Lieutenant Commander Lael Rosek: The Awkwardness of Feelings
Lael Rosek
((Chief Engineer's Office, Deck 14, USS Chin’toka, Orbiting Sol III))
{{Time Index: Day 28 of Shore Leave - Morning}}
It had been a long night. The Captain’s sudden passing was weighing heavily upon the crew and she could tell it was already impacting morale. The other members of the senior staff were exhausted, their medical team from the extreme effort to save the newly promoted Captain. She felt a lump forming in her throat just thinking about it. Even her mental shields and the neural suppressants hadn’t been enough to prevent her from feeling the mourning on an entire crew.
As overwhelming as it had been, she’d needed to keep her head. In an effort to give the senior staff especially time to rest and process, she’d taken gamma shift on the bridge last night. It had taken a few cups of very strong coffee to keep her eyes open.
The night shift usually proved very boring. That was both good and bad. The last thing the crew needed right now was a fight or some shipwide emergency. But at the same time, the lack of movement had dulled her focus.
Lephi: Good morning, Commander!
She arched an eyebrow as Lephi strolled in and the first thought that popped into her mind was “what’s so good about it?” However, that was the coffee deficiency talking. Setting the PADD aside, she cradled the mug of strong, black coffee in her hands before taking a swallow.
Rosek: ::sighs:: You, Lieutenant, are way too perky for this time of the morning. ::takes another swallow of coffee::
Lephi: Oh you know by now I don't mind the morning meetings, though maybe in the future we can avoid them following late night fun? ::laughs off her joke::
She smiled softly at the humor, though with the lack of sleep and the sadness that had surrounded her since last night, she wasn’t feeling it. But everyone had their ways of coping. Though she couldn’t read Lephi like she could others, she knew the woman was struggling with her feelings, too.
Lephi: Thanks again, I hope I live up to your expectations.
Rosek: ::leans forward:: My only expectation, Lieutenant, is that you never let anyone or anything stop you from becoming the best version of yourself. ::smiles::
Lephi: So, any particular ideas for this plan? I might be newly promoted, but I'm not keen on stepping on toes right away. I'm here to make your life as easy as possible.
She paused, setting the mug aside and motioning to the nearby seat.
Rosek: Of course, Lieutenant. And we can get to that in a moment. ::pauses:: First, I’d like to talk with you about—recent events.
Calling upon her experiences over the years, she looked Lephi right in the eyes, her expression solemn.
Rosek: I realize that what happened was very sudden and didn’t give anyone a chance to adequately prepare for it. ::pauses:: I’m no counselor. But I’ve been told I’m a good ear and have been known to offer a bit of wisdom in tough situations.
Lephi: Well, you see, I'm still relatively new to the ship, but the man was something of a mentor to me so I'm not quite sure how to react.
Rosek: ::nods:: Of course. And that’s completely understandable. I didn’t know Captain Thoran all that well and it’s caused me to feel a bit like an outsider as the crew mourns. The only reason I can even fathom what the crew is experiencing right now is my empathic abilities.
Lephi: Empathic abilities eh? That sounds pretty useful.
A wry, unamused grin twisted her lips. She certainly wished it were different. Though experiencing the feelings for herself allowed her to be of greater assistance to those who were struggling, she also knew mourning for some could be a deeply personal experience. Not everyone would appreciate their innermost experiences being fully on display to another individual.
Rosek: It has it’s good and it’s bad. ::pauses:: But back to you. If you need to take a day or two to process, no one would begrudge you.
Lephi: With all due respect, sir that is actually the opposite of what I need right now.
She nodded. She could certainly understand that. It was her preferred method of coping, too. Feelings weren’t her area of specialty and just because it had been her duty to address the elephant in the room so to speak with Lephi, that didn’t mean she enjoyed it. She shifted slightly in her seat, feeling vulnerable even though she hadn’t shared much at all. She’d grown up learning not to let people see her sweat.
Over the last year, she’d matured and been forced to confront some of the more complex emotional memories from her childhood. She’d learned to tolerate them more than she would have in her impetuous youth.
Rosek: ::nods and smiles:: Great minds.
Lephi: I think that diving into work and getting this thing organized is best for me, and likely for the crew to have the distraction.
Rosek: ::pauses:: Distractions can be good. But please at least speak to a counselor. Don’t force me to make it an order.
Picking her mug back up from the desk, she took a mouthful, her expression thoughtful.
Lephi: I suppose we're going to have to present to Serala instead now, eh?
She nodded. Given that the woman was acting CO, it made sense. Who knew how long it would be before another CO was assigned? It would likely be quick, but with the bureaucratic paperwork it would at least take a few days. In the meantime, their christening party in Engineering was just what the crew needed given the last few days. In fact, she was considering extending the invitation to certain officers outside of Engineering. They couldn’t get crazy because of occupancy limits. However, they could afford to make a bit of a show of it.
Rosek: So it would seem.
Lephi: If I can speak freely here, she scares me a little bit. I find that level of authority to be intimidating, but it's just extra motivation to make sure everything is perfect. It's ::pause:: it's what he would have wanted.
Rosek: ::smiles and nods, sipping her coffee:: Yes, it is. ::pauses:: As for Commander Serala. She might seem stringent and serious. If she does, it’s just part of her command presence. Clearly, she’s earned the respect of this crew.
Lephi: Response
Rosek: I’ve served on several vessels in my time. With one exception, I’ve never seen a crew step up in a difficult situation like this one has. ::smiles:: It makes me proud to serve with each of you. And it reminds me of what I’m doing out here.
Lephi: Response
She cleared her throat and again set the mug on her desk, this time reaching for a PADD. Entering a series of commands, she pulled up a blank document and added Lephi to it as well.
Rosek: Well. That’s enough of that. About this party. I was thinking that we could add a few non-Engineering officers to the guest list. What are your thoughts on that?
Lephi: Response