Lieutenant Commander Lael Rosek & Chythar Skyfire: Full Circle...Oh The Irony, Part II
Lael Rosek
(( Skyfire’s Quarters, Deck 4, USS Astraeus ))
Rosek: ::cradles his cheek and murmurs:: You know you’re my best friend, right? And that I never want to do anything to hurt you?
Skyfire: :: In Russian :: Da, ya znayu eto. (Yes, I know this.)
Rosek: ::murmurs:: Ya lyublyu tebya, Chythar. No kak drug ... kak brat. Ya ne vlyublen v tebya. (I do love you, Chythar. But like a friend...like a brother. I’m not in love with you.)
:: He was tempted, but only because he knew in his heart that this was rebound. If he did anything, he’d feel incredibly guilty about it later. He couldn’t risk that. He didn’t want to see what his poor impulse control would do to their friendship. Instead, he had another sip and nodded, setting the now empty glass on the table and held his head in his hands. ::
Skyfire: Ya znayu, Lael. Eto otskok, ya uveren. (I know, Lael. This is rebound, I'm sure.)
Rosek: ::pauses:: Vy tak dolgo zhili dlya drugikh lyudey. Mozhet byt', eto vash shans zhit' dlya sebya. Bud' spontannym. (You've spent so long living for other people. Maybe this is your chance to live for yourself. Be spontaneous.)
:: It took him a minute or two to filter past the wall of confusion that was flashing through his mind. He needed to stop being so confused, but he didn’t want another drink. Well, yes he did, but it’d be a horrible idea. Kissing her was out of the question, as that would cause all sorts of problems. ::
Skyfire: Vot pochemu ya yeshche ne govoril s Solokom o vozvrashchenii v lazaret. (That's why I haven't talked to Solok yet about returning to sickbay.)
Rosek: ::brow furrows:: You’ve been thinking about it? I thought you needed a break from the pressure?
Skyfire: Mei’konda suggested it, actually. When he recruited me. I can still double as a doctor the situation calls, but I will need to check Solok’s regs on staying current.
Rosek: ::nods and pauses:: When I divorced my ex-husband, I admit I went a bit wild. Started drinking a lot and that’s when I met my ex-lover, Alva. Got into a barfight with some idiot who was getting a bit too handsy with her and I told him to back off. When he didn’t, I decked him.
Skyfire: :: Arching a brow. :: Meaning?
Rosek: ::smiles wanly:: Sometimes when life gets turned upside down, we just need to let go of control...stop analyzing the past and live in the present.
:: That sounded definitely like Lael. And something she’d heard from him, actually. However long ago that was. Her break up with Jansen? Her breakup with Jon? He didn’t know. Right now, he didn’t care, but he did know that he didn’t want to hold another life in his hands for a while, so maybe staying as far away from sickbay as he could was in his best interest right now. If Solok brought it up, he’d probably say yes just to avoid the paperwork. Still… Nah. Now wasn’t the time to think about that. She was right, he had to live in the moment. ::
:: The sound of puppy paws across the carpet was accompanied by a soft whimper as Devlin made his way over. The four year old beagle placed his forepaws on his master’s knee and started licking his face, trying to cheer him up. ::
Skyfire: Hi, Devlin… :: He started petting the canine, and glanced at the bottle once more. :: Yeah...I know.
Rosek: ::smirks and nudges his shoulder with hers:: Maybe you just need to get laid. How long’s it been anyway?
Skyfire: 239201.25, USS Garuda. Fellow named Chase Valaine.
Rosek: ::smirk disappears and she blinks:: You and Alex didn’t--?
Skyfire: Even if we did, that’s classified. :: Not that it was, really. He had at least one night of fun with the man, but it wasn’t a subject for discussion. Chase was a one-night occasion, and a good year or so before he met Alex. :: Chase was the last ‘no strings attached.’
Rosek: ::rolls her eyes:: Hardly seems fair. You know far too much about my sex life and I know next to nothing about yours. ::smirks and arches an eyebrow:: Though you never were as much of a sharer.
Skyfire: Truth. Then again, as ah’m sure yeh ken by now, ah dinnae have one to speak of.
::She nodded somberly. Until last shoreleave, she’d gone far longer than usual without that sort of intimacy. She’d wanted it to be special with German and had been determined to take things slow to give them time to really get to know each other. While she didn’t know everything about his past and the decision to move in together had been impulsive, she couldn’t bring herself to regret it.::
::After nearly losing him to that damned virus, she’d been determined not to waste any more time being careful. Like she’d told Chythar...let go of control and the past and live in the present. German made her happy and she wanted to enjoy it...enjoy him.::
Rosek: ::pauses and slaps his shoulder:: You definitely need to get laid, old man.
