity to do what really was best for the team, but he was concerned for her. His expression softened and he turned to her gently and carefully cradling her face in his hands as their eyes met.
There were so many things that he wanted to say, but he was too afraid to say them. What if he confessed everything and came out of this fine? What if he frightened her by being too honest? This whole situation was confusing enough for them without either of them having to sort through feelings that he wasn’t sure they were ready to confront.
Kesex: ::murmurs:: Do you trust me?
Snow: Response
Kesex: ::smiles wanly:: Trust me with this. Please?
Snow: Response
Vorenus: Response
Exhaling a sigh, Kas pulled Elizabeth into one last hug before releasing her and turning to face Aimot.
Kesex: I’m ready.
Vorenus: Response
Snow: Response
Kesex: ::nods:: Whatever floats your boat. As long as it doesn’t interfere with what Aimot is doing.
Snow: Response
Aimot: ::to Kas only:: ~ First, you must clear your mind. Focus on nothing but your breathing. ~
He did as Aimot asked, hearing his breathing deepen and even out, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest.
Aimot: ::to Kas only:: ~ Good. Now. You may experience some discomfort as I study your mind. This discomfort may intensify, but it is critical that you do not fight it. If you do, it could cause enough strain on surrounding areas as to do more than mild damage to those regions. ~
He nodded in understanding, closing his eyes. As Aimot had warned, he felt a tingling sensation in his temples and forced his attention back to his breathing. Suddenly, a flash of memory ran across his mind’s eye and he gasped softly. The memory was less than pleasant, causing his body to recall the physical pain associated with the events.
Aimot: ~ You must relax or you will hurt yourself. ~
Exhaling, he again focused on his breathing and tried to study the memory as an observer. There was a man–older than him from the gray in his hair–trying to pin him to the ground. A crowd of others looked on, but he couldn’t make out their expressions. He picked out the odd insult and even a couple of people saying his name.
Vorenus / Snow: Response