Lieutenant Commander Lael Rosek & PNPC Aldek Desai: Emotional Start To the Day
Lael Rosek
((Rosek’s Quarters, Deck 3, USS Atlantis, In orbit of Ilara Prime, Par’tha Expanse))
{{Day 3 of Shoreleave, Morning}}
She grimaced as she fumbled around for the button on the nearby console that would turn off the alarm. At last, she found it and the noise stopped. Laying back, she ran her hands through her hair and cast a glance in Maddy’s direction to find the young girl still sleeping. She smiled and shook her head. Maddy could likely sleep through a battle drill. It both made mornings easy and difficult--the former in that she didn’t wake up immediately at the sound of Lael’s alarm and the latter in that it made her tough to get out of bed.
Deciding to let her daughter sleep a bit longer, Lael slid out of bed and slipped on her robe. She then tied it closed and headed for the living room to make herself a protein-packed breakfast. She was going to need it for the long day ahead.
As she entered the other room, she noted the blinking light and the beep from the monitor on her desk that indicated she had an incoming call. Abandoning her plans for breakfast, she strode across the room and slid into the chair in front of the monitor, then quickly entered the commands to connect the call. Her brow furrowed at the familiar face looking back at her.
Rosek: Paĉjo, kio vi estas --? (Dad, what are you--?)
A. Desai: ::smiles:: Mi bezonas ekskuzon por nomi mian plej ŝatatan filinon? (I need an excuse to call my favorite daughter?)
Rosek: ::arches an eyebrow:: Laŭ mia scio, mi estas via sola filino. (As far as I know, I’m your only daughter.)
A. Desai: ::chuckles:: Sufiĉe. (Fair enough.)
She eyed her father, concern the overriding emotion at the moment. They’d agree that this sort of contact was dangerous for them both. Yet here he was contacting her out of the blue.
Rosek: Ĉu ĉio bonas? Ĉu Kellan estas sekura? (Is everything okay? Is Kellan safe?)
A. Desai: ::smiles and nods:: Li fartas bone. ::pauses:: Kiel fartas mia nepino? Ĉu ŝi vekas? (He’s fine. How’s my granddaughter? Is she awake yet?)
She shook her head. The only person who had been happier than she and Chythar when they’d officially adopted Maddy had been her dad. It was strange. Most Al-Leyans were uncomfortable around young children, but her father had been a very doting grandfather to her nephew and the encrypted letters that he’d sent for Maddy had been filled with excitement and affection for the newest addition to their growing family.
Aunt Louise had been over the moon and Uncle Thomas had been his usual reserved self, though if the smiles Maddy had elicited over their short stay there were any indication, she’d won the man’s heart.
A. Desai: ::pauses:: Mi estis seniluziigita, kiam aferoj ne rezultis kun vi kaj Toryn. Li estus farinta bonan patron. (I was disappointed when things didn’t work out with you and Toryn. He would have made a good father.)
She grimaced, recalling the last time they’d spoken, him rather loudly, in the Officer’s Mess. Yeah. She didn’t imagine they’d be having any long, cozy, lovey talks anytime soon. He’d essentially told her to throw herself out an airlock to save him the trouble.
Rosek: Yeah. Given that our last chat didn’t go so well--
Aldek sombered, noting his daughter’s switch to Federation Standard and the weight to her words. His brow furrowed. Had something happened between the two already?
A. Desai: What happened?
Pausing for only a moment, she told her father about the incident between her and Toryn. By the time she’d finished, an unreadable mask had replaced his earlier jovial teasing. The slight twitch at the corners of his lips and the coldness of his eyes had her concerned that she’d just unintentionally thrown Toryn under the bus. Well, the other Al-Leyan man had better pray that her father didn’t have a reason to visit Atlantis anytime soon or he might just be the one who was thrown out an airlock.
Rosek: ::sighs:: Neither of us handled it well, Dad. I think we were both caught by surprise.
Her father’s silence was less than comforting. In the time she’d known him, she’d never witnessed this side of him. He was usually the calm and collected one. It was quite a switch for her to be the one reassuring him.
With some time and space, the feelings of anger and hurt had given way to acceptance. He’d lashed out at her in his anger. She could have reacted better herself though. Lord knew she was a hard woman to get along with when someone or something hit one of her buttons. It was a miracle Chythar had survived all these years with her.
As much as she didn’t like it, she’d hurt Toryn and her motives had been to protect herself from the painful fallout. She’d started their relationship for selfish reasons and had ended it for selfish reasons. She’d spent so long fighting against the guilt, desperate to believe that she could learn from those past choices. The conversation with him in the Officer’s mess had ripped open wounds that had only begun to heal. It had made her feel vulnerable all over again and she’d reacted out of that fear.