:: He picked up Devlin and situated the canine against his shoulder, looking to her as he kept his hands wrapped around his dog. For the first time since this conversation began, a hint of mischief flickered in his eyes. ::
Skyfire: Tell yeh what, Lael. You arrange a blind date for me, and ah’ll consider it.
Rosek: ::chuckles:: A charmer like you? You can find your own bedmates. ::studies him and pauses:: Maybe you need a bit of a change. ::smiles wanly:: As much as I enjoy the rogue pirate look, it might make you feel a bit better. Cutting away the past and all that.
Skyfire: Ah’ll think about it once ah line up a date, a’right?
::She rolled her eyes and shook her head, smiling. The man was so stubborn.::
Rosek: Might just sneak in and do it while you’re asleep, then.
::For the first time in awhile, she let her inner five-year-old emerge and stuck her tongue out at him, then let out a giggle.::
:: As though picking up on the thoughts burning inside her brain, he smiled back in return. For the first time since she entered the room, a genuine smile crossing his lips. ::
Skyfire: Takes one to know one, lass.
Rosek: ::runs her fingers through his hair:: Seriously though. Is a date really what it’ll take for you to trim this up? Frankly, I think you’d feel better, date or not.
Skyfire: I don’t really--
:: He trailed off. The sort of intimate contact that came with their friendship was...he didn’t know if it was truly unwelcome in the moment, or if it only confused him more. He wanted to do something about it, to really be spontaneous, but at the same time, getting up and leaving the room didn’t seem like the answer. He glanced at the bottle again, wanting to have another glass but not wanting to at the same time. Perhaps she was right, and he needed a bit of help, but as usual...he didn’t trust himself after he’d been drinking. Finally, he thought of two options. ::
Skyfire: Okay. I’ll give you a choice. Recommend a good barber, or see if you can slot some time in that super-busy schedule of yours to play Extreme Makeover, Skyfire edition.
::Her smile faltered and she pulled her hand away, realizing that she was making him uncomfortable. It was a reminder of a rough period in their friendship when the intimate touches she’d become so accustomed to between them had created nearly unbearable friction.::
((Flashback))
((Skyfire’s Quarters, USS Za))
{{Time Index: Stardate 239405}}
Skyfire: Enter.
::She felt the tension from the moment she entered the room, her smile faltering. It was a consequence of their attempts to untangle the mess that was their link. The surface emotions would be more prevalent until they had dealt with them. Normally, she would have hugged him to help comfort him. But given the circumstances, it might only make things worse. Touch seemed to amplify the connection.::
:: He picked up his teacup from the meal preparation and sipped it, some of the surface tension fading. He gave a weary smile to her in an effort to be friendly-like, though given how battered and broken he felt by the efforts they’d undertaken in the last few weeks it was the best he could do on short notice. ::
Skyfire: ‘Allo.
Rosek: ::murmurs:: Hi.
Skyfire: Meat lasagna and tea on the menu. Can provide other drinks if you’d prefer.
Rosek: ::shakes her head:: Tea is fine. And lasagna sounds good.
:: He motioned to the table and drained the contents of his cup, attempting to relax. He was bad at it recently for some reason. Probably due to the exhaustion level after each of their
sessions. ::
::She slid into one of the chairs and poured herself a cup of tea, sipping it.::
Rosek: ::murmurs:: The tea is good. What kind is it?
Skyfire: A black one from Betazed. Sal seems to think it helps amplify relaxation.
:: He sat down as well, refilling his cup with tea. He didn’t get much of a chance to relax since his shift ended, mostly because any attempts at napping were interrupted by his nightmares. ::
::Lael nodded, taking another sip. Her gaze flickered to Chythar, noting the exhaustion written on his face. No doubt his nightmares were affecting his ability to sleep. She had been dealing with some since their last session. Her subconscious seemed to take delight in reminding her of the possibility that her feelings for Chythar went beyond platonic. She grimaced. It was almost painful not being able to touch him. She hadn’t realized until she’d stopped how often the two of them had engaged in some form of physical affection.::
:: He was silent for several minutes as they began eating the plates of tasty CD had provided. He didn’t know what to talk about. Their friendship had definitely taken a few hits, and he hadn’t the faintest idea how to actually repair it. He noted the concern which etched it’s way into her features, but made no comment. ::
::She sighed, hating the double standard. The level of physical intimacy between them wouldn’t be given a second thought if it was between two women. Worrying her lip, she paused. It was that level of physical intimacy that had gotten them into this situation in the first place. They’d fallen into the pattern so easily, which had only made the connection they shared stronger. She reflected on her earlier thoughts, her subconscious waving a red flag. The thought of not touching Chythar was actually more painful than the onslaught of emotions when she did. God, was she in trouble.::
:: He said nothing as he continued eating. He was still clueless on what to say, for the most part. CD was not normally this awkward with his closest friends, but in light of the can of worms which was their connection, he was wordless. He probably should say something, but he didn’t want to jinx it. ::
::Her throat tightened and a stray tear escaped without her permission. She wiped it away quickly, hoping Chythar hadn’t seen.::
Rosek: ::murmurs:: This was a bad idea, wasn’t it?
