Lieutenant Carter Greyson: Of Chiefing & Conversations Redux Part I: The Flashback
Zeph
(( Main Engineering, Deck 14, Warp Core Anti-Matter Injector Bay, USS Chin’toka ))
Carter was up to his ears in tools and elbow grease, staring at the glitchy monitor he’d been trying to fix for what seemed like the last forever. The only thing he hadn’t done was try swapping out the display, and he blew a strand of hair from his face indignantly as he stared at it.
Greyson: Don’t think you’ve won, you stupid device. I will fix you.
He was still staring at it when he heard footsteps come up behind him, and grow closer. Closer, and closer still. Though he couldn’t tell who they belonged to, the footsteps stirred him from his argument with the inanimate object and he turned around to discover the assistant chief making her way over to him with a smile on her face.
Lephi: Lieutenant. Always nice to see your face.
The conversation that they’d last had in Lael’s office had unnerved him a bit, though he tempered that with the knowledge that he too was once an ambitious assistant chief engineer. The memories seemed to want to come back to haunt him, but he quickly pushed them to the side and re-focused his energies and thoughts to the here and now.
Greyson: Hey, chief. What’s the word?
Lephi: Where are we at with the repairs? Are we going to be in good shape in case we're needed?
Greyson: I’d say we’re good, yes. Apart from this one glitchy monitor. Only thing I haven’t done is replace the blasted thing, but we are ready to face whatever comes back from the surface and whatever Mr. Peters does to the engines.
Lephi: Good, good. I trust you understand the importance of this going well for me, how much it means to me that Commander Rosek see how capable I am?
He remembered this all too well, as a memory from his past rose to the surface unbidden from his days as a loud-mouthed assistant chief.
(( Flashback -- Main Engineering, USS Veritas ))
(( SD 239406.20 ))
Carter had been given the green light to resume working after his surgery. He felt fine, though the telltale indicators of his argument with the deck plate were gradually fading away. His hearing, now back to normal, was able to pick up foot falls from behind him.
Luna was feeling pretty good about the repair progress being made to her ship. The Maelstrom’s damage had fried a number of systems with the strikes that had gotten through, but the main damage to the warp core had thankfully not been fried again when they’d done their warp jump out. So when she saw Carter at work, and no longer seemingly under the effects of the concussion.. she was pretty happy as she walked up.
Walker: Carter! Nice to see you up and about. And if things continue going well, maybe we won’t be getting out and pushing the Veritas.
Greyson: Hey, boss. Wanted to talk to you, if you can spare a few minutes.
She shrugged and nodded, curious as to what he wanted to speak about.
Walker: Of course. What do you need?
Carter nodded and looked up, turning his back to the console as the computer continued to compile the damage report of all the missing pieces.
Greyson: Just curious, why don't you ever go on away missions?
She blinked in confusion at the question. He could just as easily asked her why she didn’t like the color orange.. which come to think of it she did.
Walker: Umm, because one of the two of us should be on the ship.. and you have less time off ship than I do. Why do you ask?
Greyson: Some time ago aboard the Invicta, Dr. Rahman placed me as acting chief engineer to temporarily replace LtCmdr Core. Promoted to provisional lieutenant JG since ensigns aren't allowed to be department chiefs. Shortly thereafter, Dr. Skyfire and I got transferred to the Columbia, so I never really got a taste of it. :: He paused thoughtfully. :: Being assistant chief isn't all about paperwork and things, right?
She heard a wistfulness to his question that cut into her like a knife.
Walker: Let’s go talk privately, ok?
She headed toward the Chief’s office, an office she was sharing with him. When they got into the room, she closed the door and turned the windows opaque. She paused for a moment, trying to get her thoughts somewhat in order before speaking.
Walker: So.. in answer to your question… yes and no.
As far as answers went, that one was pretty lame. He recalled hearing similar from Dr. Skyfire on more than one occasion, and he thought he heard the same from Her Majesty at least once. None of his former superiors were like this, except maybe Cadfael.
Greyson: Vague and non-intuitive at all.
Walker: Yeah, it’s a stupid answer. But here’s the thing. The Assistant Chief is supposed to be learning all the details of being the Chief. And the safest and easiest piece of that? Paperwork, process. All the items that keep things running day to day. :: She shook her head and snorted softly. :: And one of the more irritating parts of the job.
Greyson: I figured as much, but safest place I'll disagree with. I had my share of unsafe engineering shifts long before I started working for you. :: He allowed himself to miss a beat or two as he processed her answer. ::
Walker: Away teams are another part of that. It’s where you see what’s needed away from the ship, working with others and I’m sure at times leading those away teams.
Greyson: Right. I've never actually led one. :: He gave a moment's pause to the conversation before turning the question back on her, even for just a moment. :: You were never in my position, were you?
Walker: Me? I’ve never been an Assistant Chief. I was either a loud mouthed engineer, or a loud mouthed Chief. Nowhere in between. Which admittedly, isn’t making this wildly more straightforward for me. So, in the spirit of openness… what would you want out of being the Assistant Chief?