Rosek: ::murmurs:: Feelings definitely aren’t my strong suit.
Aldek’s expression softened as he studied his precious daughter, his heart aching for the hurt she was feeling. How could Toryn Raga not see how the guilt was hurting her? Had he really needed to add more? Aldek had learned these last years that as tough as she looked on the outside, she had a soft heart and wanted nothing more than to help others.
Swallowing his anger and self-loathing, he forced himself to focus on the facts. Adelynn had been put in an impossible situation. His daughter’s mother had been made an incredibly difficult choice, not one he would have been able to make in her shoes. It still hurt that he’d missed out on so much of his daughter’s life because he hadn’t had the courage to stand up for what was right.
When he’d left Leya-I, refusing to undergo the therapy, he’d sealed his fate. Yet he felt freer than he had in years. He could have denied his children and kept the only home he had ever known. But the thought of losing what he’d longed for every day since Adelynn’s departure was more than he could bear. If his Season did kill him, at least he’d die with his integrity and his family intact. He’d have experienced the love of a father for his children and the comfort of leaving a legacy that made them proud.
A. Desai: ::softly:: Oh, mia karulo filino. (My darling daughter.)
Rosek: ::sighs:: I made the choices I made, Dad. I’m not proud of them, but I don’t get to cop out of them either. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy for Toryn and me after everything that happened. I still don’t want a non-platonic relationship with him, but I hope that with patience, we can re-establish trust and at least be friends.
A. Desai: ::smiles wanly:: Give it time, Lael. Let him see the real you. No pretenses and no walls. He’s not Jensar.
Her gaze dropped from the monitor, a touch of moisture gleaming at the corners of her eyes as she nodded silently.
Rosek: oO No. He isn’t. Oo ::murmurs:: I know. ::grimaces:: Why is it so hard to let people in? Why do I hurt everyone who tries to connect with me?
It was an old hurt, one that she’d struggled with her whole life. Chythar had been the first person she’d let in completely. To this day, she was grateful for whatever freak circumstances had led to their strong psionic bond. She’d had little choice at that point. Unable to entirely hide her feelings, she’d been forced to confront them and he’d surprised her with his willingness to support her through them. He was her safe place and her anchor. No matter what she was feeling, she could go to him and know that he wouldn’t laugh at her or mock her.
A. Desai: ::smile fades:: It’s something we share. We’re so worried about how others will react if we let them see our weakness that we don’t dare show it. But in hiding ourselves, we push away the people that matter most.
She lifted her gaze to her father’s and studied him for a long moment, saying nothing. Oh, how different her life would have been if she’d had his wisdom and counsel growing up. Then maybe her own moral compass wouldn’t have ended up so skewed and wonky. Sure, her heart was in the right place most of the time, but until recent years, she’d never understood the importance of self-control. Her emotions had always ruled over her and had defined so much of who she believed herself to be. Well, that needed to change. And that started with taking responsibility when she made a mistake rather than turning it around on the other person.
Rosek: ::exhales shakily and nods:: I’ll talk to him at some point. Be honest with him. He’s going to be angry and hurt. He’s going to say things I won’t like. But I can’t let that trigger me.
A. Desai: ::smiles:: A wise attitude, mia karulo. We can’t control what others will say or do. But we can control our own words and actions. You always have a choice.
Her gaze flickered to the time at the bottom of the monitor and she laughed breathily, wiping the moisture from her eyes.
Rosek: Well, this has been a rather emotional start to the day. ::smiles wanly:: Regardless, it was good to hear from you, Dad. I was getting worried.
A. Desai: ::shakes his head:: Don’t. Kellan and I will be fine. You just worry about your duties and taking good care of my granddaughter.
Rosek: ::softly:: Mi amas vin, paĉjo. Restu sekura. (I love you, Dad. Stay safe.)
A genuine smile crossed Aldek’s lips and he nodded.
A. Desai: Kaj mi amas vin, mia filino. Mi tre fieras pri vi. Ni revidos alian baldaŭ. Mi promesas. (And I love you, my daughter. I’m so very proud of you. We’ll see each other again soon. I promise.)
After each had murmured their final goodbyes, a black screen replaced her father’s kind face. She sat there for a long moment, her eyes closed as she memorized his expression from before the communication had ended. Another moment and she rose from the chair, heading toward her bedroom to rouse Maddy and to dress for the day. It looked like she might be eating breakfast in the Engineering office while she caught up on Atlantis’s recent missions and any ongoing repairs in Engineering.
----
Lieutenant Commander Lael Rosek, Eng.D.
Engineering Officer
USS Atlantis, NCC-74682
I238110RH0
&
PNPC Aldek Desai
Former Al-Leyan Ambassador
Unknown
As written by Lael Rosek
I238110RH0
