Lieutenant Zi Nijal: Legacies

[Tony Colella]

(( 8-Forward, USS Octavia E. Butler ))

Zi had just verbalized a lot of what she'd written down on the first half of the questionnaire Karen had given her, and Karen had let her speak without interruption as she'd done so. Even as Zi had spoken, though, Karen had taken plenty of notes, and as Zi finally ran out of things to say (at least, for the moment), Karen took up the thread.

Stendhal: You have a good self-awareness, you are very good in articulating your thoughts, feelings, and motivations. (taking more notes) Ambition, you have a good point when you say that you want to be the first Cardassian captain. Very well in aspiring to achieve significant milestones within Starfleet.

That was all good, Zi thought, and she tried to take comfort from it. No, that wasn't true -- she did take comfort from it, in the same way she might have from her old chief, Lieutenant Corelli on the 'Oumuamua, and her closest friend on both the 'Oumuamua and the Thor before it, TK Cabrillo. This felt personal and professional, and she honored Karen's gift to seamlessly weave through both.

Stendhal: (taking more notes) Adaptability, very good to adapt to new challenges and the desire to change the perception of Cardassians within Starfleet. (beat) Areas for Growth: Self-doubt, Fear of Failure, Need for Validation. We'll need to address these points. Don't worry, these feelings are quite common after a promotion. Even Vulcans can experience self-doubt sometimes, they are just good at hiding it.

Those were good points, and Zi didn't think of the areas of growth Karen had highlighted as failings, but -- well, areas for growth. No one was good at everything all the time, or knew exactly what to do without experience. Like Karen had highlighted, Zi was ambitious -- she knew that herself, very well -- and her quick promotion to a command-adjacent position and an advanced rank had all happened so quickly.

Nijal: (rocking back and forth slightly) I know you're right. It's not even difficult to hear the areas for growth spoken aloud, because I know they are areas I struggle with. (beat, slight smile) But not forever. I believe that, too.

Stendhal: Very well. If you're ready, we can continue with the questionnaire now.

Nijal: Yes, I'm ready.

Karen dug through her papers, found the sheet she wanted, and passed it over to Nijal.

Section 2: Interpersonal Skills

1) Leadership: Do you consider yourself a leader? In what situations do you naturally take charge?

2) Teamwork: How do you work in a team setting? What are your strengths and weaknesses when collaborating with others?

3) Conflict Resolution: How do you handle disagreements and conflicts with others? Do you prefer confrontation or diplomacy?

4) Empathy: How empathetic are you? Can you understand and relate to the perspectives of others, even those who are vastly different from you?

Again Zi took the several minutes that Karen offered her to think, and then to begin to write down her responses to the second part of the questionnaire. There was something tactilely reassuring about this method, even if Zi's written Standard was atrocious from years of neglected practice. She'd learned the language as a young woman, a challenge she'd set herself as a prerequisite to her desire to join Starfleet: If she was going to become an officer, then she couldn't always rely on translators. More than that, she needed to understand how Federation citizens and Starfleet crews thought, and that required learning and thinking in Standard herself.

After she'd poured out her initial thoughts, she again looked up to Karen and, at her assent, began to tell what she'd written.

Nijal: Maybe it seems strange to say I do prefer to work in teams and groups, since my eventual goal is to become a captain, but (beat) it's true. I developed a community with the other engineers on 'Oumuamua, and I haven't felt that same sense of community since my promotion. Of course there are engineers on the Butler, but I'm not one of them.

And despite the pride that she felt in her position, the trust that her COs had put in her with the assignment, Zi missed that she couldn't call herself an engineer.

Stendhal: Response

Nijal: (another small smile) Well, I'd imagined that I would become an assistant chief in the engineering department, and then maybe a chief myself, before I tried for anything else. I'd keep my community. But that hasn't happened.

Stendhal: Response

Thoughtlessly, Zi munched on the tempura blossoms.

Nijal: I much prefer diplomacy, in all contexts. I will confront, if necessary, but I come from a cultural context where confrontation is the norm, and I was trying to be something different. Empathy, I really had to develop that, and I still do! But I knew it would be impossible not to. That's what Starfleet is, isn't it, a melange that we all have to try and understand in order to represent its values. My parents taught me that, actually.

Zi blinked, surprised at the final admission. She hadn't written down anything about her parents, hadn't even thought about them as she'd been writing, but now that she spoke it all out, it seemed a clear omission.

Stendhal: Response

Nijal: They wanted something better for me. Cardassian Prime, and the whole Cardassian Union, is still recovering after the war, and (beat) that's going to go on for generations. And we've been a military people for so long, something like the war and the scale of disasters it brought was inevitable. They taught me that, too. They wanted something better for me, even if what they wanted wasn't yet something that many Cardassians were willing to consider.

Stendhal: Response

Tags! and TBC!

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Lieutenant Zimedia Nijal

Mission Specialist

USS Octavia E. Butler

V238208LV0

she/her/hers (this character) & he/him/his (player)