Lt. Kiliak Jo - The Burden of Command

[Lennard Noller]

((Timeframe - submitted to Starfleet record before Juneau's arrival at Mynok Spring Concerns and Rear Admiral Reynolds' revelations))

// First Officer's Log, USS Juneau, Stardate 239701.21

The events following the detonation of the asteroid chain following the already infamous "Battle of Belt 336" and the subsequent loss of the Ascent Vine with all hands has taken a heavy toll on my crew aboard the Juneau. And on me. As it no doubt should. While we were unable to attain an accurate manifest of the number of passengers aboard, some are already estimating the death toll could be as high as six thousand souls. Commander Raga maintains that he detected another Orion ship in the vicinity of the battle as well as a transporter signal, but that data has yet to be confirmed and that they may have made an escape afterward, to me, seems like an unlikely hope I cannot afford to carry. The chaos of the battle makes it impossible for us still to ascertain what it was exactly that set off the chain. Was it the final torpedo spread fired from the Fafnir? Our own weapons blast and improvised ordnance? A byproduct of the explosions occurring during the destruction of the Unconquerable? Not even Starfleet's best supercomputers can say for certain.

Following the loss of the otherwise uninhabitated system, we returned to scour the blast area with sensors, searching for any sign of survivors. We found none. Even the scrap hulls of the other ships were gone without a trace, it's believed they were completely atomized in the chain reaction, but we cannot be certain. The Romulan Republic has already pledged to send a special cadre to assist the joint Vulcan-Starfleet task force in their hunt for the wanted Syndicate criminals associated with the hijacking and kidnapping of the Ascent Vine and her innocent passengers.

I have personally requested a special delegation of grief counselors to be assigned to assist the crew in coping with this difficult aftermath. To think now that I had expected a mood of celebration, one of victory in our final days together as friends and colleagues... I know it has been particularly hard for Dr. Adea as well as Mr. Galven, who blames himself for taking the shot. I will also attend sessions as I have not been able to sleep through a night since the battle. I lay there, watching the stars streak by the window, I keep going through it in my mind, over and over again, obsessing. What could I have done differently? Was there a peaceful resolution we failed to see, one which did not compromise our mission? What if we had had more time, arrived earlier, had more equipment at our disposal? It would do no better to see such imaginations played out in a Holodeck. It will not bring the lost back to their families. That the Juneau managed to escape the blast somehow offers me no comfort now. My commission is to protect this crew and that is what I did... yet, in the earliest hours of morning, I find myself wishing that we had stayed, had tried to save those people, although it would only mean that we too would now be among the Prophets.

For what I now know is the first time, I feel I come face to face with the burden of command. It is not a lesson I will ever be able to forget. How I feel each pain twice, three times, more. For myself as well as for each member of my crew, for the Federation citizens I swore to protect, their families who I failed, my heavy, tarnished duty which I cannot set down for even a moment, for all the apologies I have to give that will fail to offer any comfort...

In an effort to assuage crew morale, our last stop will include a shore leave with the luxury resort at Mynok. I hope the crew finds some time to process and begin to cope with what happened. I have been told we are to receive the Bronze Star and other honors for our "successful mission", as it was publicly stated, to test and protect the Warp XV engine and the USS Juneau through her initial trials. At least we did that. That is something. I must try to remember that.

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Lieutenant Kiliak Jo

First Officer

USS Juneau

A239509KJ0

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