Lieutenant Zi Nijal: The Questionnaire

[Tony Colella]

OOC Okay, so I love that Karen gave Zi those questions!

(( 8-Forward, USS Octavia E. Butler ))

Zi grimaced. She'd invited Stendhal, who seemed perfectly nice, for a drink and a conversation, and then emotionally vomited all over her. Maybe the counselor would've read some of Zi's thoughts amidst the turmoil, but Zi couldn't help feeling awful about just dumping.

Nijal: I'm sorry about all this. I shouldn't have done it.

Stendhal: Do you know what? When I was stationed on the USS Columbia, the ten-forward was practically my office. I preferred to meet people there. Most of the time, the casual atmosphere of a bar helps people relax and makes it easier to talk.

Zi gave a tremendous sniff, which was in no way a response to the tears she'd just been swallowing. It was a well-known piece of Cardassian propagand-fact that Cardassians didn't have the tear ducts of many other Alpha and Beta Quadrant sapients.

Nijal: Really?

Of course Zi believed her, but in her shoes, Zi would've said whatever she had to in order to get the person she was talking to to stop crying. Not that she'd started, exactly... But of course Counselor Stendhal wouldn't have the same reaction. She was a counselor, for stars' sake.

Stendhal: I have something to talk to you about. Before we get started, why don't you grab another drink and maybe a snack? I think this conversation might take a bit.

Nijal: Okay. Do you want anything?

But the counselor was ready on that score, too, and she waved over one of the circling servers.

Stendhal: I'll have a Betazed Blossom Tempura, please. It's a dish made with deep-fried, lightly battered blossoms from Betazed's unique plants. It's served with a tangy citrus dipping sauce. I'll also have non-alcoholic beer, please. (looking to Zi)

Zi almost ordered another tea, but then thought -- well, it was leave, and she was clearly having trouble relaxing, as evidenced by the eversion of her feelings for the counselor.

Nijal: A stardrifter, please. And a double of that blossom tempura.

It sounded good, and she knew that she tended to enjoy Betazoid cuisine.

Stendhal: While we wait for our snacks, I want to reassure you once more. If the CO and the XO chose you for this assignment, then you are undoubtedly the right person for the job. Is that clear? The first thing I want you to do is to fully internalize this. You are perfectly qualified and in the right place.

Nijal: (another sniff) I've tried to tell myself that, too. But I just don't know. I really thought that I would appreciate the promotion out of engineering, because that's what I was angling for. I just (beat) I knew who I was when I was posted as an engineer. But now?

Counselor Stendhal thought about that for a moment, and then stood. At some point, Zi realized, they'd taken seats, though she was certain she'd been standing at the windows when the counselor had come in. Stars, she had really lost track of herself.

Stendhal: If you'll excuse me for just a moment, I need to get something from the replicator. I'll be right back, I promise.

Nijal: Oh, of course.

That left Zi plenty of time to think -- or, more accurately, to wallow. The server brought their drinks and the tempura a minute or so after Karen got up, so at least Zi had something to munch and sip. She could've pulled out a PADD, too, but that felt too much like running away from her problems, to lose herself in work -- but she realized, as she refused to give in to the temptation of distraction, that she was actually feeling a little hopeful. Whatever the counselor had left to get, she obviously thought it would help.

Counselor Stendhal returned a minute later with a stack of real paper and a couple of wooden writing tools. Zi took one with a bemused look.

Nijal: What's all this?

Stendhal: Now, this is optional, but highly recommended. It won't really affect your role or your promotion. It's a psychological evaluation questionnaire for your new role as mission specialist. (a smile)

Nijal: An (beat) evaluation?

Oh stars, did the counselor think she was really, seriously ill? But, no, she'd just said that this would have no bearing on her duties or future promotions. So -- what was it?

Stendhal: Don't worry, it's 6 sections only.

USS Octavia E. Butler. Counselor Karen Stendhal.
Questionnaire for a Mission Specialist Psychological Evaluation

Note: This questionnaire is designed to assess the psychological suitability of an individual for the Mission Specialist role.

Nijal: (faintly) I can't believe such a thing exists.

But she could, truly, because Starfleet counselors (especially this one, it seemed!) were prepared to care for their crews however they could. She continued to read:

Section 1: Personal Beliefs and Values

1) Philosophy of Exploration: How do you view the exploration of space? Do you see it as a duty, an adventure, or a scientific endeavor?

2) Ethics and Morality: What are your core ethical principles? How do you navigate moral dilemmas, especially in situations where the needs of the many may conflict with the needs of the few?

3) Belief in the Unknown: Are you comfortable with the unknown? How do you handle uncertainty and the possibility of encountering the unexpected?

The first three questions, once Zi read them over and then out loud, were certainly enough to be going on with, and she glanced up at Karen after she'd read them out.

Nijal: Should I...? (indicating the pencil and miming writing)

Stendhal: Response

So, before she continued on to the final three questions, Zi tackled the first three. She wrote in silence for several minutes, pausing every now and then for another blossom or a sip of her stardrifter, and as she thought about what to write next. At last, she looked up.

Nijal: Do you want to hear what I have so far?

Stendhal: Response

Nijal: Okay. (beat) I think of exploration as an adventure more than anything else. My people haven't traditionally been the most adventurous, at least outside the we're-coming-to-conquer-you sense. (wan smile) I've been trying to change that, to show that a Cardassian can live up to Starfleet ideals. And that's a large part of the principles I think are most important, too. That biology is not destiny. I'm Cardassian, and that's who I am and where I'm from, and I still choose to be a Starfleet officer. And I think sometimes (beat; slightly embarrassed) of what others would do in my place. Captain Worf, or Captain Nog -- the first of their species in Starfleet, and what they'd do -- not as a Klingon or a Ferengi, but as someone with the pressure to be the first on them. And the future -- that's the biggest unknown, isn't it? I mean, I've always thought that my eventual goal was to be the first Cardassian captain in Starfleet. But (slowly, thoughtful) I don't only want to be that. I want to be the sort of person who challenges herself to do that, and succeeds or maybe fails, but does her best. I don't know. Does any of this make sense to you?

She could, Zi realized, have been talking complete nonsense, and maybe the counselor was willing to hear her out regardless.

Stendhal: Response

Tags! and TBC!

--

Lieutenant Zimedia Nijal

Mission Specialist

USS Octavia E. Butler

V238208LV0

she/her/hers (this character) & he/him/his (player)