He didn't have a detailed answer in mind, but he had given it enough thought to determine what experience he was lacking since he never got to do any real chiefing during his stint as the acting chief engineer.
Greyson: Field practice in commanding the minions so I can learn what my style is. Tagging along with you the next time you go barter for parts at Esperance. More involvement in major engineering projects, like the SAR shuttle which I've only heard about through the grapevine.
Luna chewed on the inside of her cheek as she considered what he was asking.
Walker: Seems like you already have given this a lot of thought. What are you hoping to get out of this?
Greyson: Mostly curious, and recalling a previous conversation. The last time I spoke to the captain on the subject, she mentioned that practice was different than textbook learning. That's not saying you're a bad teacher, mind you -- scheduling and routine maintenance are different than actually being in charge, if that makes sense. I'm lacking that experience, and I've been an assistant chief for... :: He paused again to do some math in his head. :: Held the title of acting chief for less than a month, and been acting chief since we launched. Seems like forever.
Walker: Well, as far as being a chief is concerned. The SAR shuttle is likely to be a single engineer doing the initial feedback. Then someone will run with it to get it finished. And from my experience, that’s akin to handling repairs. It’s more interesting, but no more at that point than routine maintenance.
Strike one. No involvement on large projects for him. Only theoretical puzzles on refitting older vessels, which reminded Carter that he still had to follow up with Mei'konda about the status of that project.
Greyson: So that's a no on big projects, then?
Luna shook her head with a slight frown. This wasn't going the way she'd expected...
Walker: No, I’m not saying you can’t. I’m just making sure we are on the same page. Similarly, when we are bartering for parts, I’m mostly expecting us to all be working from a list and getting what we can. :: chuckling:: It’ll be my first time trading for parts instead of requesting and demanding them. So not sure how much you’ll learn from me there.
Strike two. None of his academy courses had provided insight into a trader's mindset, so getting parts was probably going to be harder than actually running the department. Still, the skills were nice to have, even if he didn't get much of a chance to practice them on his own. It'd be a first, and he wanted to see how it was done from someone with more chiefly experience than he possessed.
Greyson: First time for everything. :: He gave another thoughtful pause. :: Guess the challenge then, is figuring a way to get in that practice I don't have.
She wanted to add, "without being put into a situation that will scare you away". Which was where her mind went whenever she considered allowing someone else to control engineering on her ship.
Walker: Yeah, that’s the tricky one. If I’m here, no one is going to actively listen enough for you to learn your style. So I’d need to be off the ship. However, you’ve signed up for the part time SAR team. Which means you normally would be tagged as the designated person for away missions.
He'd forgotten about that, though most of his SAR efforts had been one covert mission and a couple of flight runs. While Carter didn't mind having his piloting skills tested, he wasn't really the sort for covert anything. He was scared out of his mind when they found the scatter device, but that was partially due to it only being his second away mission on the ground and first out of uniform.
Greyson: Right. Forgot about that. :: Sigh. :: Suggestions?
Thankful for the simple answers of how, she shrugged and quickly ran down her thoughts.
Walker: I’d say we talk to the Captain and Commander Kelrod. Share that for an upcoming mission I’ll replace you on the SAR team and you’ll stay on the ship. And.. you’ll need to do one other thing come to think of it.
Greyson: :: Arching an eyebrow. :: Oh? What's that?
Walker: You’ll need to explain to Danni why I’m leaving the ship. I’d do it... but I’m sure I have an assistant for all the truly dangerous tasks. :: Grinning. ::
Carter felt that he'd worked with Danni forever since his transfer to engineering, but that hadn't been the case. The truth was, he hardly knew her at all yet they'd worked side by side for a while now...but being married to his boss, he didn't have a ready explanation to give her. Also, that lopsided grin made him a bit nervous for some reason. He couldn't put his finger on it just yet, but that grin... same derpy look as before?
Greyson: Why are you being a grinning lunatic about this? I mean, would she buy the excuse that I just need the practice?
Walker: Well, it's possible that she would. I mean it's a rational and reasonable reason. :: She couldn't keep the smile off her face as she said it, nor the lilt to her voice. :: I mean anything is possible after all.. what do you think?
Greyson: You tell me. After all, you know her better than I do, since you married her.
Which was actually the point. Being a chief wasn't all roses, and maybe that's part of the lesson she should teach.. carefully.
Walker: Well, I'd say you have one officer married to another, and are asking for that officer to put themselves in harms way. I'd have to guess that most spouses would frown on that in general.
Perhaps she was right. Perhaps asking one's significant other to willingly step in harms' way was a bad idea. However, in his experience, sometimes the bad ideas had to be endured in order to eventually pave the way for the good ones. For example, his decision to become an engineer after a mishap with the tactical console was a good idea, while his choice to be a tactical officer was a bad one.
Greyson: I see.