Skyfire: Why would you think that?
Rosek: ::motions between them:: We can’t even talk to each other. This is destroying our friendship and neither of us has the slightest idea how to stop it or fix it.
:: He exhaled heavily and nodded, agreeing with her point but didn’t know how to address it. It was one of those moments where he wished he was just a normal human again without these gifts. He knew that’d never happen. He’d been on the inhibitors before, gotten addicted, gotten off the addiction wagon, and kept falling back into that vicious cycle if he resumed them. He had been clean for nearly two years, and wanted to keep it that way. ::
Rosek: ::sighs in frustration:: It’s this damned tension. ::drops her fork onto the plate with a “clang”:: I’m so tired of having to contain my feelings. I want things to go back to the way they were before. ::moisture glistens in her eyes as she meets his:: We used to hug and touch each other all the time. Now because of this damn connection. ::exhales shakily:: I’m afraid to...afraid that it’ll make a bigger mess of things.
((End Flashback))
::She was an affectionate person by nature and used touch in all her close relationships to communicate how much she cared for someone. Her gaze dropped to her hands. It was easy to see how what she perceived to be an innocent touch could be misconstrued as something non-platonic. She just wasn’t used to Chythar thinking that way. In truth, it stung even if intellectually she understood why. She stayed like that for a few long moments before gathering her courage and again lifting her gaze to meet his.::
Rosek: Styling hair isn’t one of my gifts, but Tobian said the barber on deck 8 is great.
:: Perhaps she was right about him needing a haircut and a date. He hadn’t actually seen Tobian at all since he got back, as the bartender was working in another bar or on the opposing shifts. He had, of course, heard about Aiden, and had been meaning to pay his respects to the Daltons but hadn’t gotten around to it. Devlin whimpered again and licked Chythar’s face in one of his well-defined patterns, which was giving adorable face-licks til his master felt better. CD sighed heavily, but only offered a nod to her words. Finally, after another minute of awkward silence, he spoke. ::
Skyfire: I’ll think about it.
::Again, silence fell between them. The memory from the Za that had filled her mind’s eye against her will was making her uncomfortable, the feelings surging forward like old wounds opened anew. It had been painful then to think that they couldn’t be themselves with one another. The ease of their friendship...it had happened without thought and without having to force anything. Even before the connection, he’d been able to offer the dry humor she needed to break free of the self-deprecating cycle she often got stuck in.::
Rosek: ::sighs:: I was really hoping we wouldn’t find ourselves back in this mess. I get that you can’t control what you feel. But my feelings nearly destroyed the healthiest platonic relationship I’ve ever had with someone of the opposite sex. ::runs her hands through her hair and sighs:: Hell...the healthiest platonic relationship I’ve ever had period.
:: He saw the same memory, as it flashed through his mind as she was thinking it. He swallowed roughly. Muscles tensed, and Devlin amplified the level of cuteness by headbutting Chythar after every four face-licks to try and make him relax. CD chuckled slightly at his canine’s antics, but he remained serious as he continued his conversation. ::
Rosek: ::murmurs:: I was convinced that our friendship was over that night. Remember the sparring match? How awful that turned out? We barely spoke for months after that.
Skyfire: Yes. And you know now that I’m tempted because I’m confused about what...who…I want. If anyone. Whether I’m worthy or not.
:: He reached one hand to the small cross he wore around his neck and reminded himself that if it was God’s will for him to fall in love, it’d happen. This was another test, and per the old adage: that which doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. Even if it took a while. ::
Rosek: ::huffs unamusedly:: Shoe is on the other foot it seems. This time it’s you who’s single with confusing feelings and me who’s committed to someone.
Skyfire: :: Quietly. :: Yes. Rebound emotions suck.
Rosek: ::murmurs:: Murphy, go pick on someone else.
Skyfire: Isn’t that my line?
Rosek: ::lifts her gaze to meet his and smiles wanly, raising her glass of tequila:: Where did you think I got it from? ::pauses:: To friendship. Ours has been tested so much it’s a wonder we’re still standing.
Skyfire: In the immortal words of Elton John, “I’m still standing.” :: He reached for his glass and clinked it against hers, despite it being empty now. :: To friendship.
END
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Chythar Skyfire
Barista, Pagrati Lounge (Brew Continuum Franchise)
USS Astraeus NCC-70652
O239002CS0
&
Devlin the Beagle
Therapy Dog
O239002CS0
&
Lieutenant Commander Lael Rosek
Executive Officer, USS Astraeus, NCC-70652
I238110RH0