Walker: Other than the harassment value, which admittedly is high, it's a very teachable moment. :: She exhaled as the memory hit home and drove the mirth from her face. :: Carter, one of the admin tasks that I have not ever shared, writing the letters to those engineer's families that have passed, or been too injured to stay on the ship. I've had to explain what happened, why it happened, and hope that they understand.
Is that why Cadfael was in such a bitter mood all those months aboard Ops? Then again, he seemed to recall that Cadfael was running the department singlehandedly for a while without ever actually rising to full chief status. He'd read that his former superior had briefly been chief of the Victory, but that was only for a brief period of time. He nodded faintly and drew a breath.
Greyson: I don't blame you for not sharing that portion with me. :: He paused. :: Do you think they actually understand what happened and why?
If she were being honest, she didn't think so. She thought they blamed her for each loss at least as much as she did. But Carter didn't need to hear that, and the nagging voices of multiple counselors, and her wife, said maybe she shouldn't believe that either.
Walker: I hope so. But I'd say it's just as likely that they are too stricken by grief, rage, or whatever other emotions to contact me back. In any case, you are going to have to tell someone, in advance, that you are putting someone they care about in danger. Obviously you don't expect anything will go wrong, but.. while I'm off the ship, if you're anything like me in this regard, part of you will be worrying about what you'll need to say if I don't come back.
Carter kept his expression neutral despite the emptiness he felt at the possibility of explaining the reasons Luna didn't return to Danni. On the one hand, he wanted this to happen so he could get that experience he needed in order to progress. On the other hand, he also felt that perhaps maybe he was attempting to pursue chief status in all the wrong ways.
Greyson: What are your thoughts on it?
Walker: :: She shrugged sadly. :: Do you want the truth? Or the jokester image I share with everyone out there? And every chief I've run into shares my thought on this as well.. any death that happens on the ship? It's on the Chief Engineer as much as the Captain.
He hadn't met a single chief who didn't share that view, in any department. Carter gave another nod and considered the possibilities in silence for a moment.
Greyson: You think this is a bad idea, then?
Walker: It's up to you Carter. I think the Captain and Commander Kelrod will agree if you want to try. But I'll say that it's a lot more of a sobering experience than you may have realized. And if something does go wrong?
Greyson: :: He paused and considered his answer carefully. :: Then I live with the consequences of my actions.
Walker: If you ever want to be Chief, this is the safest step toward it you are likely to get. If you don't, then I'd avoid it at all costs.
Greyson: Good advice. :: He paused for a moment to consider. :: Why don't we try it for one mission so I get a taste of it?
He wasn't expecting Luna to agree with his request, but at the same time he didn't have much of an opportunity to ask Cadfael about it when they were stationed on Ops together all those months ago. Even when he was aboard the Syracuse, he felt like just one of the guys with next to no ambition.
She wanted to give him the chance. But at the same time, it was allowing someone else to take care of her ship! She took a deep breath and held it for a moment before exhaling slowly.
Walker: Do you think you are ready?
Greyson: I'm never going to know unless I try, right?
Had he been a bit more cocky in his response, she'd likely have said no. But this was as good a time as any, and she'd be a poor Chief to not give him the chance.
Walker: Assuming the Captain approves.. you've got my approval.
Greyson: When do you want me to talk to her about it?
He was, of course, referring to Danni in this instance, but he could just as easily have been referring to Roshanara as well. Though admittedly, the captain and commander conversation seemed like one he and Luna both needed to be in.
Walker: I'd do it before we go too far into our Leave. Otherwise she may feel that there's not enough time to prepare. Or maybe she'll have conditions to doing it. Hard to say at this point.
Greyson: Talking about Danni?
Walker: No, in this case I'm talking about the Captain. Danni's likely to have many words with me on this, but Captain Rahman will be the person to convince.
Greyson: Right. Looking forward to that conversation.
Once this conversation had concluded, Carter nodded and stood to return to his diagnostics so he could work on the repairs. At worst, he'd go play in the shuttle bay and work on the repairs to the Miranda.
She watched him walk out of their office and let out a long sigh after the door closed. This would be hard on both of them. Carter would either feel that nothing really changed if the mission was an easy one, or might be emotionally scarred if there was someone hurt "on his watch". And the entire time she'd be antsy, wondering if he was doing it "right". And blaming herself for allowing him the chance if things did go badly, if someone did get hurt or worse. At this point she felt more like a parent giving their child the keys to the car rather than a chief. She just hoped he'd come back with it only dinged.
(( End Flashback ))
Greyson: I understand how important it is to make a good impression, yes. I also recall a few conversations with my superiors on the subject of becoming chief and away missions, having been where you are. Been where Commander Rosek is now.
Lephi: Response
Greyson: I can take a break for a few minutes. Shall we continue this conversation in private?
Lephi: Response
Greyson: Lead the way, chief.
Lephi: Response
===
Lieutenant Carter Greyson
Engineer
USS Chin’toka NCC-97187
O239002CS0
Featuring flashback content by
Lieutenant Commander Luna Walker
Chief Engineer
USS Veritas NCC-95035
I238010BW